💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › JOKES › dogsex.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:32:25.
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A DOG NAMED "SEX" Usually everyone who has a dog either calls him "Rover" or "Boy" or something similarly familiar. I called my dog "Sex." Well, Sex proved to be a very embarrassing name. For example, one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4:00 A.M. I told him "I'm looking for Sex." My case came up that very Thursday. I went to City Hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked what I wanted and I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." I explained, "But Sex is a dog." He replied that he didn't care how she looked. "You don't understand," I said, "I've had Sex ever since I was two years old!" The clerk looked at me and said, "Maybe we should license you." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that it was very important for me to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to be patient and wait until after the wedding. I explained "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole existence revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear any more about my personal life and decided he wouldn't marry us in his church. I protested by telling him how I was convinced that everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we went to a Justice-of-the-Peace to be married. My whole family is now barred from the church. My wife and I took the dog along with us on our honeymoon. When I checked into the motel I told the desk clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I, and a special room for Sex. The clerk replied that every room in the motel was for sex. Then I explained "Look, I need that extra room because Sex keeps me awake all night." The clerk said "Me, too, but sex in more than one room keeps me awake all week." One day I told a friend that I had had Sex on TV. He told me he thought I was an exhibitionist. "But you don't understand," I said, "It was a contest." He told me I should've sold tickets. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I went before the judge and pleaded "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said "Me, too. So what?" Well, now I've been thrown into jail, been married, divorced and had more damn trouble with that dog's name than I ever expected. Why just the other day I went to a psychiatrist to discuss all my troubles. During the first session she asked me what my main problem was. I said "Well, Doctor, Sex has died and left my life." She said "Listen, both you and I know that sex isn't man's best friend so my advice is to go and get yourself a dog."