💾 Archived View for clemat.is › saccophore › library › ezines › textfiles › ezines › ANADA › anada27… captured on 2021-12-03 at 14:04:38.
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' '
' anada "First Contact" 02 feb '
' 277 by Michael 2001 '
` `
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never once approached another. not that never had that interaction;
twice to be exact.
situations never went normally though. always sort of known first.
no chance of failure (who could ask for more?). especially the second.
innermost secrets known ahead of time. made the experience easy and
acting upon even easier. awkwardness still abound though.
first planned encounter with second actually paired with first and
firsts new third if that makes sense. first and me talked too much. inside
jokes streaming. unfortunate to be the other two at that time. not that
either wants back; me or the first i mean. only connected closely forever.
couldn�t let all of high school plus two years be a total waste. probably
messed me up more than ever imagined though. not sad about the loss. the
muddled part spoken of is interaction with the opposite sex.
since all of high school gone, never could hone those skills. so
now, longing and looking a major part of life. (luckily pickiness narrows
down; only saw two or three others so far) not only longing and looking, but
actually making up lives for them because attractiveness or more like
attention getting (getting my attention) isn�t even half the battle. and if
i can justify the outward shortcomings somehow, will make it easier; easier
for me not to talk to them anyway. outward shortcomings = wearing band t-
shirts (not that i don�t like bands, just not fishing--may elaborate on
fishing later) or bad shoes i guess. (oh the flame-shoe girl... she will
live infamous, so kawaii though, and probably came closest to her made up
life likened to her real. almost stalker-like, not really though.).
anyway, life�s not that bad without that aspect. though just wish
wouldn�t be face-shoved so much. everywhere and everyone around trying so
hard. from here, think shouldn�t try so hard. trying hard probably makes
things fake. or maybe not. could be the problem. try. i�m not trying, so
will never happen. would like to believe otherwise though. allow to occur
on own.
internal struggles continue. probably apparent though. each side
winning minor battles though. on the one side, never approached anyone. on
the other side, the blimpie coupon stays on my person... (guess more
elaboration necessary for blimpie coupon)
front back
----- ----
buy one get one free hi,
you may not know me,
bring a friend to blimpie but i�m ________________.
i�m wondering if you�d like to have a sub
it�s a beautiful thing. sandwich at blimpie with me?
(hearts everywhere) __ yes, i�d love to join you for a sub sadwich
at blimpie. (as long as you pay for yours.)
__ no, i�ll buy my own blimpie sub, thank you very
much.
very well known it�s a poor hope, but a hope nonetheless.
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' '
` anada277 by Michael (c) 2001 anada e'zine `