💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › BONDAGE › bonda… captured on 2021-12-03 at 14:04:38.
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bondage one (october 2, 1996) | ___|
________________________________________________________ | |__ ___________
333#################################################### |_____| #####KTS!A
writing a bad joke - evol
trainstation memories - spinsane
blue movie - eerie
king of the worms - puck
dawnlight - mister e
bury me - teletype
not perfect, but mine - evol
prude discorporations - eerie
hey you - mogel
lobotomy in q - puck
combustion lente - eerie & evol
tommy can throw a ball, but susie likes cakes - puck
cyclic - teletype
beaster - eerie
"if i was a preacher
tell you what, i'd save a million souls -
even yours"
- shellac
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> writing a bad joke
evol
___________________________________________________________
if they ever ask you what color my eyes were,
you'll say, "dull."
i know you think so.
it doesn't affect me
the trouble with affection is that
it's nothing but a symptom,
terribly contagious,
of another disease --
something to which it seems
all boys are immune
and i have no
antibodies
oh, LOOK.
i have my own body
the hard floor proves it,
keeps it definite
while your pillows would only make
question of it
(i comfort myself this way when
i find my half-conscious hands searching for you
in the middle of the night)
this is not a pleasant way to go.
it's slow and it hurts
and it's not giving way
to any great works of art
which like an actor dying
on a movie set
from a faulty prop,
it's that pathetic.
someone told me today to lighten up.
i set myself ablaze.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> trainstation memories
spinsane
___________________________________________________________
I trail a limp, smoky hand through my grease tangled hair
in the subway station in LA
posters hang on the walls,
cheap, tobacco stained remnants
of movies long past.
Flicking on the cinema, like shafts of light
bursting through the moving cars ahead of me
that squeal and strain to be heard
in the dark monopoly of life.
With each tiny tick of my watch,
my feet scuff the sullied pavement
that I will never touch again;
trying in vain to leave a mark
on the places I've already been.
The suitcase rests silently
a padded leather shell smeared
with grease from my finger tips
and the light rain outside.
Each lightbulb overhead flickers
through a cloud of spidery webs.
Like the thoughts in my mind,
long laying dormant
like post-adolescent bicycles,
laying in the rye, with playing cards still attached.
I tilt back my head one more time
before the empty weight in my hand
is too much, and I let the bottle crash.
The ground where I lived soaks up the
old, diluted alchohol
like kerosone memories waiting to be lit
and fill the shadows
with Polaroid pasts...
The train comes to a halt
deserted a dirty like me
its old worn business suit
a patchwork of graffiti and stale notices
that never went read
and will never be read by me
as the hiss of the brakes signals my departure.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> blue movie
eerie
___________________________________________________________
"for how long
will you have to
hide your grace?
why doesn't your
VIOLENCE
feeds me?
i need BLUE
i need RED
water-blood
keep me awake
keep me alive
my ears ache
& my ey - "
it was all on the wet sand
dissicated &
unfinished
tear me apart, she said
again
fuck me where the
waves break
& let them fall
'cause your sex
tastes just like
salty water
come on baby
do it now
spreading sunblock
lotion on her
open wide
northeastern white
skin
like sperm
just as insane
& she walks around
the rotting figures of
fat tourists
& their women
with saggy breasts
& she floats
& her belly button
sucks you deep
& she bathes
& she makes water
turn to blood
meal for
the sharks
if i were her dad
i wouldn't be able
to stand it
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> king of the worms
puck
___________________________________________________________
One hot, dry afternoon,
the day after a long, brown, wet rain,
I was King of the Worms.
I walked up and down the scalding
sidewalks and laughed at my
sizzling subjects,
who, only the day before,
had banished me
to the lawn.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> dawnlight
mister e
___________________________________________________________
dawnlight pixels
creeping into
the cold stain
of darkness
opening
long awaited
eyes yearn
for guidance
losing
another battle
to another
slumber
stepping awake
from nocturnal
mysterious lands...
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> bury me
teletype
___________________________________________________________
Caterpillar to the moth,
says hand me the mirror.
Give me my reflection,
show me the future.
An alarm is going off,
time is getting nearer.
He made the connection,
He was my teacher.
Bury me. Six feet under. Bury me.
Tear me asunder. Destroy me.
Bury me. Seal me in my coffin.
Bury me. You do it so often.
Do it again, please Bury me.
I don't wanna be. Bury me.
Little trick or treater,
thinks it's halloween.
She wants it all,
fill her goody-bag.
Why don't you meet her?
The all time beauty queen.
Break down her wall,
play a game of tag.
Bury me. Six feet under. Bury me.
Tear me asunder. Destroy me.
Bury me. Seal me in my coffin.
Bury me. You do it so often.
Do it again, please Bury me.
I don't wanna be. Bury me.
Rich fat oil king,
drilling in our ground.
Questing for his life blood,
the dark and viscous gold.
His pray is hiding,
waiting to be found.
Then a veritable flood,
much death to be sold.
Bury me. Six feet under. Bury me.
Tear me asunder. Destroy me.
Bury me. Seal me in my coffin.
Bury me. You do it so often.
Do it again, please Bury me.
I don't wanna be. Bury me.
Wretched mosquito,
sucking out life.
Spreading disease,
A creature of greed.
Relentless libido,
cut with my knife,
I'm ready to please.
Sowing the seed.
Bury me. Six feet under. Bury me.
Tear me asunder. Destroy me.
Bury me. Seal me in my coffin.
Bury me. You do it so often.
Do it again, please Bury me.
I don't wanna be. Bury me.
She wears diamond rings,
she eats caviar.
Mingles with high society.
We know she has said
"I have material things.
I've made it far."
But with her impropriety,
she's better off dead.
Bury me. Six feet under. Bury me.
Tear me asunder. Destroy me.
Bury me. Seal me in my coffin.
Bury me. You do it so often.
Do it again, please Bury me.
I don't wanna be. Bury me.
Filthy vagabond nomad,
wandering the nation.
Salt of the earth, I would say.
Living his life to be free.
Our lifestyle to him a fad,
since the dawn of creation.
Let him show you the way.
Then you can see me.
Bury me. Six feet under. Bury me.
Tear me asunder. Destroy me.
Bury me. Seal me in my coffin.
Bury me. You do it so often.
Do it again, please Bury me.
I don't wanna be. Bury me.
You'll never see.
Break my mirror.
You'll never know.
Burn down my house.
You'll never pierce.
Smash down my door.
You'll never bend.
UNRELENTING!
Bury me. Six feet under. Bury me.
Tear me asunder. Destroy me.
Bury me. Seal me in my coffin.
Bury me. You do it so often.
Do it again, please Bury me.
I don't wanna be. Bury me.
Go on, I'll never be free. Bury me.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> not perfect, but mine
evol
___________________________________________________________
so here we sit, alone again
just me
and my flaming GOD COMPLEX
awake at sixseveneight?
(i never change my clock
during daylight savings)
but no one is home
i'm too drowsy to appreciate it
parked outside is a car
i do not identify with
any kind of violation
i'm too beaten to appreciate
i resent a lot of things despite my
half-conscious, technicolor conditions
i spend my life in euphemisms
so you cannot approach me unskinned
i am the sterling-silver-unpolished-
right-out-of-the-dishwasher-
fogged with self-eSTEAM but-
never-the-other,
pass the potatoes.
i am so domestic i speak english
retards flood the hallways
they sing and clap and everyone asks
"who the fuck do they think they are?"
they run and dance, banging the lockers
they do shit i wouldn't do if i _were_ god;
maybe that's who they think they are
my diluted friends spill their shit into me
and i think it stinks.
every day ends with an epilogue,
not an exit
and as for a rather eventful existence,
i'd say i've got it all down
at 2pm is the drunk UPS man
who races his monster truck like
it's a toy city with toy people
he honks at me and i feel retarded
(though not godly)
i just lost another
poetry contest,
another reminder that nobody loves me
as much as i do,
a humbling experience.
i think about drunk UPS men when
you're not around.
there are a lot of people i'm not attracted to,
and you're the nicest of them all
LOOK, honey! science has a new use for us!
pass the potatoes.
my mouth believes it is the blender cap,
and without it you'll go everywhere
my body suffers a terrible withdrawal,
a smashed fishtank, all at once
a foreign withdrawal, (or i am
too domestic) this flood throttles me.
your best friend hates me.
even fireworks are small
life is pointless
when there's nothing to avoid
the asphalt highway is potholed
i do not identify with the cars
i can no longer concentrate
but i can't say that,
because _everybody_ says that,
-i've- already said that,
so i'm straightforward in my reluctance
though it does my head NO justice.
oh fuck this
i haven't got the money to
save myself from killing somebody
so i think i'll sell this one
for fifty cents
(it's kinda fucked that feelings are so marketable)
parked outside is a car i do not identify with
and i smell the sweet shampoo you must've
borrowed from your sister or your mother
as all of your intentions
bend my way.
(he's seen me naked,
and he says he loves me anyway)
i can't look at other couples,
they're all pretty ugly.
i hope we're not
the coupons are clipped and alive
on the table next to the loveseat
that has been clawed at
a million times
and somehow i
relate to it...
just a stray car that's parked inside
i am the dried-out-pen-you-(k)need (like dough)-
to-tell-them-that-you-love-them-so-
that's-why-you're-dead.
most people do not know
of their perpetrators
i have seen the prices put on my head.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> prude discorporations
eerie
___________________________________________________________
dressed with transient chimera
stiffened into atrophied incoherence
i knock on the orifices of latent sanctity
in a pornographical premise
crimson morosity
macerated in bruised, heroin-sick, venereal prisons
the affected regions will be afflicted with
permanent & irreparable damage
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> hey you
mogel
___________________________________________________________
i take a trip upon my sinkin' ship
it stays to-get-her with a little glue
i go where i wanna
i do what i wanna
i don't know civilization
i don't know civilization
and i kill 'cause morality ain't sound important
i went to the seashore
and picked up a few rocks
and they was dirty
and i filled my socks
and i brought 'em back aboard and cleaned 'em
and i brought 'em back aboard and cleaned 'em
they reminded me of this girl on an island
but she was more better then them rocks
i don't care she ain't here with me now
i don't care she ain't here with me now
it's all here with these rocks
stoned stones of
my minded mind will
unite the rock's rocky unity.
i don't care i ain't here anymore
i don't care i am where i wanna be
i do what i want, so you can shut up
i'll sail my ship right past you
right past your island
right past you
i may throw these rocks out
they begining to smell like you
sail away in my
pretty
sinking
ship.
i hope on my way.
i don't trip.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> lobotomy in q
puck
___________________________________________________________
Every breath
splashes another
puddle of Blue rhapsody
(Ny
Quil)
onto my brain.
I hang in my desk like
a Felix clock,
swinging my eyes
left and right
smearing and streaking
the people around me
whose
faces are flapping like happy
puppets on a Christ-
ian kiddie show but
their voices just gush like mustard
from their lips
leaving thick
yellow puddles at their feet
And I know that a bell must be ringing
somewhere
because everybody's speeding up,
like when the light turns yellow
and you're
just
past
the
point
of
no return.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> combustion lente
eerie & evol
___________________________________________________________
miles of bad road
apoplexy of a bludgeoned country
ulegies for a zip code
you lay next to me & i can't
figure out what to do first.
the last feedback is reechoing in your destroyed voice
SCREECH EECH EECH EECH EECH
i whisper an explosion
into your ..
EECH
wake up
highway's ending here
concrete is not solid now
bland or blank
case
of unpractical chaotic mines
geographic monstrosities
& other chemical reactions
due to
bad
sex
i could try
yeah, i guess i could try to shout
OUT
OUT
I AM NOT HERE
her attention was never soundproof
i shake her like a cage
to be escaped
but not to be escaped
to want to be escaped only
to be further contained
into her noise
too big to be amplified anymore
it has reached the state where .. ah-choo! God bless
[ us all,
if you wanted
.. shame on them
i could try to weep
but it's impossible
'cause she's sticking in my landscape
yellow blanket
cornering my brain without being able to exit
her humid body
my temperature drops for her
i pick the leaves out of her tangled hair,
then she answers
speaking a language i could hardly understand:
the hemoglobin dropping from her mouth
serves as a
translation
we won't go anywhere
i want her to stay
blocking my driveway
as if my road had to be repaired
i bought a guppie
named it after her
fed it thirteen times a day
then flushed fatter than
could ever have been natural
for a glutton of any known species
side-ordering for the 1000th time
i'm getting tired of eating the same meal
but
i still want to force myself to watch her at 3am
like some bad after-hours flick
where you find yourself
appreciating the commercial breaks
because you know the commercials
i forsake my own necessary recharge
to witness her in her dream state
while i think of deadly pillowfights
every twenty minutes she sleepwalks right out
the door
i chase her in my underwear
past the mailbox
lure her back in
with love
& attention
two things no girl
can refuse
& that is how
you spot them
i remember when i first saw her
it was in a shopping mall
full of men
& she was thin
carved into marble
cold yet
statuesque
& disguised thinking she could pass
as one of us
her radiations were intense
she was below & over
& into
so i grabbed a megaphone
& i said, "you're beautiful!"
& she was the only one
who didn't know how not
to turn around
DETOUR
attacking, i lose my only defense
soundproof skin, her vital organs,
showing up as evidence
plastered on all of my personalized bathtowels,
have no idea what i will wish on them
SWEET IMPALED FLESH
you are the only corridor we have
like forkholing a potato
before you bake it
so it will not
explode
i'm searching you
for your vital signs
DETOUR!
i take your compact
from the bathroom
stick it under your nose, you flinch
before i see your breath fog the glass
at last
you can hear me
i stick candles on your head &
make a wish
& you take it & set
fire to my tires
& the smell is even louder
than the last big silence we shared
bring me back in your bed
tired of outside's blatant colors
bring me back i don't know where
don't moan anymore
an explosion is the softest response
& most of us won't
detect it
i love you
means i reclothe
the loathing
reclothe you
i strike a match
it burns out
i dictate this experience to
your open skin so that you might,
i hope, awake, informed that some things are
ephemeral
maybe agonizing
maybe they do have pain
i have no idea
i don't touch those things anymore
i leave them to the wind,
whatever erodes them
is fine with me
your body shifts itself
perhaps to remind me that it isn't mine
so next i will remove my mouth
from your stomach
& cross your right leg back over the left one
bring me back in your arms
human blade
so i can still believe i am innocent
so i can proceed to ignorantly invade you
so i can still believe i am
eternal
& very
very blessed,
amen
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> tommy can throw a ball, but susie likes cakes
puck
___________________________________________________________
One summer morn, as I was gathering nuts,
My stomach opened up and spat my guts
Upon the dew-dropped, shimmering blades of green,
(Oh noble blades, in such a gory scene!)
A moment held me stunned, I felt my head
Get heavy from the sight of so much red
Upon the grass. And then I questioned why
My guts were quickly rolling down my thigh,
Instead of resting quietly where they ought,
Inside my stomach, rolled up nice and taut.
"Alas," thought I, "I ve done some dirty deed,
One dripping with the impetus of greed,
And God is demonstrating Glory's hand
By scattering my guts upon the land!"
So on my knees I prayed unto the Lord,
To free me from whatever sin I'd scored
In hopes that by the time I said "Amen"
My guts would be where they belong again.
But sadly, while I prayed I also bled.
Before "Amen" was uttered, I fell dead.
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> cyclic
teletype
___________________________________________________________
drop
from heavens high
fall
from cloudy sky
once wide
open
free
now heavy
altered
anew
i seek you
to know your pain
endless circuit
to be you
i taste you
you become me
lifeless life giver
enraged destroyer
torrential uprising
muddied sky
sun is gone
night painted on
i reach to the moon
the end is coming
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
>> beaster
eerie
___________________________________________________________
wired
hooked
ahead & upward
until the headache throbs
until you run out of
symbols
until you stop minding the stale air, cake mate
& baby you said something
along the lines of
i-don't-want-to
& now the breeze
slaps no face
but mine
well, mind you, that's what keeps
on occuring
noise
silence
noise
silence
oscillator, cheap blow jobs
recurring
damn straight to nothingness, babything
that's what we're headed for
we're food for chaos
small packages
easy to open
hard to swallow
with absolutely no
nutritional value
& i'm not sane enough
to pretend i'm insane
tv is on
but all we get is garbage
you keep on mentioning
beauty
& you should know
that to me
it does mean
something
decyphering all your world, baby,
is a bitch
& you sure don't help
don't you know
you can't fuck with
bodiless souls?
just what i needed - another angel
wired
hooked
the books tell me
i'm probably mad
well, there, screw it
baby
they're right
i failed &
i'm mad
wired hooked
ketamine
blind shatter
more sex
more dope
more, more, more
as long as it
matters
____________________________________________________________________________
##########################################################################
"the beads will swing
the clouds will cloud
and the killer will behead the child
like taking a bite out of an ice cream cone."
- charles bukowski
bondage #1 contributors -
eerie, evol, mister e, mogel, puck, spinsane, & teletype
bondage is edited by eerie & released whenever.
please direct all correspondance & submissions to
doomed@voicenet.com.
www homepage - http://www.voicenet.com/~doomed/va
to suscribe to the dto/violent animation mailing list,
email doomed@voicenet.com with the body of the message
saying something along the lines of "i want your
firstborn". ("subscribe bondage" will work, too.)
& while you're at it, subscribe to the worldlit mailing
list by emailing worldlit@wizy.uit.net with the body of
the message saying "subscribe worldlit <your_nick>".
-----------------------------------------------------------
current violent animation releases -
dage-001.txt - bondage one, the debut issue
-----------------------------------------------------------
bondage one (c) 1996, violent animation industries,
a subsidiary of doomed to obscurity (dto) productions,
po box 2257, philadelphia, pa 19103.