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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e ,
I n c o r p o r a t e d
Presents:
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"Poetry" and "Why I Hate Poetry" by Grandmaster Ratte'
----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #85 -----
----- release date: 01-03-01 ***** ISSN 1523-1585 -----
First, a cartoon:
Sometimes I Juggle o Sometimes I Don't
o O\
o_O/ /|
| o o/ \ o
/ \
- -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -
-+- "My Poetry" -+-
"No Comment"
I HAVE NO COMMENTS, I JUST REPORT THE FACTS.
I HAVE NO OPINIONS, I JUST EAT EX-LAX.
I HAVE NO VIEWPOINT, I JUST WEAR CASUAL DRESS SLACKS.
-----
"Space Invaders"
PLEASE CURE ME OF MY... MY... MY SPACE INVADERS ADDICTION!
SPACE INVADERS
HEY WOW NEAT MAN
SPACE INVADERS
SELL MY GRANDMA FOR A CHANCE TO PLAY
SPACE INVADERS
STRANGLE THE LIFE FROM YOUR NECK WITH MY BARE FINGERS FOR AN EXTRA SHIP IN
SPACE INVADERS
BASTARD CHILDREN WILL NOT SEE THE SUN RISE ON ANOTHER DAY FOR 25 CENTS IN A
SPACE INVADERS
WHUMP. WHUMP. WHUMP. WHUMP.
SPACE INVADERS
YOU WILL KNOW THIS SOUND.
SPACE INVADERS
-----
"The Many Moods of My Penis: A Collection"
HERE'S A NEW HAIKU I AM WRITING ABOUT MY PENIS. I HOPE YOU LIKE MY POEM.
MY PENIS IS DUMB
IT CANNOT THINK AT ALL, NO
UNEMPLOYABLE
HERE'S ANOTHER, LIKE PART 2 OR SOMETHING:
MY PENIS IS NUMB
IT CANNOT MOVE AT ALL, NO
FLACCID AND USELESS
AND PART 3, I AM LIKE ROLLING ON A ROLL, HERE, YES
PENIS, PENIS, WOW
YOU ARE SO HAPPY TODAY
YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE
THIS COLLECTION IS CALLED "THE MANY MOOODS OF MY PENIS" BY KPND (C)1994 RATTE'
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY WORK AND DO BAD THINGS WITH IT.
-----
"Gamer"
GAMER rhymes with LAMER. ho ho ho.
It also rhymes with LION TAMER.
I am the LION TAMER,
a SUCKER MAIMER,
drinking all the juice from my CARROT STRAINER...
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-+- "Why I Hate Poetry" -+-
I get nervous hearing bad poetry, I was literally squirming in my chair [when
watching a poetry reading] and yelling at the TV, "He said 'harlequin'! That
pretentious little shit said 'harlequin'! Put away your damn thesaurus!"
I was watching it over at Franken Gibe's and he said, "I want a new peer group."
What a rad comment.
That's the problem with poetry, and stuff that people decide to group as "high
culture" in general, is that it gets lotsa extra things stuck on it. Like
people try to dress up a simple concept like, "I dug this chick but then she
split, so now I'm sad," with a buncha cliche'd images about beaches and sunsets
and big words that you only use for the SAT. 'Cause they think that's the way
it's supposed to be done.
Or insisting on making things connected to this retro '60s thing, or worse, a
beatnik '50s thing like 10 or 20 years before you were even born. And then
people are always getting some romanticized notion about "the good old days"
and this retro business is just the same old shit.
There's some thing really messed up about being barely 20 and wishing
desperately you'd been born earlier 'cause some movie or magazines say it was
like denial or something. It's 2000, rip off the past, drop bombs in the
future, say what you mean, check yerself before you wreck yerself, blah blah
blah now let's get out there and win one for the gipper.
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"Sucker MCs should call me Sire." - Run DMC, "King of Rock"
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-+- F Y M -+-
GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s
MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of ABSOLUTE CRAP! /---------------\
copyright (c) MM Grandmaster Ratte' :PRIME THE PUMPS:
copyright (c) MM GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. : GwD :
All rights reserved \---------------/
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