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File : BAN_RELG.TXT
Author : El Presidente & Bat Bastard
BBS : The Banana Republic BBS
AS REVEALED BY DIVINE INSPIRATION
THE WORD OF THE GREAT BANANA
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Hear Ye, Hear Ye...
Let it be known amongst the populace the our Divine Lord the
Great Banana has spoken to us.
"And ye, verily, thou shalt makeith a church of mine upon the
earth, and it shall be called The First Church of the Born
Again Banana. My corporeal representative in all matters
shall be El Presidente, and he shall be hence forth called
Pope Inclement Drinking Weather the First."
In direct accordance with our Lord the Great Banana's wishes
I have hereby founded The First Church of the Born Again
Banana, and declared myself Pope. The Great Banana, acting
through his earthly representative (me) has demanded that a
priesthood be formed, headed by a Cardinal, and this Cardinal
shall be named Cardinal Nana. Bat Bastard has been chosen
for this ministry and shall henceforth be known as Cardinal
Nana.
Hear Ye, Hear Ye...
All ye worshipers of Bananas let us come together, to worship
the Great Banana in accordance with his divine wishes.
All ye followers of the Great Banana who wish to participate
in the worship of our Lord, should make yourselves known to
us, and we will enlighten you in the ways of the Great
Banana.
Signed and Dated
El Presidente.
Pope Inclement Drinking Weather the First.
The Year of our Lord the Great Banana 19524.
A Call to the BananaHood !
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Fellow citizens! Bretheren! Brothers!(and sisters)
Have you felt a weakening of the moral fibre, the very
essence of the society in which we live? Skate muties on
every street corner! Deviants baying at every door!
Pacifists, peace activists and poofters clawing at the
constitution! Fear not,,oh woeful ones, for verily and yeah,
thine salvation is near, for The great Banana himself has
revealed his plan for the salvation of us all. For verily the
Great Banana has quoth "You are the Banana , ans on this
Banan I will build this church, for the foolish man builds
his house on a rock, the very cymbal of imperminance, but the
wise man. he buildith his on a Great Banan (preferably 9" or
more)" A Church has been founded, with Pope Inclement
Drinking Weather the 1st as the force made fruitful, and
myself, Cardinal Nana as his appoinyed and annointed right
hand banana . But forceful though we are , we need YOU, oh my
brothers and sisters, to combat the evil of the Lord Of the
Fruitflies, to tell it on grove,yea, even unto the ends of
the earth(even Otara), from the banana bar of the Globe,, to
shout to anyone who will listen (and anyone who willnot).
This is our mission, to be the Daleks of god, to Join, my
kindred, unite in the Priest hood of Nananess.
Are YOU worthy? Do you posess of these noble qualities:
Non-celiate
A nine inch Nana
A LOUD voice
A fervent passion to preach the way of the Great Banana
Good running shoes
A kevlar flack jacket
Lots of money (for donations).
If you Fell worhty to this , the greatest of calliings,
contact I, Cardinal Nana, (or, under my secular title, Bat
Bastard), as soon as possible.
May your Banana never wilt, may the fruit of your loins be
naught but Bananas, and may you walk in the everlasting light
of the Great bananas Radiance.
P.s do not hide your banana under a bushel.
Signed and dated
Bat bastad
Cardinal Nana
Yera of our Lord, the Great Banana 19524
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AUTHOR : El Presidente & Bat Bastard
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Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS
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