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 ggg                    "Transformers Fan Fiction #1"                  ggg
 $$                             by -> AIDS                            $$
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 $$        [ HOE E-Zine #958 -- 12/14/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	It was a dark and stormy night inside Autobots H.Q. Bumbleed and
 Hotrod were busy playing jacks in the mess hall, and lonely Optimus Prime
 looked out of the view portals and surveyed the charred earth around him.
 The humans had finally done it; they had employed nuclear weapons. He
 wondered if Megatron had anything to do with it, if he had urged India
 and Pakistan into their horrible war which ended up taking every single
 human life on the planet, except for Spike, and his dad Ratchet. 
	Prime knew what the loss of your entire species could do. It had
 been the same when Cybertron blew up; and so he decided to go comfort the
 two men, and see if he could offer them any encouragement. 
	As he walked closer to the two men's room, his audio sensors began
 picking up something that sounded like human pain. He quicken his pace
 and threw open the door. His eyes saw a sight he did not know. 
	"What are you doing?" asked Prime. 
	"We're having sex, you big hunk of tin!" screamed Spike in a fury
 of sexual disporia as his father jack hammered away at his son's tight
 little asshole. 
	"I'll have to consult the autobot matrix," began Prime, " but I
 did not realize that humans had sex with their parents."
	"Well, it seems," grunted Ratchet, "that all our fellow humans are
 dead. Social convention and rules are gone, now, Prime, and we're both
 still men. We've got a lot of sexual energy, and we've got to fuck
 something, so why into each other?"
	"We love each other, Optimus. We love each other as only a son and
 father can." The look of lust and caring on Spike's face warmed Optimus
 to his autobot energy core. 
	"I guess I'll leave you two to be," said Optimus. 

	Later that Night, Optimus Prime was sitting in his favorite chair,
 wondering about what he had seen take place between Spike and Spike's 
 father. Being a robotic construct, Optimus had no feelings on sex one way
 or the other, but he was very concerned by how it seemed to rule the
 lives of humans. Could not the atomic war be viewed as a gigantic sexual
 orgy taken to its ultimate tragic extreme? 
	And why should the Autobots not be allowed sexual pleasure? He
 couldn't stop thinking about that look on Spike's face as his father's
 cock rammed in and out of his son's ass... It was the black snake moan.
 Perhaps it was time to get some sexual modifications on all of his crew. 
	Perhaps with this new burgeoning Autobot sexuality, he could
 finally make peace with the Decepticons. Wouldn't it better to fuck
 Megatron than simply to fight him, time and time again? They could be
 made lovers with each jerking spurt of wd-40 cum. And what would it be
 like to personally outfit Arcee with a digital vagina and then fuck it
 and then shave it of its pubic wires? Ah god, if Optimus had a digital
 dick, it'd be rising like Unicron, towards the sky.
	But such a decision, Optimus knew, was unwise without first
 consulting the AUTOBOT MATRIX. How he loved venturing into that
 netherworld of the Autobot soul, it was like touching a piece of
 permanence. 
	He opened up his chest and brought out the matrix and he let
 himself be sucked into it. 

	THIS IS WHAT HE SAW: 

		 _------------------------_
               _|                          |_
              |                              |
              |      0               -       |
              |              &               |
              |_                            _|
               /|_    ----------------    _|\
             /    ------------------------    \
            |                                   \ 
            |                                    |
            |            Lil' Stinker            |
            |                                    | 
            |     |                        |     |
            |     |                        |     |
            |     |                        |     |
            |     |------------------------|     |
            |     |------------------------|     |
            |_____|                        |_____|
             \/\/\/                         \/\/\/
               |                              |
               |          _________           |
               |          \       /           |
               |            |   |             |
               |            |   |             |
               |            |   |             |
               |            |   |             |
               |            |   |             |
               |            |   |             |
               |           (     )            |
               |            (   )             |
               |

 IMAGINE OPTIMUS PRIME'S SURPRISE WHEN HE SAW THAT THE FIRST AUTOBOT, BIG
 DADDY FAT SACKS, HAD AN ENORMOUS FUCKING DONKEY SCHLONG THAT COULD HAVE
 BEEN USED TO BORE THROUGH THE TONGUES OF BLASPHEMERES! WELL THAT SETTLED
 IT FOR OPTIMUS! hE WENT RIGHT OUT AND OUTFITTED HIMSELF WITH A DICK AND
 THEN SPURTED MOTOR OIL ALL OVER HOT ROD, THE LITTLE UPSTART, AND THEN ON
 HOT ROB'S BITCH, ARCEE, AND THEN HE FUCKING POPPED HER AUTOBOT MAIDEN
 HEAD WITH HIS ENORMOUS FUCKING DONKEY SCHLONG

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!               HOE #958, BY AIDS - 12/14/99 ]
[ This file is dedicated to Rhea, just for being her!                      ]