💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › JOKES › jokes.1 captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:35:22.
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Robber: I'm going to shoot you Man: Why? Robber: Because I shoot anyone who looks like me Man: Do I look like you? Robber: Yes Man: Then shoot! * * * * * Judge: Haven't I seen you before? Man: Yes, your honor, I taught your daughter how to play the piano. Judge: Thirty Years! * * * * * ''My Uncle is in Leavanworth because he made big money.'' ''How much?'' ''About a thrid of an inch too big.'' * * * * * Q: What nationality were Adam and Eve A: Soviet, of course! Where else would they have nothing to wear, opnly an Apple to eat, but be living in paradise! * * * * * Officer: Are you happy now that you are in the Army? Soldier: Yes sir! Officer: What were you before you got into the Army? Soldier: Much happier! * * * * * ''Will you loan me $20.00 and only give me ten of it? That way, you will owe me ten, and I'll owe you ten, and we'll be even!'' * * * * * The seven ages of a woman are: Baby, child, girl, young woman, young woman, young woman, and poised social leader! * * * * * One word of advice: Don't give it! * * * * * Kid: Mom, all the kids at school say I look like a Monkey. Mom: Shut up, and comb your face! * * * * * [And Finally...] * * * * * Talk about bad situations! Think about: A screen door on a submarine! A stowaway on a Kamikaze plane! A teenager who parks in a dark alley with his girl, and his horn gets stuck! A soup sandwich! One who ejects from a Helicopter! A snake charmer with a deaf Cobra!