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INTRODUCTION
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, I felt this file was worthy only of release by the All Mighty Cult
of the Dead Cow. I hope to discuss and point out some of the many wonderful
and quite different aspects of the human equation. Among other things I will
talk about females, and the passenger seat of the car... and anything else
which has always interested me. If you feel that any of my views on these
subjects are wrong, well then tough luck, I really don't give a shit what you
think! Haha. As for a disclaimer, I really don't think it would be appro-
priate on this file since for once in my life I'm not really discussing
anything illegal (wow, what a change of pace... next thing you know, I'll be
attending church!). I hope you like the file, I really got a kick out of
writing it. Enjoy.
CARS IN GENERAL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, lets talk about some of those unsolved mysteries that exist in and
around cars. First off, have you ever thought about the massive power that
rests in the passenger seat of a car? People will literally fight for this
coveted seat of honor in the car, lovingly referred to as "shotgun." The
fruits of such a victory are immense... why, you have full control over the
radio! Or any other environmental controls up there... What POWER.
Next, how about the never-ending list of people who have shitty cars and
think they are awesome. Is there some sort of intoxicating factor contained in
Pintos and other classic shit cars? Why, I can even remember a Pinto
stationwagn, and you'll need to close your eyes and try hard to imagine this,
white paint job with pink detailing (gag!), Momo rims, and like a shitty MTX
system in it. Lame cars attract lame stereo equipment, and lame paint jobs. I
can't explain why, but for some reason they just seem to.
LOSERS IN GENERAL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hell, I always have gotten a kick out of losers. No one can possibly act
so stupid and think they're sooo cool as a loser. It's always fun to listen to
these people make plans, and then never follow through, or if they do they fail
miserably and it's always funny to find out how.
I always try to keep a couple losers around to make all those rainy days
more interesting, by making them slave labor to my every whim. Loser is as
loser does, they worship you like the god you are. Hehe... they also tend to
try to pattern themselves after you as much as possible, and if you're like
cleaning your house out, they will come and take everything you throw out, as
if it will help to raise them to your level. Now don't get me wrong, there are
some cool losers, but for the most part the above is the case in dealing with
them.
MUSIC OVERVIEW
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I must point out what type of music I listen to, since there seems to be
some sort of massive misunderstanding about this awesome form of music. It's
called Industrial and is comprised of real hard-edge sounds and hardcore
analogs, with heavily distorted vocals (for the most part). Bands like Front
242, Frontline Assembly, Skinny Puppy, and Nine Inch Nails are just a few that
are in this class of music. Next time you're in a music store, do yourself a
favor and rip off a CD or two, or better yet, card 'em... There ARE mailorder
CD companies! I myself hate metal and rock, as well as country (who doesn't).
But I must admit that I can name a couple of Pop songs that I enjoy. I do
enjoy Modern, House, Acid House, and some of the more dancey styles, although I
hate Rap, it just doesn't do anything for me. Anyways, enough of this, on with
the point.
My point is the fact that many metal heads don't like groups like Nine
Inch Nails, which are a lot harder then most of the metal bands, and why is
this? Well because it's "Industrial," and they don't like that. Well, that's
sort of bullshit, although I sometimes find myself falling into this myself
(just the other day I told someone that I like everything except anything with
acoustic instruments in it. Although this is true for the most part, it's a
pretty bad exaggeration). I also get a kick out of when someone who likes a
group like Front 242 or Nine Inch Nails says they don't like dance music, since
both of these groups (like most) have put out dance tracks (Headhunter, Down in
It, etc...). If you can find any Acid House, that is usually VERY hardcore
Analog sounding, and very dancey, which is cool as far as I'm concerned (groups
like Lords of Acid and Erotic Dissidents). And as far as most music, there are
a lot of cross-over styles, like 2-Live Crew's 'Fuck Shop' uses the guitar from
Bon Jovi (and I think the song sounds a HELL of a lot better than the Bon Jovi
version), or Marky-Mark and the Funky Bunch's MTV hell-tune has a real housey
sound to it although it's mainly rap. All my point being is that we shouldn't
break ourselves into classifications in music, since it's sooo damn broad and
overlapping.
GIRLS IN GENERAL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was watching some comedian, and he described a guy's real position in a
girl's mind perfectly:
BOYFRIEND - CREDIT CARD HOLDER
FIANCE' - GOLD CARD HOLDER
HUSBAND - CHAPTER 11
Hahaha, I got a kick out of that, since it's sooo damn true. Which brings
us to the first level of girls and the bullshit surrounding them, namely greed.
If you find a girl that is not driven by greed, fuck her and keep her
forever, but if you are like most of us and get girls that are greedy
pieces-of-shit that leech off you worse than the best loser then you have to
watch out. They all act the same, by saying shit like, "I don't care if we
don't do anything, as long as we're together." Of course, her definition of
"together" isn't what I would like to think, unless you wine and dine the
bitch. If you spend a small fortune on her she'll suck and fuck you as much as
you want, and then it's over, she thinks since you dipped the wick that you owe
her something. Well, lemme tell you, you don't owe her shit.
Another thing to NEVER do is trust a girl. They are almost always the
most deceitful pieces-of-shit around. If they weren't good for fucking I'd
kill all of the damn bitches. I made the mistake once of trusting a girl in a
scam, and I just barely got my ass out of getting busted. Here's how vengeful
a bitch can be. She turned herself in just to try and bust me... Although,
since men are and will always be smarter than most girls, I fucking tricked her
sorry ass and she went to jail, not me. Hahaha dumb bitch.
GIRLS AND MUSIC
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahh, no human in the world will be more evasive then a girl on the subject
of music. If she likes you, and you just met her you will NEVER get a straight
answer out of her on this subject. Here is the typical conversation:
BOY : "So tell me Girl, what kind of music are you into?"
GIRL: "Oh, I don't know, all kinds..."
BOY : "Well, you mean you don't have a favorite type?"
GIRL: "Oh, I don't like country music, but other than that I like everything
else."
BOY : [mutters 'ya, right'] "Well, what are some of your favorite bands then?"
GIRL: "I don't really have any, I just listen to whatever is on the radio."
BOY : [last ditch attempt.] "What radio station do you listen to?"
GIRL: "Oh, I don't know, I just sorta scan around."
Oh fuck, what a worthless conversation. If you go to the chick's house it
turns out she only like George Michael and MC Hammer or some shit like that,
but of course she doesn't tell you this.
The real clincher here is the fact that if you ever get into a fight,
she'll pull this shit in, by saying something like, "Well, you never liked the
same music as me!"
Just finish the bitch and say "Well, you fucking said you liked everything
except country, and let me tell you something bitch, that wasn't country!".
Something to note: unless she actually does have some personality and does
answer truthfully, or she doesn't like you, she will answer almost verbatim
like above.
Another good worthless thing to do to test a bitch for uselessness is to
make up a band and tell her you're in it. Ten to one she'll say something
totally stupid like "Oh, I think I've heard some of your stuff and really liked
it!" Ya, right. You can call yourself something completely off the wall and
she'll think she's heard of you... like Cult of the Dead Cow... ha.
ARCHITECTURE
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's just a quick note on one of the strangest phenomena's in the world
as we know it today. One of the oldest and most rigid organizations ALWAYS
have the weirdest looking buildings... Churches. Have you ever noticed, if the
building is really weird in design, it's almost always either a sculpture, a
church or some church-oriented group. God only knows (no pun intended) why
this is the case, nor do I think anyone ever truly will.
QSD AND LOSERS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Holy shit, this place is lame. If you don't know what I'm talking about
just skip this and count yourself lucky! This is user-hell, loser-heaven. You
call up this once-descent chat system, which is now infected with K-Rad Elite
Wares dudes and 2-bit hack/phreak "gods"... I regret the day I first called
this place! The people on here are the scum of the modem world, what you were
when you first bought you computer (Obviously you improved, or you wouldn't be
reading my file (because chances are you couldn't read worth shit)). I don't
want to spend any more time on them, they are lame and take my advice and NEVER
CALL.
CONCLUSION
~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that about wraps it up... I hope it has helped you gain more insight
into yourself and others, and maybe realize that the world is really a fucked
up place and that there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Then again,
was there ever anything you could, or any indication that it change on its own?
Ah, but life is still wonderful, right? Anyways, I really don't need to greet
anyone in this file, since how the hell could they help anyways, so forget it.
If you have any awesome comments concerning this work of art, then please leave
them to me wherever, or maybe if you know some strange occurrences as well,
then tell me so I can enlighten the world into the unknown. Until next we
meet...
Who really gives a shit anyways?
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.ooM |1993 cDc communications by Video Vindicator 01/01/93-#204|
\_______/|All Rights Drooled Away. SIX GLORIOUS YEARS of cDc|