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Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 8 Num. 40
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("Quid coniuratio est?")
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MEMO: FROM GUNS & GOLD HEADQUARTERS
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Reports from our agents in the field indicate that sales of guns
and ammunition are slipping. The gold and silver coin sales are
also down. We need to boost sales in both areas.
Strategy: Pump up hysteria by spreading wild rumors about
Russian submarines within the 12-mile coastal limit of the U.S.
Latch onto true stories of federal stupidity and arrogance, then
concoct fanciful tales apt to be believed by "satire deficient"
readers. Get field agents to push "we are being invaded" and
"martial law imminent" type legends, as per usual during the hot
July sales season. Rely on some credentialed spokesman to give
"credibility" needed by authority-demanding consumers who must
have some "father figure" available before they can feel
comfortable. In this regard, suggest possibly a military-type
chaplain; provide him as per usual the standard $100,000 "lecture
fee" and/or "charitable donation". Also, with Olympics taking
place and obvious consequence of foreigners on U.S. soil, concoct
some sort of "foreign invasion of Atlanta" type story.
Implementation: Give hysteria average 4 to 7 days to ferment,
then have our gun dealers canvass their assigned territories and
reap the reward in highly profitable sales. Also send out gold
and silver dealers to get their "piece of the action" from
agitated and fearful Americans.
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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt.
Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et
pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9