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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #802
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Wiggle Worms"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Nettle
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/1/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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it was thursday when i bought the wiggle worms, they came in a
bright neon can which easily attracted my consumer type attention at the
local store, but these were no ordinary worms, they were quite the
wigglers, and they spoke.
after forking over the $5.53 for the little wigglies and getting
my recipt & 47 cents change i rushed to the nearest can opener, which
happened to be in my house, after i got to it i hurredly opened its
tin-piercing jaws and clamped them down on the timid metal of the wiggle
worms can, i began to turn the crank of the can opener and i heard the
metal seperators at work, divorcing the can from its top, and then i saw
them, the wiggle worms.
i just didn't know what to do, they started to move and jiggle
around, one fell out of the top of the can, i picked it up, cold, soft, i
placed it back into the can hoping it would help somehow, i ran to the
cupboard and took a large bowl, i poured them into it and watched as
they started to move around and change colors, so pretty, happy,
flourescent colors.
i went over to the computer to tell everyone about my worms and
dcc them pictures of them, and as i started up my bitchx irc client i
noticed the colors of the logo seemed, dark, faded, unreal. as if they
weren't as neat anymore, almost like they weren't worth my time. i
decided to tell people about the worms later, and i went up into my room
with a straw and started picking up the colorchanging creatures and
dropping them onto eachother, it was a funny sight, a little worm mosh
pit if you will. i chuckled and thought to myself 'i should put on some
jammin' metal music for them to mosh to' and suddenly i heard the powerful
chords of a slammin' heavy-metal song vibrate my room, the worms started
groovin' to the music and i laughed to myself. after sitting and
watching them for what seemed like a short time i looked at the clock
and saw it was 9:52pm, i ran down stairs concerned about my mothers
whereabouts, i saw her in the kitchen, cutting up some carrots madly.
she looked up at me and screamed, "OK, NOW YOU DECIDE TO COME DOWN, WHEN
YOU NEED FOOD.".
"what? where were you all day?!", i replied.
"oh shut up! i was yelling to you for a LEAST 20 minutes,
but all you did was look at thoes stupid worms, you didn't even LOOK
at me, what the hell we're you doing?!" she snapped.
"nothing, i didn't even hear you! ... are you sure you were
there?"
" ", silence.
"look, i'm sorry, i must have been too engrossed with the
worms to hear you, sorry."
"ok, eat your dinner, its mince and carrots."
as i ate the carrots looked more and more like the worms, only
they didn't shift colors, and they didn't talk. i yearned to escape
back to my room, to be with the worms again.
after i finished i told my mom i would do my homework in my room,
"ok", she replied.
i stepped into my room and closed the door, click went the lock
behind me as i took the lid off the worm dish and watched them, this time
the spoke.
"hello, we are wiggle worms."
"wow! you do speak! i thought it was just dumb advertising!"
"no my friend, nothing about us is advertising."
then they fell speechless, but still they squirmed around and
changed colors into the night, i watched them, grinning madly at their
every move.
i looked at the clock. 4:47. "FUCK!", i screamed as i quickly
covered the worm dish and jumped into bed, i couldn't believe i'd stayed
up for 11 something hours looking at the worms, but i knew deep inside
that i'd looked at my ceiling before for longer.
at 6:00 i awoke and ran to the shower, after quickly washing i
went and packed for school, after that i walked to school, as i walked i
looked around at the trees, birds, concrete, everything around me, i
noticed that the leaves on the trees weren't as green as they'd always
been, the birds didn't seem to want to chirp as much anymore, and the
concrete, well, it remained as dumb as ever.
when i got to school i met up with scott in my homeroom, we
talked and i told him about the worms, he seemed to want to talk about
other things, stupid stuff like parents and school, but i kept us on the
subject of the worms pretty well.
at third period i had to go to the bathroom, so i got a pass
from the teacher and went into the bathroom, after finishing up i tore
off some toilet paper to wipe my ass with, as i tore it the raggy edges
seemed to start wiggling, and began to take almost wormlike shapes, they
jiggled around on the end of the depsenser.
after wiping up i walked out into the halls and to my third
period class. the door was locked so i looked into the window, nobody
was inside, so, thinking the period must have finished, i walked to
fourth period, as i turned around i noticed it was dark outside.
i ran out and into the streets, i sprinted home and opened the
door. i was greeted by screams and questions and hellfire from my mother.
she screamed, "WHERE WERE YOU!?#"
"in the bathroom.", i said.
after a lot of explaining and bullshitting about getting caught
to the toilet by my chain wallet i went up to bed and watched the worms
until i passed out from exhaustion.
at 6:53 i awoke to banging at my door and screams by my mom, i
skipped my shower and got a ride to school. the whole day was a blur.
i didn't listen to my teachers. i didn't need to, all i needed was to
watch the worms, after 2:35 i was free to do it again, as my day ended i
watched them in my mind. until i was jolted by the bell that signaled
my freedom.
i watched the worms shake and grind, i watched them dance and groove
i watched them jump and swing, i watched the more than anything.
over the weekend i didn't leave my room. i ignored my mothers
screams and only came out to use the bathroom at 2:48am when i couldn't
hold it anymore. the worms consumed my time.
on monday i came to school to have a notice shoved in my face by
my homeroom teacher, i was to report to the guidance office immediately.
as i walked in i saw a nice man, he was supposed to be my counselor.
"for what?", i asked.
"the school system has reason to belive you're on drugs,
you've been acting pretty strangely lately."
"uhm, that's dumb, i'm not on drugs."
"i'm afraid that won't cut it, you'll have to take a test
to prove it, son."
i ignored whatever he might have said after that, i simply nodded
my way through the conversation, on autopilot. after a while he got up
and i walked after him, we walked into the parking lot and to an
ambulance, they brought me to the hospital, no lights or sirens, just a
routine thing, after that i found myself in a lab with a man in a white
lab coat.
"hello young man, all you'll need to do is pee in this
and you can go."
he handed me a small cup and directed me to the bathroom. i
pee'd in the cup and handed it back to him, and walked out into the
parking lot, i saw my moms car and stepped inside and we drove home. i
decided it would be best to ignore whatever paranoid conversation she
came up with.
after i got home i watched the worms, how they squirmed, i had it
all then. they were so pretty, so, distinguished. so great.
i was late to school the next day, it was 12:23 when i got there,
most people were mocking me and word around the school was that i was on
drugs. someone came up to me and knocked me on the shoulder, "hey you
drugged out freak. how're you."
"i'm not on drugs, asshole."
"oh yeah? then why're you such a mess, why do you come
to MY school lookin' like you just stepped out of a torture chamber?
why, even through all this, do you look so content with your
disgraceful situation?"
"yeah, well, what i've got is much too COOL for you."
"hahah the nerdboy thinks he's cool! ha, anything YOU
have is another thing i don't want, dork."
"oh yeah, you've probably never even heard of wiggle
worms so FUCK YOU idiot, you're so fucking dumb."
i had slipped big time, i told him what they were.
"wiggle worms?! YOU FUCKIN' RETARD, THOES THINGS ARE
KIDSTUFF MAN!"
it started as a whisper deep in the back of my soul, something
you don't hear until you have nothing but it.. "shut up", i whispered.
"shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP shut UP
ShuT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!#$!%$#&^%#@"
it became a scream, a tear in my soul that couldn't be sewn. i
reached out my hand, i took my fingers to his eyes, i felt the warmth
surround them, i felt him wiggle and jerk around as i tore again and
again, i bit and bit at his face until i couldn't recongnize it anymore,
then i felt a massive yank on my shoulder.
the policeman tried to handcuff me but i pulled his gun out, i
fired shots in as many directions as i could think of, i tried to kill
everyone there, i was so full of hate and disease i couldn't think of
anything else to do. my very being had been torn down and destroyed in
front of my own face.
i ran home to and up to my room, covered in blood, i looked at
the worms and then i relalised what my life had become.
"bullshit BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!#", i screamed out loud.
it was all i was, stupid, bullshit, nothing. i realised i had
given my whole life up for some kind of worm that couldn't even get into
congress, i realised that i had destroyed my whole life in six days and
i would never be able to build it up again. the police would come, they
would lock me away, i would never be anything, my life would never go
anywhere.
so i ate the worms.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #802 - WRITTEN BY: NETTLE - 9/1/99 ]