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I have an amusing text file that reminds me of about 2/3 of the sysops in my
area:                     
                     REAL SYSOPS DON'T EAT QUICHE.                           
                     BY KARL KEMERAIT                   
                     ADDITIONS AND REVISIONS BY T BADD


	
Real Sysops don't say they're getting a hard drive. They already have one.

	
Real Sysops have 2400 baud. There are a few exceptions.

	
Real Sysops have a fan on their computer at all times.

	
Real Sysops turn off their monitor as often as possible.

	
Real Sysops have their own phone line without 'call-waiting.'

	
Real Sysops disconnect their computer's speaker.

	
Real Sysops turn off the ringer on their telephone.

	
Real Sysops have a clock card.

	
Real Sysops don't care if you say that you are putting up


  a board next summer.

	
Real Sysops avoid 'Chat Mode' as often as possible.

	
Real Sysops hate it when you call yourself a 'future sysop.'

	
Real Sysops know that it's not the sysops that make a BBS great; it's the  


  users.

	
Real Sysops don't post 'new board' messages on every other board in  


  town until their board is actually up and running.

	
Real Sysops laugh when people say things like 'I have your voice number'  


  or 'I am a Fed.'

	
Real Sysops know that 'phone' is spelled with 'ph' and 'fun' with 'f'.

	
Real Sysops don't bother to answer the phone when they're using their  


  computer because they know the guy will have heart failure and hang up.

	
Real Sysops don't change the name of their board every month.

	
Real Sysops don't find it amusing when users leave numbers like:  


  CAN-NOT-TELL or *UN-LIS-TED!

	
Real Sysops don't take their BBS down every five minutes to call a board.

	
Real Sysops don't post their numbers on every known BBS.

	
Real Sysops don't leave mail to users begging them to post.

	
Real Sysops get angry if their boards are crashed.  Fortunately, real


  boards are rarely crashed and Real Sysops make back-ups, anyway.

	
Real Sysops don't care about "Improper Signoffs."

	
Real Sysops DON'T think they are God and are better than everyone