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??02 Apr 90????????????????????_ROR_-_ALUCARD_?????????????????????????? ??
? ? A ??
? The Lost Notes of Dr. Daigger ? ???
? A ??????
? and the Infamous Daigger Machine!! Tfile ??
? Distribution ??
????? Centere ??
?? ? Written by: Doctor Murdock - RoR - ??
? A ?_____________________________________________________________________??
? ?? Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.????????????????????????????????????
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???The HQ of SDBP, inc - 415/236/2371??The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380????
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\___|___/
:\ i x \ The Lost Notes of
: \ (__).\
: \ _____\ DR. DAIGGER
\ | |
\ | RoR | and the infamous
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\_____/ DAIGGER MACHINE!!!!!
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by, Doctor Murdock
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The story of Dr. Daigger is quite a long one. One that we will cover
very briefly. In 1956 Dr. Thomas A. Daigger finally finished his 12 year
project....the DAIGGER MACHINE! This machine enables Dr. Daigger to travel
through the time and space continuum to any given point at any given time. It
also is rumored to have many other abilities, that we are not aware of. No
doubt you can understand the power of such a machine. Especially in the wrong
hands. Well, Dr. Daigger understood this, and so one summer night he packed
up a few things he could carry and with his Daigger Machine....travelled into
another time. Very few people have heard from him sinse. It's even rumored,
that the Daigger Machine doesn't even exist. But how dull life would be if we
thought that......
Before he became a doctor, Thomas Daigger was a frequent traveller of The
Land called Else. He took great delight in playing chess with the
Alligators while sipping cactus juice from a low flying cloud.
One day Thomas took his friends, the Alligators, to a pleasant pasture and
there he confronted the The Mad Mushroom Grower* while he was busily
planting a new species of Mushroom.
"Tell me, you silly wizard," demanded Daigger in his curious voice. "why
don't we ever see you eating your own mushrooms?"
The Mad Mushrooms Grower stop his planting and without a single word,
pulled a purple, fully grown mushroom about 6 1/2 inches tall, from his
pocket. He took a sip from a straw that was inserted in the top of it.
His eyes glowed a fiery yellow and then red, and then with a thundering
<POOF!> he disappeared into a cloud of aqua coloured smoke.
Upon seeing this, people have been in search of those little 6 1/2 inch
tall purple mushrooms with a passion! None have ever been found. Or if
so, no one has come forth to show it. Like the old saying goes:
Those who know, don't tell.
Those who tell, don't know.
(* - Lucerne, The Mad Mushroom Grower from The Land Of Else.)
-------------------------------
:
Reality...so much for that. :
:
:
_______________________________:
Here...Dr. Daigger writes of another interesting power of the Daigger
Machine. It seems that the Daigger Machine can be tapped into the holder's
brain waves, and allow the holder to send Drago Waves of chosen feelings or
expressions which can be pointed or directed at any given person(s). (ie:
Subliminal messages. Which are shown here with the { } symbols..)
And the Great Man said to the young man...
"Here, my son.....eat from my apple of life!!!" {choke choke}
And he ate...
"ummm, yummmmm...mmmmm. <smack> <lick> hmmmm. yumy yummmmmmmy! mmmmm.
<cough!> <Choke!> Uh..Ack! Ug! ick! Arg! Argglleggglllelee!
<ChoKE!> <COUGH!!!!> Argle! Argle! garggle gargggglele! <CHOKE!!!!!>
<collapse....>"
And he died.
______________
Another example:
Dr. Daigger = DD Female_Unix_Programmer = FUP
DD: "I say...what WONDERFUL breasts you have!"
FUP: "I suggest you mind your own business, you dirty old man!"
DD: "My...I can see your nipples pertruding and poking out of your blouse!"
FUP: "<Gasp!> I've NEVER been so embarrassed! Leave me alone you PERVERT!!"
DD: "I would like to lick your nipples until they are red and pulsate from
being sore...." {on your knees, whore. on your knees, whore.}
FUP: "Oh my god....RAPE! RAPE!! RAPE!!" <she falls onto her knees,>
DD: {"Take off all of your clothes and spread your legs wide apart"}
FUP: "NOOOO! oh....oh...yes....Yes...YES!!! Do ME, NOW old man!!!"
-= We interrupt this sexual fantasy to inform you before hand that all
genius's usually have a great flaw in certain area's of there cranial
intulaub....thus causing flaws in there ways of thinking or their
personality. Obviously Dr. Daigger is a genius. So....... =-
DD: "Here...take this scalpel." {Slit your nipples off.. Ever so slowly!}
FUP: "OH YES! OHHHHH! Ohh..ouch.. pain... ouch! OUCH! AAaahhhhh!!!!"
DD: "YES! YES!!!!" {slit a bloody path from your neck to your vaginal
entrance!!}
FUP: "aaaaaaaAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaAaHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHhhHhhhHhhhhHHHHHHH!!!"
DD: "Give me your nipples!" {cut! CUT! SLICE! MUTILATE!!!!!!}
FUP: <bloody murder scream eventually fading away until dead.>
DD: <giggle giggle>
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Never study Demonology with a pit bull.
Never drink water that drips upward.
Never play catch with a giant.
Never stroke your cockatrice.
Never breed insanity bugs.
Never count on the end.
Always wear under garments.
Always kiss your largest dog first.
Always play with fire underwater.
Always listen to old men with purple mushrooms.
Always wait for someone else to plug in the wet vacuum.
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\ I wouldn't shit you...your my favorite turd!/
&^#*&^%@($())($*#_)_$)_(_)$_)(#*&(#^&@%^&@&*#
Dr Daigger, March, 15th 1223.
I've learned that the most magical items on the planet Earth are....Rocks.
Yes....that is true. And what is the most overlooked object in modern day?
Rocks. Ain't that a kick in the ass?
Also....snowflakes have proven to have quite a magic content. For
instance....eating 120 snowflakes, running in a circle 4 times, and yelling
Owlbear! Owlbear!....will turn you into a newt.
Another quite fascinating magical act is done with a blade of grass. Eating a
single blade of grass while standing under a full moon will give you an acute
case of clastrphobia.....quickly after feeling this sensation, you should eat
a cows eyeball and shortly after doing that you will notice a second head atop
your shoulders. Now...with another head, you must play the ~bad~ head and
scream, "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalalaaa!" for 72 hours, so your
other head can't get any sleep....it will eventually die and start to rot
away. After about 8 months it will be rotted enough so that you can pull it
from your body without much pain. Take the wisdom teeth of this other head
and grind them into a fine powder. Snort this powder and it will give you
the ability to turn into any inanimate object you wish. (After many case
studies, I've found being a tampon is quite the experience.....).
Do with this information as you will. Remember....don't listen to your
scientific elders. Science is just modern day witchcraft. Many other things
exist in this universe, all you have to do is open your mind to them!
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Dear Sirs,
I hope you can learn from my notes. I will send more as time
allows. I'm quite busy out here, you know? Remember....never let go of your
dreams! Enjoy your existence! Don't stop and smell the roses.....stop and
build a Daigger machine, dude!!!!!!!!!
It's all a Piece of Mind.
RoR - Alucard
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Call these other fine boards.....
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-= The Legion Outpost.........................................415/521/7413 =-
-= The Crystal Ship...........................................415/524/9951 =-
-= The Village................................................415/237/4145 =-
-= Pro Leech..................................................415/236/8192 =-
-= The Nimitz Downport........................................415/276/3677 =-
-= Lunatic Labs...............................................213/655/0691 =-
-= Bad Dudes Hideout..........................................415/391/0704 =-
-= Skeleton Crue..............................................415/376/8060 =-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- RoR - Alucard -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-