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              ? ???   ?             ?   ?
               ?? ??   ?             ?   ?
                ?  ?   ?             ?   ?
    BLaH        ? ?    ?      ???    ?   ?
    File        ???    ?        ??   ?????        Written August 7th, 1992
    #017        ?  ?ig ?ong  ??? ?nd ?   ?airy
                ?  ?   ?    ?    ?   ?   ?
                ???    ????  ?????  ??   ??
                
                         Presents
                  ?         ??           ?
                   "Knowing When To Twit"
                  ?         by           ?
                         Chessman
                  ?         ??           ?

        Anyone who's ever been on a chat line knows that you get all kinds
of twits, modem word for losers, on them.  You've got your basic 
schitzophrenic, mass murderer (or someone aspiring to be one), 31 year olds 
who have no life but to hangout with 13 year old girls and beg for play, 
and, my favorite, the horny adolescent.  Well, anyway, I'm on this super
lame chat line, where your not allowed to express anything and almost 
everybody has Zer0 <hint> personality, and I figure why not log on as a girl, 
say Jill, and see if I can get some loser to hit on me.  
I got more than that...

           **********************************************
           *  Names are kept to persecute the guilty... *
           **********************************************

P#6(T1:Mike) How old are you, baby?    <--- Some people never made it out of 
                                            the 70s
Chessman to Mike: I'm 16. How old are you?       

P#2(T1:WaveRider) im taking a survey        <--- Harmless flurting?
 on who is still in their pajamas

P#6(T1:Mike) 18, are you horny?    <---You know you've got a twit when he
                                       immediately goes for the kill...
Chessman to Mike: Not really. are you?

P#2(T1:WaveRider) im doing good
 now that im awake!

P#1(T1:Blabber) I know a good wave        <--- Who is this loser?
 to ride.  Yours!

P#6(T1:Mike) yes

Chessman to Mike: What do you want me to do about it?

P#2(T1:WaveRider) ahhhhh naughty <--- What's going on in his mind?
 girl!  suck me baby!

Chessman to WR: Unfortunately, sucking you could be difficult due to
                the abnormal features of my face.

P#6(T1:Mike) I'd like to fuck you  <--- Wow!  13 years old tops!

P#2(T1:WaveRider) how old are you  
 Jill?  Im 21

Chessman to Mike: A little forward aren't we?

P#2(T1:WaveRider) <squeeze>          <--- What does he think he's squeezing?

P#6(T1:Mike) it beats bullshittitting.

P#6(T1:Mike) I want to eat your   <--- No more X rated tfiles for him!
 hot pussy

Chessman to Mike: why?  do you think i would let you?  

P*6(T1:Mike) would you like me too?  <--- Speaks for itself... hahaha!
 I am good at it!  I read a book.

P#2(T1:Mike) Ill make you feel good

Chessman to Mike: How.  What do you do?  Did you read a book on that too?

P#2(T1:Mike)  Nope I got hands on.  <--- Hands on his own dick that is...

P#2(T1:Mike) stick my tongue in
 deep and lick you sweetly with
 long strokes

Chessman to Mike: ahhhhh.. please more.  you're contributing  <--- How ya
more than you know.  more!                                       like that?
                                                                    BLaH
P#2(T1:Mike) then rub my tongue      <--- Too much cable for this boy!
 in circles around your sweet clit

P#2(T1:Mike) when I head your soft
 moans I will move down and insert
 my hot tongue slightly into your
 hot cunt

Chessman to Mike: BLaH         <--- A little plug...

#6(T1:Jill) reJill     <--- Or Chessman... Whichever you prefer..

P#2(T1:Mike) are you wet?

Chessman to Mike: I'm dipping myself into a vat of lime jello.  <--- What?

Chessman to Mike: My jigglers hurt!  <--- A little jello joke...

P#2(T1:Mike) I want to fuck you

Chessman to Mike: Ok put your dick in your hands, and we'll have modem sex!

Chessman to Mike: Now rub it.  Slowly.  Pull the skin, slowly.

P#2(T1:Mike) I move back to your
 clit and suck softly

P#5[T1:]( Deathangel's ) Sometimes    <--- Hmmm...  WaCKy boy!
 I hit on the female nons just to
 rip on 'em....
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  You can quote that for BLaH if
  ya like

Chessman to Mike: Rub it between your hands, and  <--- Woooo... Where'd that
think of my fat pussy grinding into your thigh        come from?  Too many
                                                      sex tfiles for me too..
P#2(T1:Mike) I am rubbing my hard
 cock slowly

P#2(T1:Mike) it is large and hard,
 about 8"

Chessman to Mike:  Are you sure?  Measure it.

P#2(T1:Mike) Ok.  Maybe 6 inches.             <-- If that pal...

P#2(T1:Mike) my hard cock moves
 slowly up and down your hot slit

P*2(T1:Mike) do you really want      <--- Pathetic.  He measured it...
 to know how long it is?

P#1(T1:Mike) I put it outside of      <--- I've seen better in 3-2-1 Contact
 your pussy and apply just a bit
 of pressure

Chessman to Mike: Faster now.  Don't JUMP to conclusions though.

P#1(T1:Mike) my cock is hard as          <--- Despite the size, he's right.
 a rock, it was been hard for a               We're about 20 minutes into
 long time                                    the conversation...

Chessman to Mike: Rub fast and think of me in a sPa. Imagine you're 
                  stabbing me like a murderer.


P#1(T1:Mike) it is long and thick,     <--- He's talking about his asshole
 about 2-2 1/2" thick                       of course.  He spent a short time
                                            in prison with a sweet man named 
                                            Bubba...


Chessman to Mike: COME MIKE!  COME like never before!

P#1(T1:Mike) I feel it building
 up

P#1(T1:Mike) I am rubbing faster

#5(T1:Jill) re Jill    <--- Once again I return..

P#1(T1:Mike) what a mess      <--- About a spoonful, at most

P#1(T1:Mike) about 5 large spurts
 ya

P#1(T1:Mike) are you really a girl       <--- Uh oh... he's catching on!

P#1(T1:Mike) its still hard, pumping     <--- Or maybe not...

P#1(T1:Mike) I can come 2-3 times
 and still be hard

Chessman to Mike: That's quite a feat!

P#1(T1:Mike) give you it deep

Chessman to Mike: Please Mike.  More!  I love this!

Chessman to Mike: Unfortunately Mike.  My name is     <--- Key time... 
                  Chessman and captured                    Embarass the shit
                  everything you said. It                  out of the twit!
                  will soon be released in                 Privately first...
                  a BLaH file.. so clean 
                  up and get ready for ultimate 
                  humiliation! hahahaha!

P#1(T1:Mike) pumping hard and fast,               <--- Still at it?
 moving in circles

P#1(T1:Mike) you feel my hut cum
 spurt deep within you

#5(T1:Chessman) .p1hahahahaha                     <--- Now publically!

P#1(T1:Mike) cool                                 <---  Good sport!  That's
                                                        all in the fun!
P#1(T1:Mike) big long and hairy

#5(T1:Chessman) yes.. that's it.
  Mike is now the twit of the month
 for BLaH... he's the 1st monthly
 recipient but there WILL be more..

#5(T1:Chessman) hitting on women
 over the modem is definitely an
 immediate brandishing! hahaha

#5(T1:Chessman) masturbating over
 the modem is worse!

#5(T1:Chessman) WaCKy!  BLaH! 


        And so ends the saga of the LameR...  or does it.  Ever since I
learned to capture things, I've had some wonderfully bizarre and insane
conversations.  We'll see.

{---Uh Huh!--------------------------------------------------------------}

        One day two women were walking through the wilderness, and they
happened to stumble upon a set of tracks.  One said, "Hey those look an awful
lot like raccoon tracks."  The other insisted, "Those are chicken tracks."
They were still arguing when the train hit them...

                                          Chessman

{---End of Files... Safe-T-Nutz v0.90? says "8776 Bytes Total"------------}

Writers-Chessman                             If it says BLaH,
        Guido Sanchez                       it probably is not.
        Constantine

Merry Twitting all!

BLaH <sigh>ts

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