💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › DDE › dde07.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 11:21:10.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
:::.
:: :istorted
:::'
Text File #7 :::. Amphetamine Gobbler
???????????????????????????? :: :igital ???????????????????????????
16 February 1994 :::' Mongoloid Telecom
::::
::. rection
::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
'Getting Blowed the Necropolis Way'
Greetings my fellow faithful text-file readers! And what a t-file
we have for you tonight!
Let's begin with a look back and one of our favorite voice mail
systems in the country - the AK-47 codeline! As I looked through
some of the old things I have lying around the hard disk, this
transcript came through. What a treat it is:
"What up lokes? This is AK-47 doin an update for Friday, August 11, 8
o'clock PM at night ... callin from Compton - Murder Capitol of the
World.
Oooh, I can't wait to get this update kickin.. got lots o' codes and info
ooooh yea .. but you know what? Fuck ya mutha fukkas!
People callin up sayin they can do this and they can do that and puttin
nothin on the box. ..
I don't run this codelines cuz I need codes .. I run this so you mutha
fukkas can get codes.
But when people call up and just start leavin messages or hangin up to
the black power structure callin me a nigger .. or yeah I love that word
... nigger
I say fuck the white man!
White man don't rule nuthin but the crack a'my ass. But I try to help out
you lilly white ass mutha fukkas.
You honkadelic mutha fukkas!
BAM!"
Isn't that a real treat? Oh, and there's more where that came from.
For instance, just take a look at some of the online sexual things
that have surfaced. These are from my archives were Cleopatra would
buffer her mail and send it to me. Let's check it out, hm?
Date: 11:26 pm Sun May 24, 1992 Number : 2 of 10
From: Cleopatra #115 Base : Private mail
To : Shaboo #129 Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Hi there... Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
S> Hi Sweetie....Just read your profile. I see that you will consider
S> trying
S> something different. Ever have fun with a married man and another
S> female? How about Phoebe?? Let me know and tell me more about
S> yourself..
Hey there big guy! I've never had fun with a married man before.
Have I ever had fun with another woman before? Maybe! Maybe when
I know you better I'll let you know about it. What about Phoebe?
Get back to me. I'm always open to new friends.
S> Hi Hon...(you can tell me your first name, mine's Dave)...Sorry it's
S> taken me so long to answer, but this board's line is busy alot. Wonder
S> why you can't get on The Canton Connection?? Anyway, you sound pretty
S> good to me. 38's huh? Good size mouthful for me!!! And I love great
S> legs. What turns me on??? Talking to females that I don't know. I love
S> modem sex, it's great...and hoping some time it can be for real. I am
S> willing to cheat on my wife, but I must be promised that nothing will be
S> said to anybody. You think you might be interested??? Just knowing that
S> the possibility exists and fucking someone I don't know turns me on.
S> Have
S> you ever seen a guy someplace and wished to could do anything ya wanted
S> to with him....even though you don't know him???? Wish you would
S> consider it sometime. Hope to hear from you real soon......Dave :*
-- end of capture
Isn't that just delightful... ? See, these are just a few of the
things that heighten the enjoyment of telecom. Some things are
just too good to be true, I guess.
As a side note, this is a treat to ALL Necropolis users!
| *** Wednesday, February 16, 1993 - Sorc will be LIVE on the air
| *** to discuss the Necropolis on 990 AM (WTIG) around 9:30pm!
| *** All of you be sure to tune in ... Howard Stearn can suck
| *** the wild hog as Sorc ascends to radio king!
NEXT TOPIC: The Road to "Fucked Up"
This is 'How to Get Fucked Up the Necropolis Way'.
There are many different types of getting fucked up. We'll be looking
at one particular form today. I like to call it: sloshingly shit-faced.
For some people, its a way of life. Look at frat parties. For some,
it is an occasional treat that is just a swell thing to do.
Here's what you need.
A Bottle of Absolut Vodka
1/8th of God's Gift to Man (not G.G. Allin)
A Bulletin Board System (preferably established)
Here's what you do. First of all, getting the Absolut. This might
be kind of hard to do, depending on your status. Overall, though,
this is a relatively simple task. A fake I.D. or compassionate
21+ year old is enough for this.
As for the 1/8th, geez. You could probably get that ANYWHERE, isn't
that right, D.A.R.E.?! Just go down to ANY street corner in Canton
and I'm sure you'll be able to find something.
And the BBS? Well, this is optional but I would recommend it.
Ok, here we go. Find a good place to go. There are many in Canton.
Smoke a bowl. Smoke another. Take a shot of vodka. Smoke a pinner
bowl. Take a shot of vodka. Smoke another bowl. At your discretion,
take another shot. Don't even think about driving, conrad, cuz
you're blowed!
Anyways, this is one of the many Necropolis methods of getting
blown. There are so many more! We could just go on. And on. And
on.
While you're at it, get some good music. In particular, you'll
want to listen to Tool ("Opiate"), Hoodoo Gurus (for a good mood
tone), perhaps some Jane's... a personal favorite is Devo, but
y'know.. that's pretty selective. Frank Black is also a good
one.
You might ask: Gee, AG, why blowed instead of blown? Very simple!
This is what we call gansta slang. Gangstas are too cool to use
any kind of grammar so we can't say "blown" ... besides, we have
to be able to say: "Damn man, dat bitch hit like a mother fucka..
It make me so blowed.. damn.."
That's all for now kids!
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
Distorted Digital Erection February 1994 Text File #7
DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS
216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT!
vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse..
Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on
the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with
the New User Application.
CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future!
TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!...
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
-eof-