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[ Breathe e'Zine - Volume 1, Issue 2 - January 8, 1997 ]
Breathe!
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+ Introduction by Belial - [January 8, 1997]
Welcome to the second edition of Breathe. This issue is dedicated to the
art of poetry. The poems in this issue of Breathe reflect what, in my
opinion, is "real" poetry. That is, poetry that comes from the heart, the
poetry that comes from your own mind, not influenced by the trends of the
time, poetry written for the sake of the art... for the sake of the poet.
It's too often that I see, especially on the computer, the art of poetry
being abused. The constant abuse of poetry has ultimately lead to the
dismissal of poetry as being a beautiful and vital part of literature and
writing or as a form of art in general.
Poetry is an expression of the soul, working in conjunction with the mind
and the body.
The next few poems, in my opinion, reflect this definition of poetry.
--
Breathe e'Zine, Volume 1, Issue 2 (c) 1996 by Belial (Marc Newman), all
rights reserved. Copyrights to articles, stories, poems, and illustratio-
ns are the property of their creators. The contents of this publication
may not be reproduced in whole or in part without consent of the copyright
owner.
--
I would like to thank everyone who contributed to this issue, including:
Mindcrime, Edicius, Luke Skywalker, SpoonDog, and Stephen Edwards.
-- Belial [marc@netlabs.net]
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+ "Untitled" by Belial (in memory of Tourian)
[Note: This poem is dedicated to a friend of mine in the ansi art scene
who died a number of months ago. It sucks when people die, but it
sucks more when people you know die.]
Enter him, the lost soul's lost Paradise.
Calm sea, the bitter ocean's rage.
A winter's wind,
The wayward candle, his once
Proud flame...
And to that,
The red leaf's broken wing.
Take flight,
A lifetime's life, and
Silence in...
A lifetime's last
Twilight.
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+ "Poet as Painter (for Screamin' Jay Hawkins)" by Stephen Edwards
I'm painting an oil
A portrait of a man
How can I paint a smile
On this foggy night?
Dressed in black, his thin fingers wrinkle
Arthritis hands that we'll never touch
Catching a cab, or picking a flower
Hitchhiking and bowling
Maybe out on the river rowing
How can I paint a smile
On a name I don't know?
All over the world little hearts are always breaking
And little tears are falling
Why would you think that he's any different?
So again I ask you
How can I put a smile on his face?
-----
+ "The Black Dove" by Mindcrime
A man approached me on the stree today
To peddle his wares of blue and grey.
He spoke of my hate and my iniquity,
My soul he could see despite my solidity.
I never meant to be the man I am,
A skeptic, a sinner, too quick to damn.
Lust ever present, I long for true love,
Fear manifested, I dream the black dove.
Change is forever sculpting my mind,
It's too damn hard to live a life of this kind.
My soul burning in hell, conscience maddending,
Stuck in a life so depressing and saddening.
I'm not locked in this life, I don't require a key,
There's more of my life on the horizon, you see.
I can't make it all happen, but i'll give it a shove,
Freed from this life, fly away my black dove.
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+ "Clone" by SpoonDog
Doomed
To utter submisson
Of myself
And all thought
And emotion
Trying to make me change
Trying to make me a clone
FUCK YOU!
I'm never going to become
One of you
I will be who I am
By myself
And not you
But the day will come
When you win
And I am left to
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
A clone
-----
+ "The Mighty Man" by Stephen Edwards
I am the Mighty Man
Master of my dark cigarette smoke filled apartment
Ruler of the world
I can sit here with my back on the floor
And the world waits for me
It slows
It stops
I eat, drink, smoke, fuck & shit
And now, staring at the slow, unmoving walls of my apartment
I rise
And strut over to the window
BAM! Window wide open, shadows in the moonlight, dick to the world
I jerkoff out window so the world can move again
In peace and eternal love
Amen.
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+ "Futile" by SpoonDog
I dont know what's real
Or what's meant to be
Forsaken blind in this land of sight
I am cast out
I dont know how I want to feel
Never did
Constant inner hatred
Can't fight it
Bringing me down
Faster,
Faster
To the ground
Plunging me deeper into this hell
Hoping I will awaken to anew
But
It doesnt stop
The never ending
Never stopping
Never releasing
Can't stop the anger and sorrow
... Futile
-----
+ "Stage" by SpoonDog
Every day
I don my mask
And
I climb up onto this stage of mine
And I perform
I act as if I'm happy
I act as if everything is fine
But I am dying away
A rotting corpse with a smiling face
Contridiction
Abomination
Perched upon his own stage
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+ "Surrender" by SpoonDog
Thoughts scattered across the sky
In a hazy mess
Too far away for me to touch
I reach my hands into the air
Hoping to catch a piece of me
Tangled
And
Distraught
In despair
Writhing to break free
But my furious attempts
Prove useless
I now choose not to try anymore
Been rejected too many times
It's not worth the effort anymore
I can't stand to be smashed into pieces again
-----
+ "Nothing Did" by SpoonDog
I walk here alone
And
I stare in their eyes
And
See emptiness
And
I feel sudden hatred at the way you are
So beautiful above your barren wasteland inside
I want to smash your face with my stare
But
I divert my eyes,
Ponder my motivations,
Reasons,
Meaning... I find I have none at all
And
Go about my business...
-----
+ "Untitled" by Belial
Dreams,
Visions of night.
The soft swell
Of imagination,
The joy found
In the rising sun.
Simplicity--
Life and pleasure.
But,
Blinded by pain
And longing.
Desire.
Truth.
The balance holds.
Life.
-----
+ "Dumb Girl" by Edicius
Hey, I know you're dumb
Really dumb at times
You do really stupid things
But that's ok
You're just a girl
I mean, hey, you're a girl
It's not that bad
It's just that you do stupid things
& you're pretty dumb at times
& you don't have self control
Over your body, or your mind (at times)
But that's ok
I know you're dumb
In fact, really stupid
You're just a girl
But I'm just a boy
& I still like you
Even though you're really dumb
Given the chance
I could be that dumb
Well, I may not have sex
With five different guys
On videotape
In front of strangers
At a weird house
With a carrot
But that's ok
Be as dumb as you want
You're just a girl
But I'll still like you
Maybe we can be dumb together
-----
+ "My Star In The Darkness" by Luke Skywalker
The first time I saw her
I was struck by her beasuty
I know not how I came to find the star
As it shot across the otherwise bleak night
The trail it left behind illuminating
A happier place to be thanks to that shooting star
I often find myself wondering
When will I see this star again
It seems like forever until that fateful night
I was not expecting it
But her radiance once again fills the night time sky
I can do nothing but appreciate, perhaps even give thanks
This shooting star has given me light
Pointed me in a new direction
The image of the star is imbedded in my thoughts
Majestically streaking through the black sky
The star is no longer hard to find
I see her everytime I close my eyes
And I believe the star is now a part of me
As together we ride off in the midnight sky
-----
+ "Sea of Tears" by SpoonDog
Drowning
Sinking
I try to call out to you
But
My voice is choked by
The raging sea of tears
That I created myself
You offer your hand to me
To save me
I wish to grasp on to it
But I refuse your help
Fearing pulling you in too
I cannot trust myself
Raging emotions deep inside
Drowning me day by day
Downward on a spiraling whirlpool
Your hand still remain extended
I still refuse
Drowning by my own will...
[EOF]