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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #842
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Hacking a Nine Volt"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Reflecks
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/24/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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I emailed and snailmailed and couriered and overnighted and
telegramed (I even sent a singing telegram) and telephoned Energizer Battery
Co. and Duracell regarding this possible DoS, but to no avail. The response
I got was a loud and repeated, "You stupid idiot, get out of here before
I...".
As such, I shall distribute the diagrams and instructions to the
public at large. After all, Information wants to be [US$5.00, CA$17.25].
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Date -> 7/15/1999. 2:08 AM.
Urgency -> Very high. SuperHigh. Higher-than-Bob-Marley high.
Affects -> All currently produced 9V Batteries.
Background
A flaw in the design of all currently produced 9(nine) volt batteries
allows them to be susceptible to certain DoS attacks, including, but not
limited to, shortcircuit.c, jizzbucket.c, drippytongue.c and bigfatloogie.c.
Effects
A cool, tingling sensation on one's tongue (fig. b), possibly
followed by a slight lowering of the sensitivity to one's taste buds
(fig. b), resultant of the muppettongue.c DoS variant. The effects have not
been widely studied thus far.
Diagrams
//~~~~~~~~||~~~~||
salty \/ ||
_\_/__!!_ \\__\ .:~'`'~:. \/
| | / ,' sweet '.
|[-] [+]| / \
| | |s | s|
| | |o | o|
| | |u | u|
| | |r | r|
a. |_________| b. | bitter |
(typical 9 Volt Battery) (typical tongue)
c.
(typical muppettongue.c DoS usage)
\\/\//
_(o(o) \ When touching both the Negative (-) and
_ (, c | the Positive (+) terminals of a 9V battery
| | ~~~~~\ | to the wet, conductive tongue of an individual,
*_______"| | in this case a real, live, muppet, the battery
{_________) | is short circuited, sending current through
\____ | tongue, from the battery, and back through to
| / the battery.
Conclusion
Be cool, stay in school. Don't listen to the teachers, though.
Laser Pointers are bad, kids. Use batteries, instead. Amaze friends,
Baffle teachers, and scare your anal retentive father.
This has been a friendly Public Service Announcement from WESUCK
-> Worldwide Elite Services for the Underground Canadian Kabal.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #842 - WRITTEN BY: REFLECKS - 9/24/99 ]