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generator: pandoc
title: 'october-check-in'
viewport: 'width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, user-scalable=yes'
---
+++ title = "October Check In" date = "2018-10-12T08:07:27Z" +++
So the last month for me has been terrible. Again. I was employed as a
mechanic at a very large workshop here in Sydney, starting two days
after I returned from Perth after being hospitalised there.
The workshop was tough to work in. I felt anxious for the exact same
reason as I did at the workshop I was in in April. People kept telling
me that I was okay to make mistakes, but frequently, nobody could
tolerate them.
I think also there was a strong subtext that people thought I was a
know-it-all and wanted to show off how intelligent I was all the time.
Eventually the anxiety that I suffered with day in, day out became too
much for me and I had to quit on Wednesday.
Now I am unemployed, and I need to find a job. There is a possibility
that I may have to go back to my hometown of Perth if I can't find a job
and the bills here in Sydney between Charmaine and myself pile up too
much.
But I have already had some online interviews, and I am positive I may
get a job. I think I will perhaps go back to university and study
computer science. I think this may require me to file a leave of absence
on my philosophy PhD.