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generator: pandoc
title: '2009-02-28-bruising'
viewport: 'width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0, user-scalable=yes'
---
I recently got a bookcase for my bedroom. It's
very tall, and it's made of a very deep, dark-coloured wood. It was made
in Indonesia and if you look carefully you can find all the nails
holding it together poking out here and there. I put all my books in it,
and on the bottom level I keep my vinyl records, and in the top corner I
hide a black book.\
\
.\
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I'm deadly scared of the things I wrote in there once, and if I think
about it, or I go near it, the past comes back to haunt me, and I'm
forced to deal with problems that I desperately want to avoid. I muse
that the black book infects objects that lay near it. I recently wrote
something into my battered old blue diary from year 12 that had been a
couple of books from the top corner, and the curse was provoked and
solved the problem I had divulged to the pages of September 13 and 14
with brutal irony.\
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.\
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I've got to do something to find some peace, I feel like a ghost just
going through the motions of living - and have been for some months now.
Faces, places, names, thoughts, feelings, I really hate bringing this
kind of attention to myself but I honestly feel sick. There has to be
some kind of potent drug one can take to give relief for irrational
anxiety.\
\
.\
\
Come on Wordpress. Commiserate with me.