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210618

That festival was one of the most profound weekends of my life. I've been thinking about how to explain exactly what went down, and there's just far too much to say. But here's what I got for now.

I think part of the point is that bass music fits right into that space of human thought that words cannot at all capture. Visual art lives in that space too, and dance etc. I think really good science lives there too; it's not about what you see, it's about how you _conceptualize_ what you see, the patterns and logic of _why_ some effect fits well into how the world as a whole works. Like at one of my favorite shows ever (Ganja White Night at Aragon Ballroom in Chicago, just me, my girlfriend-at-the-time Nikita, and like 4 tabs between us) some really glitched-out drop happened and I suddenly had this vivid picture in my head of the symmetries of overlapping electrons in some inorganic complex—–stunning, I tell you. I had just taken my inorganic final the day before, but it had never really _clicked_ for me until that moment.

Similar mystical acid/bass magic happened at this festival like several times. Nothing quite as nerd-tastic, but much more important to my life. During Supertask (probably the set I was most excited for, had never seen him live) I wandered up into the pit and while getting absolutely smushed by bass, I had this overwhelming vision of me metaphorically stepping out of my own way.

Sometimes I hold myself back; I know that, and that's something I can easily put into words. From smoking weed at irresponsible times to overthinking my most bullshit experiments to picturing my happy life with someone I matched with on hinge and leaving my fridge absolutely barren for weeks. But in that moment, with Supertask absolutely destroying me with volume, it finally _clicked_ for me that I can just.... step out of my own way. And the whole point is I can't put into words exactly _how_ to do it. But suddenly, I myself knew how, for a moment at least. I put my hands up and SCREAMED!!! The people around me SCREAMED back. I freaking love bass music and I love the people who love it too!

Everyone needs to stop what they're doing and listen to Temptation - Of The Trees feat. Supertask right fukin now. I'll do it too

I can't possibly even think about this festival without thinking about that Truth set, Sunday night. I haven't felt that much bass running through my whole body since the last time I saw Bassnectar––he's cancelled now, and also it was totally a cult, and I loved every second I was a cult member, and I miss it dearly. It's impossible to think about anything besides the music when you're in an environment like that, just so LOUD! You and all the people around you are entirely locked in on exactly the same experience. You don't know them well, but for a few songs at least, maybe even a few sets, you can share such deep empathy! Really brings up my love for humans, ya know.

It sounds silly, but I didn't think any other concert could get as loud as a Bassnectar show, make me feel like the air is being sucked out of my lungs and my body is being lifted up by my forehead. Truth did that, though. Supertask did too, and some other acts. Just because my cult is gone doesn't mean my spirituality is dead––I'll always have that as long as guitar center sells subwoofers.

To answer my question from the last post, it turns out I'm a lot of fun both when I'm binging on drugs, and when I'm not! Slowly becoming more comfortable with the idea that being a biophysicist is a cool thing and not a nerdy quirk that I should hide like a snaggletooth in my otherwise cool-as-a-cucumber persona. And that feels good! It feels like I'm realizing I already have more going for me than I fully understand.

Quick flex, I made it through to the sunrise set all 3 nights!!! Ternion Sound had the whole festival going nuts at 7am, just stomper after dubstep stomper, it was awe-inspiring. So very inspiring that I put together a set of bangers for our upcoming Darty, gonna blow some minds. Maybe one day I can help people have some of those profound bass experiences that have made such an impact in my own life. Who knows, maybe I'll even become a DJ cult leader!

210604

Well this is already fun!

Hi everyone! Miss you

Short bio: I live in Oakland with my 3 quarantine buddies and a whole bunch of speakers. I'm in grad school studying what happens when a wiggly protein (technical term: intrinsically disordered protein, IDP) binds to another protein while remaining dramatically wiggly, a process called fuzzy binding (yes, technical term). Aside from wiggly proteins and about 8 people, I'm also obsessed with bass music

More about that now: I'm going to a music fest this weekend oh wow! Is covid over? Idk but I've been sipping Moderna all week so whatever. Music goes till sunrise every day which is absolutely terrifying to me. If I was a few years younger, this would not terrify me but instead inspire a meticulously-planned binge of like 6 different non-interacting psychedelics and such. But now, I'm supposed to think really hard for a living or whatever, so I'm staring down the barrel of a sleepless weekend without the fractal-induced insomnia I usually depend on. Am I less fun when I'm not binging drugs? Let's find out!

Oh well, just gonna try it. Goal #1 is don't lose it. Goal #2 is to meet someone from Ternion Sound. Let's get it!