💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › groups › FISH › vandal2.txt captured on 2020-11-01 at 00:25:32.
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YES SIR! ITS ANOTHER F.I.S.H. F.I.L.E.!!
BY: EZRA GURUFACE &
PUNK ROCK GIRL
DISCLAIMER: THIS FILE IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY! DO NOT
ACTUALLY DO THESE THINGS. IF YOU DO YOU ARE JUST A BIG DUMMY
HEAD. WE TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU.
HEY CAMPERS! IT'S TIME FOR NUMBER TWO OF THE VANDAL SERIES. (I'LL
BET YOU DIDN'T THINK I WOULD DO IT! WELL YOUR'E WRONG SO HA!)
FUN WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER
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FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DON'T KNOW A SLEDGE HAMMER IS THE WORKERS
BEST FRIEND. IT IS HEAVY AND BIG AND IT SAYS " RUN OR I'LL CRUSH
YOU! " (I JUST LOVE EXCLAMATION POINTS! )
THE SLEDGE HAMMER HAS BEEN USED FOR MANY THINGS BUT THE POINT IS
ITS A BIG HEAVY WEIGHT AT THE END OF A STICK. IT HAS MONDO
LEVERAGE AND OBTAINS MAXIMUM VELOCITY ON ITS WAY INTO, OH....
SAY, A FACE. THESE PUPPIES HAVE MAXIMUM TRASHABILITY BUT SOME
JELL-O HEADS DON'T KNOW HOW TO EMPLOY IT CORRECTLY. THESE EASY
TO FOLLOW ( YEAH RIGHT) INSTRUCTIONS SHOULD HELP YOU ALONG
NICELY. THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THE FEELING OF SOMETHING BREAKING
UNDER THE FORCE OF A BIG METAL SQUARE THING ON THE END OF A BIG
STICK.
1) IS THERE A ROAD BY YOUR HOUSE THAT HAS TONS OF POT HOLES? NO?
MAKE ONE! NO MAKE TWO! WELL MAKE....FIVE OR TEN!
2) HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE HOUSING DEVELOPMENT PROJECTS GOING UP
LATELY? THEY ARE ANNOYING AND THOSE LOUD FAT MEN WAKE ME UP AT
ALL HOURS WITH THERE DURN HAMMERIN'. I LIKE TO JUST GET ME A BIG
SLEDGE HAMMER AND SAUNTER ON OVER THAR IN THE DEAD O' THE NIGHT
AND JUST VENT MY HATRED ON THERE PRISTEEN SHEET ROCK WALLS. YUM.
3) THE NEIGHBOR HOOD KIDS HAVE A THING WITH BUILDING DAMS ON ANY
SMALL MOVING BODY OF WATER THEY CAN SEE. I LIKE TO MOSEY ON OVER
THERE AND COMMENT ON THEIR WORK BEFORE I PULP THEIR PETTY DAM
INTO GRAVEL AND LET THEM CRY AT ME. I LOVE IT!
4) LOCKPICK= SLEDGEHAMMER. MASTER LOCKS DON'T LAST LONG AGAINST
THE FULL FURY OF A HAMMER IN MOTION.
5) DOES YOUR FFRIEND NEED A WINDOW IN HIS ROOM. GIVE HIM ONE!
FREE OF CHARGE.
6) I LIKE TO GET SOMETHING GLASS LIKE A TELEVISION AND GET ANGRY
WITH IT. TRY PHONES, OR ANY OTHER APPLIANCE.
7) I REALLY HATE ONE OF MY TEACHERS.... SHE HAS SO MANY
COMPUTERS.... WOULDN'T IT BE SAD IF SHE ARRIVED TO A BUNCH OF
SMOKING PARTS ON A TBLE ONE DAY?
8) CD'S ARE FUN. THEY KIND OF EXPLODE IF YOU DO IT RIGHT.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFICT.
9) DOES YOUR CITY HAVE A PARK? DOES THE PARK HAVE A FOUNTAIN?
KNOCK A LARGE HOLE IN THE EDGE AND WATCH THE WATER GO BYE BYE.
10) OOF!
11) NAIL YOU MOM IN THE HEAD WHEN SHE IS ON THE PHONE AND SHE
WON'T LISTEN TO YOU.
12) MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! SMACK! GURGLE....
13) YOU KNOW, FOOD REALLY DOES EXPLODE ALL OVER.
14) DISMANTLE A PLAYGROUND.
15) DISMANTLE A CHILD AT THE PLAYGROUND.
16) NEW CONCRETE? NOT ANY MORE!
17) JUST CARRY IT AROUND AT SCHOOL... TO THE MALL.... PEOPLE SEEM
TO GIVE YOU MORE ROOM, OR IS IT JUST ME?
18) IS THE DOOR LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE? TOO BAD.... FOR THE DOOR!
19) ITS REALLY FUN TO BUY A COKE AND JUST SMAH IT FLAT. SHAKE IT
UP FIRST!
20) ARE YOUR NEIGHBORS YUPPIES? DO THEY HAVE A PLAYHOUSE FOR
THEIR KIDS BIGGER THEN YOUR ROOM? KILL IT.
HERE ARE ONLY A MERE SAMPLE OF THE HELPFUL USES OF THE SLEDGE
HAMMER IN SOCIETY. BE CREATIVE AND MOST OF ALL REMEMBER THE
F.I.S.H. MOTTO: " BLOOP " (JUST KIDDING) " ALWAYS HAVE FUN! JUST
DON'T GET CAUGHT...."
AS ALWAYS YOU CAN MAIL THE F.I.S.H. :
EZRA
PUNK ROCK GIRL
THE INFIDEL
THE POTATOE LADY SNORTS JELL-O ( THIS MEANS HE IS TEMPORARILY OUT
OF ORDER )
BUH...