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File : SPH3.TXT
Author : Bat Bastard
BBS : The Banana Republic BBS
About lunhtime, Lacey's thoughts turned to rice risotto. From she had heard
, rice risotto was blow the backside off a concrete elephant, so it should
suffice to do away with mummy. "But how do I get some Rice Risotto?",
she whined."How do you get blotto?" erplied Tilly. "simple. Mix 3/4 of a
bottle of Jeyes fluid with a quart of turps. and quaff. And make sure you stay
downwind of me." "RICE RISOTTO!" squeaked Lacy. "Oh, that, " said Tilly
"Killying someone , are you... o! of course, mater dearest.Well.....you'll
have to steal it of course" Sometime Tilly wondered who wore the trousers in
this family.
Lacy made her way to the local shops. She stopped at the door. "Singhs
greengrocery and meditation emporium" Looked promising. "Have you any Rice
Risotoo?" she asked the swarthy looking gentleman at the counter, a man
who, if the truth were to be known, used a thesaurus when oing crossword
puzzles. "Ah, want to kill some one do you ?" replied the man, with a grin
that would shame a appliance shop."No, he continue, but I got something
better, its a new product line I'm trialling for Johnson & Johnson. Its called
"Special, guarenteed to kill an elephant stone dead, true John, would I tell a
lie to you, I mean this stuff is lethal, letahl/ Its so lethal it killed 6 men
before we packaged it Rat poison'"
'What, ' queried Lacy "Special, guarenteed to kill an elephant stone
dead,lethal,lethal? its so lethal if killed 5 men before we packaged it rat
poison.?" No, replied the man (who, Lacy noticed, had a perculiar species of
fungus growing between his toes. She considerd calling David Attenborough, but
thought the better of it)"Special guarenteed to kill an elephant stone dead,
true John, would I tella lie to you.Lethal, lethal?its so lethal it killed 6
men befor we packaged it rat poison".
"I'll take it'" said lacy, with visions of swastikas in her eyes.
"that'll be $3.50" said the man, who was begining to doubt the moral validity
of the freemarket economy, and would, that afternoon, sell all his worldly
chattels in an ttempt to follow his dream, to find the source of that
sacred torrent, the leak in his upstairs bathroom.
"Bugger of chocolate drop' Said Lacy, (who was a victim of overexposure to
Scwartzenegger movies), and with a swift knee in the mans groin, she
contraceptives, so it just goes to show, you should count you receive
blessings like Jesus told us, not to mention ypour testies after starnge
little girls have been in your shopk) , grabbed the aforementioned rat
poison, and dashed intothe waiting world....