💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › REAL › unrealus.hum captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:46:02.
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(( The Real User ))
(( + ))
(( The Unreal User ))
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(( By Floppie Freddie ))
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(( and ))
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(( Scarface ))
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(( The Fifth Precinct ))
(( [502] 245-8270 ))
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Since the time we both started running AE lines, out of our 900 users, 700 of
them were idiots. The Puds of telecommunication. So we decided to write a file
dedicated to these idiots.
Here are a few tips on how to tell the real user apart from the unreal user.
A Real User:
Knows what an AE line is and doesnt call and ask "Is this where the bbs is?"
An unreal user:
Logs on as fifty different handles and often has wars with himself (or
herself). Often this person will leave one of his other handles E-mail so when
he logs on it will say:
(You have E-mail waiting)
A Real User:
doesnt call the same BBS five times a day and pushes 'C' at least 20 times.
An unreal user:
When chatting with the sysop is continuously brown-nosing and trying to make
the sysop think he is something he is'nt and asking for sysop's access or "What
is the back door, you can tell me."
A Real User:
Phreaks when calling out of his local zone.
An unreal user:
Thinks that phreaking is going out on a weekend and going to a girls house.
A Real User:
Is not impressed when he calls a board and dosn't get amazed when he sees a
spinning cursor or backspace.
An unreal user:
Calls a Catsend line with AE and wonders why nothing happens.
A Real User:
Has a real handle.
An unreal user:
Has a handle like:
"Poppa Smurf"
"Cream Puff"
"`Pencil Necked Geek`"
A Real User:
Posts messages on the latest cracks or phreaks.
An unreal user:
Calls boards like Ed Gelbs GBBS and thinks its the greatest board ever, and
wants one just like it.
A Real User:
Doesn't log on to fifty boards and loose forty of his passwords.
An unreal user:
Calls back a BBS after it tells him or her "This is the last call you can make
for today."
A Real User:
Is logged on to boards with other real users not like "Ben D. Over"
An unreal user:
Watches the entire logon message when he calls.
A Real User:
Doesn't try to log onto BBS's with one drive and two sub-boards.
An unreal user:
Starts wars with the sysop and wonders "Why has my password been deleted?"
A Real User:
Knows what a Cat is.
An unreal user:
Thinks a Cat is a furry four legged creature.
A Real User:
Doesn't use his real name when logging onto a board.
An unreal user:
Doesn't log onto a board with more than one name so when the time runs out he
can call back and have more time.
A Real User:
Has a real computer not like Texas Instruments or Commodore.
An unreal user:
When learns how to phreak, phreaks in his own toll free zone.
A Real User:
Doesn't sit by his computer all day and wait to see if his password has been
validated.
An unreal user:
Thinks that the 'Back Door' is somehting on a house.
A Real User:
Doesn't leave feedback to the sysop every time he calls.
An unreal user:
Doesn't have a printer and tries to list out the BBS list of his local crap
board.
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