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If you like this kind of article, written by this author, she did it for Updike too:
https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v41/n19/patricia-lockwood/ma...
Florence King was briefer in the essay "Phallus in Wonderland": "Updike's style is an exquisite blend of Melville and Austen: reading him is like cutting through whale blubber with embroidery scissors." (_Poorhouse Fair_) Or "Having read detailed descriptions of approximately six bushels of pubic hair, nameless forces drove me to go seeking and questing through my kitchen drawer to gather up all the Twisties I've saved and arrange them by color."
> I was hired as an assassin. You don’t bring in a 37-year-old woman to review John Updike in the year of our Lord 2019 unless you’re hoping to see blood on the ceiling.
I'm hooked already.
I'm 12 years old and what is this?
It is a book review
Maybe it’s me, but Nabokov becomes increasingly cringeworthy as I get older.
Could you tell us more?
This happened only with Nabokov or other writers became cringeworthy too?
Just him. It’s a mixture of his alliterate precious prose, narcissism, and droll humor that rarely makes me laugh.
Most interesting, and I suppose I'll get a copy. Thanks for posting this, and particularly the paywall bypass.