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-                               Driving Fun I                                -
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-                    By The Blade and The High Lord Satan                    -
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-         A Neon Knight/Metal Communications/Black Metal Presentation        -
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The Neon fuckups are back, and raising Hell if a different way, with a very
deadly tool if used in the right manner, the age old automobile.  Well Henery
(Ford that is), you've made another pastime for us to perfect, Death and 
Destruction by automobile.  So lets go see what things the Blade does with
his car (its a Jap Datsun pickup w/11 inch body/spring lift and 36 inch
off-roader tires, great for running over/hitting things).

One thing thats great fun is on Halloween (when everybody does it) get all
your friends together who have pickups, get 5 or 10 people in the back with
eggs and have a all out war against each other, and hit the stupid little kids
who are trying to have to good time trick or treating, run em' over, and take
their candy.  Hit houses, take out the mailboxes with baseball bats, and
ruin your paint job at the same time.  Last Halloween, I got pulled over
by the pigs, they said I had 4 seperate complaints on my truck for harassment,
destruction on property, you fuckin name it.  The funniest thing was that
one of my friends in the back of my truck hit the councilman's daughter in
the face with an egg, that was funny.  I bullshitted with the cop and the
fuckin councilman for an hour then they dropped all charges and let me go home
to mommy and daddy.  What dumasses, cops are stupid.

O, I live in an 99 percent WASP/R. Catolitic community, so you could say some
of us are narrow minded when it comes to certain things, such as Black people,
spics, jews, mormans, ricans, and other ignorant groups.  Well there's a town
not too far away called Mo-town, witch is about 60 percent black, and 59 outa
that 60 are ignorant and have jobs that pay 2.65 an hour (sorta like deaf and
umb people).  Well, I did this a couple times, and its fuckin fun as hell,
it's call Nigger Polo.  You need a pickup, 6 guys in back, 6 baseball bats,
and a shotgun (in case you get mobbed by 200 of em).  Drive down the street, 
and yell slurs like 'Hey niggeas, i gots sum watamelen heres for ya'  or
'my granddady fuckin owned ya' fatah'  that shit gets em' pissed and chasin,
so when they get near the truck, try to crush their skull, or take off their
noses in one swing.  But this game isn't all fun, if you drop your bat, you
gotta go get it, its a bitch trying to get a bat when 30 nigs are beteen you
and it.

Its garbage day, and all dose nice rubbermaid and galvinized steel cans are
just waiting to be run over.  Some of you people can't do this cause it'll
fuck up your undercarrige of your auto, but if you have a nigger machine like
me, its a fielday.  Its a riot to see flattened cans all up and down the 
street, with used tampons scattered across the road.

Remeber when you were an ass and rode your bike around town, and people would
honk at you, throw things at you, and sometimes run you off the road.
One thing good about my truck, it has air horns, which you can hear 2 miles
away.  Its funny when you blow the horn at bikers and they fuckin freak out and
crash.  The most memoriable time was when some guy was riding across this
small bridige, I fuckin' hit the horn, the bike hit the guardrail on the 
bridge, the handlebars got wedged inbetween the rails, it filpped him over
he rail, into the river, I fuckin could'nt stay on the road cause i was
laughin so hard.  I wonder what ever happend to him...


Big wheels are a great advantage in ripping up people's lawns.  When they are
home is the funniest, just take off your plates and your set for destruction.
Thow the baby in first and cut the wheel, plow time!  shit, the lawn in now
a plowed plain.  They call the cops, but you're 4 wheelin and long gone...


This part takes guts, but if you are fucked in the head, you don't care when
others die.  The famous phrase 'Hit and Run' well describes this activity,
but instead of running, fuckin spin!  Old people are the easiest target cause
they don't move very fast, and they die the quickest.  My old friend (who is
now in jail) and I went out one night to the city.  We got sloshed and drove
around (In New York City, they can't tell when you are fucked up, cause no
one knows how to drive anyway) and went to Brooklyn, where alot of old fucks
live, some old lady was waiting to cross the street, is was some side street
and it was around 11 p.m., well, nobody was in sight, so we waived her to 
cross in front of us, she was all happy, untill Joe(to not mention names)
floored it and creamed her, it ???2???????????????????J??????????????5?
on the side of the road, we took off and drank some more...


Highway/Freeway/Turnpike driving can get very boring at times because there
is not much to look at, and you do one steady speed, like 70 or 80 mph.
Well, if you have an car that does'nt handle very well at high speeds, 
then take it out on other people, get into the fast lane, and go 55.
This pisses people off majorly, and when they try to pass on the right, 
pull over into that lane, as long as you don't break the speed limit, 
you can't get in trouble.  It's one way to make hiway driving fun.


Well, im getting tired, and in a few more months there will be new experiences
to write about, so look for driving fun // somewhere near you.

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I'm in no way responsible for anything that the end person kills, destroys,
pillages, rapes, hurts, or burns.  Its your life do what you want, I am.

Call these:

The Metal Ae         pw-KILL         1200 only/4drives           201-879-6668
The Metalworks Ae    pw-RAPE         1200/2 drives               313-663-8103
Metalland One         (ind)          300/202 10meg AE/BBS/FUR    503-538-0761
Manyways BBS          (ind)          300/202 10meg AE/BBS/FUR    609-921-1994
Treasure Island Ae   pw-RUSH         1200 only/8 drives          414-547-2805


Of course thanks to:

Killer Kurt, Zandar Zan, The Metallian, Jolly*Roger, The Outland, Datsun, 
Dick Cepek, White Knight, Metal Bastard, Master of Reality, Exodus, King
Diamond, and my friend in jail.


Written on April 1, 1986                             (C)1986 The Neon Knights
No part of this file may be published in any form of mass media, such as 
Newspapers, Magizines, or T.V. without written consent from The Neon Knights.

   
                        See you in HELL!!!!!!