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_-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-_ - Driving Fun I - - By The Blade and The High Lord Satan - - A Neon Knight/Metal Communications/Black Metal Presentation - _-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-_ The Neon fuckups are back, and raising Hell if a different way, with a very deadly tool if used in the right manner, the age old automobile. Well Henery (Ford that is), you've made another pastime for us to perfect, Death and Destruction by automobile. So lets go see what things the Blade does with his car (its a Jap Datsun pickup w/11 inch body/spring lift and 36 inch off-roader tires, great for running over/hitting things). One thing thats great fun is on Halloween (when everybody does it) get all your friends together who have pickups, get 5 or 10 people in the back with eggs and have a all out war against each other, and hit the stupid little kids who are trying to have to good time trick or treating, run em' over, and take their candy. Hit houses, take out the mailboxes with baseball bats, and ruin your paint job at the same time. Last Halloween, I got pulled over by the pigs, they said I had 4 seperate complaints on my truck for harassment, destruction on property, you fuckin name it. The funniest thing was that one of my friends in the back of my truck hit the councilman's daughter in the face with an egg, that was funny. I bullshitted with the cop and the fuckin councilman for an hour then they dropped all charges and let me go home to mommy and daddy. What dumasses, cops are stupid. Ok, I live in an 99 percent WASP/R. Catolitic community, so you could say some of us are narrow minded when it comes to certain things, such as Black people, spics, jews, mormans, ricans, and other ignorant groups. Well there's a town not too far away called Mo-town, witch is about 60 percent black, and 59 outa that 60 are ignorant and have jobs that pay 2.65 an hour (sorta like deaf and dumb people). Well, I did this a couple times, and its fuckin fun as hell, it's call Nigger Polo. You need a pickup, 6 guys in back, 6 baseball bats, and a shotgun (in case you get mobbed by 200 of em). Drive down the street, and yell slurs like 'Hey niggeas, i gots sum watamelen heres for ya' or 'my granddady fuckin owned ya' fatah' that shit gets em' pissed and chasin, so when they get near the truck, try to crush their skull, or take off their noses in one swing. But this game isn't all fun, if you drop your bat, you gotta go get it, its a bitch trying to get a bat when 30 nigs are beteen you and it. Its garbage day, and all dose nice rubbermaid and galvinized steel cans are just waiting to be run over. Some of you people can't do this cause it'll fuck up your undercarrige of your auto, but if you have a nigger machine like me, its a fielday. Its a riot to see flattened cans all up and down the street, with used tampons scattered across the road. Remeber when you were an ass and rode your bike around town, and people would honk at you, throw things at you, and sometimes run you off the road. One thing good about my truck, it has air horns, which you can hear 2 miles away. Its funny when you blow the horn at bikers and they fuckin freak out and crash. The most memoriable time was when some guy was riding across this small bridige, I fuckin' hit the horn, the bike hit the guardrail on the bridge, the handlebars got wedged inbetween the rails, it filpped him over the rail, into the river, I fuckin could'nt stay on the road cause i was laughin so hard. I wonder what ever happend to him... Big wheels are a great advantage in ripping up people's lawns. When they are home is the funniest, just take off your plates and your set for destruction. Thow the baby in first and cut the wheel, plow time! shit, the lawn in now a plowed plain. They call the cops, but you're 4 wheelin and long gone... This part takes guts, but if you are fucked in the head, you don't care when others die. The famous phrase 'Hit and Run' well describes this activity, but instead of running, fuckin spin! Old people are the easiest target cause they don't move very fast, and they die the quickest. My old friend (who is now in jail) and I went out one night to the city. We got sloshed and drove around (In New York City, they can't tell when you are fucked up, cause no one knows how to drive anyway) and went to Brooklyn, where alot of old fucks live, some old lady was waiting to cross the street, is was some side street and it was around 11 p.m., well, nobody was in sight, so we waived her to cross in front of us, she was all happy, until Joe(to not mention names) floored it and creamed her, it was funny cause she went into convoltions on the side of the road, we took off and drank some more... Highway/Freeway/Turnpike driving can get very boring at times because there is not much to look at, and you do one steady speed, like 70 or 80 mph. Well, if you have an car that does'nt handle very well at high speeds, then take it out on other people, get into the fast lane, and go 55. This pisses people off majorly, and when they try to pass on the right, you can't get in trouble. It's one way to make hiway driving fun. Well, im getting tired, and in a few more months there will be new experiences to write about, so look for driving fun // somewhere near you. _-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-__-==-_ I'm in no way responsible for anything that the end person kills, destroys, pillages, rapes, hurts, or burns. Its your life do what you want, I am. Call these: The Metal Ae pw-KILL 1200 only/4drives 201-879-6668 The Metalworks Ae pw-RAPE 1200/2 drives 313-663-8103 Metalland One (ind) 300/202 10meg AE/BBS/FUR 503-538-0761 Manyways BBS (ind) 300/202 10meg AE/BBS/FUR 609-921-1994 Treasure Island Ae pw-RUSH 1200 only/8 drives 414-547-2805 Of course thanks to: Killer Kurt, Zandar Zan, The Metallian, Jolly*Roger, The Outland, Datsun, Dick Cepek, White Knight, Metal Bastard, Master of Reality, Exodus, King Diamond, and my friend in jail. Written on April 1, 1986 (C)1986 The Neon Knights No part of this file may be published in any form of mass media, such as Newspapers, Magizines, or T.V. without written consent from The Neon Knights. See you in HELL!!