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Text File #3 :::. Amphetamine Gobbler
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13 February 1994 :::' Mongoloid Telecom
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Greetings to all of our LOVELY friends in modem-world! What a swell
one we have here... ohhhhh boy. We have been goin' CRAZY... goin'
NUTS because ... it's Friiiiiiday! Friday! Aazah! Ok, the first
person to identify that will receive many massages from me..
Oh, Christ. So, I guess its ramblin' time...
But FIRST! I wanted to say "Yo, whassup" to dat white-boy but still
a boy - no, DA boy!- Spirit of Entropy... what wonderful reviews his
Modem Wrestling Federation file had on the masses... the masses of
molasses... and also a hi-ho to Milton Berle... who didn't like my
t-file as much as SOE's but still felt bad... so enjoy the name
drop, sugar... its the only one you gonna get! ... er sumthin.
Ok, now that this is out of the way I wanted you to all to just enjoy
something... this is just for your pure delight:
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Isn't that just a MONSTER? Damn!
Ok, let's move to the point of this little eensy-beeny text file.
This is going to be a short one. That's all there is to it.
I was swirling about the arch-nemesis, shall we say, of our entire
way of life - Canton Connection - when I noticed something so silly.
But before I get to that, can I just say: "Of course?" That's what
I thought when I read THIS on the famed Wall:
Will the Girls be table dancing on the tables at the picnic?
I think the Tcc Girls are a wild group of modem users:)
Geez... what a picnic THAT'LL be!
Anyway, I was looking at something on TCC and thought: Jesus, man,
that's propaganda!
Check it out:
Date: Thursday, February 3, 1994 12:01pm /Hello
From: Chaos Msg#: 136484
To: ** ALL **
Re: Some Stats for TCC (1 reply)
Here are some ineteresting statistics that I have gathered about our
system, and how many calls and downloads it has per day.
CANTON CONNECTION BBS
Average calls per day: 162
Average Downloads per day: 74
Average Meg's Downloaded per day: 22 MEGS
Messages per day (Local and Net): 549
These figures are spectacular! Thanks to all the people who make TCC a
part of thier life, our average calls per day is at 162! If everyone
just spent 1/2 of an hour online, that would be 81 hours of use packed
into just 24 hours!
Just look at it like "We pack over 3 DAYS worth of use, into one day!"
Another nice number is our 74 DOWNLOADS per day. Some times, I have
seen that number go as high as 160, from our CD's alone! When we
figured the number of MEGABYTES we transfer each day, it came to 22
MEGS.
Just look at it like "We fill a whole 20 MEG HARD DRIVE each day!"
Messages per day is a really high number. This is due to the amount of
mail/messages that we get from out MailLink areas. When you combine the
private email with our local forum messages, that adds up to alot of
mail!
Ohh and BTW, we also handle over 170 TELEGRAMS per day! :)
Chaos
(R)eply, (E)mail reply, follow (T)hread, (P)revious or (N)ext message?
--
Ok, now by reading that, you would assume that TCC has over 500
local messages a day - which would be roughly 5 times that of
the Necropolis. Now, a prudent user would stop and think, "Geez,
I only read about 5 messages a week on here from the local subs.
They must be getting around 544 MailLink messages." BUT! Note
that Chaos did NOT separate local from echo in the stats. And
why is that? Well, let's just find out. Taking a peak into the
MailLink logfiles, we can discover that:
02/05/94 05:45:10 MAILLINK ACTIVE
Version 2, Revision 6
02/05/94 07:34:18 MAILLINK DIALING
Dialing on Line (hex) 08
02/05/94 07:35:22 MAILLINK CONNECTION @ 38400
Our system connects to (UPD)
02/05/94 07:40:46 MAILLINK PACKET RECEIVED
496101 bytes in 258 seconds, 1922 avg. CPS
02/05/94 07:40:54 MAILLINK PACKET FOUND
Packet from (UPD) inprocess, 496101 bytes
02/05/94 07:41:02 MAILLINK PACKET BUILT
Sending to (UPD), 7 msgs, 6106 bytes
02/05/94 07:41:14 MAILLINK PACKET SENT
Sent to (UPD) a 6106 byte packet
02/05/94 07:41:16 MAILLINK CONNECTION ENDS
Connection ended normally for (UPD), 345 seconds total
02/05/94 09:09:56 MAILLINK PACKET ENDS
554 msgs processed in packet
02/05/94 19:13:10 MAILLINK ACTIVE
Version 2, Revision 6
02/06/94 00:27:06 MAILLINK DIALING
Dialing on Line (hex) 07
02/06/94 00:28:56 MAILLINK TIMEOUT
ML: 6 A:0 B:0 C:0
02/06/94 00:30:20 MAILLINK DIALING
Dialing on Line (hex) 08
02/06/94 00:31:24 MAILLINK CONNECTION @ 38400
Our system connects to (UPD)
02/06/94 00:33:06 MAILLINK PACKET RECEIVED
172504 bytes in 69 seconds, 2500 avg. CPS
02/06/94 00:33:22 MAILLINK PACKET BUILT
Sending to (UPD), 6 msgs, 6423 bytes
02/06/94 00:33:24 MAILLINK PACKET FOUND
Packet from (UPD) inprocess, 172504 bytes
02/06/94 00:33:38 MAILLINK PACKET SENT
Sent to (UPD) a 6423 byte packet
02/06/94 00:33:38 MAILLINK CONNECTION ENDS
Connection ended normally for (UPD), 129 seconds total
02/06/94 00:59:42 MAILLINK PACKET ENDS
164 msgs processed in packet
Now, look closely. There were 164 messages in the latest packet.
PLUS... the 554 that is also listed up there. Now, I'm no math
wizard, but that's a lot more than the 549 that Chaos quoted!
So, we can deduce that TCC has a NEGATIVE amount of local messages
a day, on the average.
Do you SEE what it has come to? Oh God- I beg for the days of
honesty... and truth... and justice... free love... cheap bud..
Then I thought: well, geez. Sorc posts whenever there is a NEW
record in posts ... isn't that propaganda? Maybe. But when Sorc
does it, it is with a more pride issue .... rather than a
subversive form of convincing people that tons of local messages
are posted a day!
BUT! One lone vigilante ... who we all know and love but not by
this handle ... stood up amount the herds of common cattle and
spoke the voice of truth:
A user known as Falstaff asked: "How many LOCAL messages, though?"
Just look at the double-talk answer he gets! E-mail, MailLink,
local, ahh... huh?
Date: Sunday, February 6, 1994 8:40am /Hello
From: Chaos Msg#: 138229
To: Falstaff
Re: Some Stats for TCC
(Reply to #137416, Reply to #136484)
FA>Subj: Activity
FA> Just our of curiosity, how many messages a day (average) does this
FA>BBS create locally? Just wondering.
I assume you mean how many our OUR LOCAL users write messages. Well,
that would be easy to figure. Its close to 120 message created
locally. EMAIL takes a good part of that, plus the local foums have
about 10 or 15 a day if you read them all. So , yes, I would say that
115 - 120 message per day WRITTEN on Tcc (not inclunding Newtwork).
Chaos :)
(R)eply, (E)mail reply, follow (T)hread, (P)revious or (N)ext message?
Oh, so there are 10 - 15 messages posted on ALL the local forums..
BUT BUT BUT 120 messages a DAY WRITTEN ON TCC! WOW! 120!
Whatever. I think we all can see through this idiocy.
Thank you, boys... and have a good one.
PROLOGUE
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This file was written from 4:30am to 4:45am after a night of
homosexuality, bisexuality, occultism, black hairdressers and
raving dwarves with lead pipes. You can imagine how hard it
was.
HEY!- Don't give up yet! Coming soon: More TCC exposes! More
fun! And PLUS .... the story of Bill, the lovable guy that is
just bubbling with excitement and intrigue!
Remember - submissions are accepted. Send 'em in. Stand up and
say: "Hey... I'm better than everyone else. I write for DDE."
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
Distorted Digital Erection February 1994 Text File #3
DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS
216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT!
vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse..
Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on
the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with
the New User Application.
CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future!
TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!...
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
-eof-