💾 Archived View for tilde.pink › ~kaction › log › 2020-11-05.1.gmi captured on 2020-11-07 at 01:37:45. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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I just came home from my $dayjob. There is nothing to be proud about it. Backend developer, man behind the disgusting curtain of Web-2.0: javascript, React, analytics. What is good is that the only users of that abomination are businessmen; I do not care about suits, so I do not feel guilt either. People like myself will never be affected by my job.
Personally, at least. I have not decided yet whether banking is good thing. I have some degree of mistrust in businesses that do not involve creating of goods, but neither do education. Well, let's skip it for now.
What I am concerned is that $dayjob gives me stronger illusion of purpose than
my evening musings with computers do.
At $dayjob I can show-off before another senior developer, fix stuff for people who can't do it themself, design solutions that would last. Ultimately, the only outcome of my contributions is that company making more money; there are no useful by-products whatsoever. Yet, they need my work, they rely on me, and it is warm feeling.
What do I do behind the computer at home? Sometimes I hone my skills with technologies I consider worthy, sometimes I hone my "configuration.nix", yet often, too often, I can't force myself to do anything.
Back then, in Debian, the main driving force for me was determination to not let Veteran Unix Admins down. I failed. I failed, and now I have no duty to protect that would drive me forward. There are a lot of projects that would benefit from extra keyboard, yet they do not /need/ me.
It is wrong. It is wrong that I feel more at home at $dayjob than in Free Software community. Jedi, err, hacker is dying. Or died?