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File : SPH-6.TXT
Author : Bat Bastard
BBS : The Banana Republic BBS
SPHEROIDS PART VI
INTERLUDE:
The neutrino generated thought fought it's way through Tilly's cerebral
cortex, colliding onthe way with a requast from her bladder for a trip to the
lavatory, and a subconcious desire to 'have' the paper boy, and emerged
(almost) unscathed, in the her left lobe. "Of course!" she said to her self,
marveling at her own mental prowess, "TV time!". She went back into the lounge,
to view her favourite televisual entertainment. Her luck held, and mummy hadn't
pawned the TV (before her unfortunate demise) "Pawn...Porn...." mused Tilly,
the vaugest glimmerings of a pun shimmering at the edge of conciousness (She
really was in tip-top form today) , but the effort was to much, so she turned
on the TV ( The TV had been 'liberated' from a queen street store by Mummy, a
year or three back, during the so-called "Queen Street riot". She (mummy) had
taken exception to Dave Dobyns artistic interpretation of the old beatles
number 'Happiness is a warm Bum', and had responded by flinging a (
regrettabbly full) can of beer at him. She missed hit a policeman, who blamed
the "unruly minority" and attempted a mass arrest... And that's how it
happened, kids!)
The TV blared with a Plasti-pop theme, familiar to the entire nation. The
picture came into focus, forming the title "El Prez Prezzents....."
As Tilly scanned the floor for an place free of beer cans, where she could
sit, She pondered upon the strange career of this multy-media personality,
this, this mysterious fellow known only as 'El Prez' , or LP, as the popular
press dubbed him. He had first come to the for half a decade or less ago, when
he had been prosecuted for stamp forgery . He dazzled the Court with his wit,
saying that the Post office should be grateful because 'Imitation is the
sincerest form of philately', and was aquitted when the prosecutions chief
witness slipped on a banana skin before testifying, and lost the use of his
limbs ( and mouth, and body). He made his fortune , when the government sold
off radio and TV frequencies. He claimed ( succesfully , after another law
suit) that if the goverment could sell off the radio regiom of the
electromagnetic spectrum, then he could purchase part of the visual region.
With the damages awarded to him, he purcased the colour green, and made a
fortune on the royalties payable to him by any person who 'saw , used or in
and other way observed' this colour. By this stage he had become a cult hero,
and, cashing in on his popularity, release an album, 'The LP LP', which was
enormously popular. He toured the world with a backing band ( and an old black
person , who everyone thought was dead, for some (little needed ) street
cred)) and cleaned up. His follow up single "Twelve inches of El Prez" had the
good fortune to be prosecuted for obscenety ( successfully, LP made sure), and
his future was assured. He now hosted a weekly variety show, just so as to keep
in the publis eye, whilst he dreamt up his next scheme. 'Whose on this week?'
thought Tilly, hoping was it 'Sickee Wifebeater', her favourite muso singing
'Speak English or Die'. No such luck . He appeared to be singing a duet
with that fellow who was on 'Mr Twirly' when mummy died, whilst the remants
of Shriekback sang backing, in a last ditch bid for popularity, before they
succumbed to the forces of mammon (i.e Stock Atkien Waterman).
His favourite colour was yellow.
'Boring' thought Tilly. before she could reach for the off switch, there was a
bang, the like of which you hear when someone lights a match in a backed bean
testing factory.....
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AUTHOR : Bat Bastard
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Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS
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