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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #791
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Hoe Dream"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl and Miasma
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 8/22/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"Hoe Dream"
by AnonGirl
This is the written version of a dream I had last night.
There was a Con at my house called Conada. Everyone was hanging out
in my basement, although the tokers had to go into the laundry room to toke,
because people were being anal about the smell. I offered Quarex some tokes
and he gladly accepted them, except when he got high, he turned into the
Incredible Hulk, and started throwing my gray cat around. Mogel and Stiks
occupied my living room, because there were wrestling specials on the
illegal decoder. AltRocks was on his way to the hospital with a severed
hand, because he stuck it in one of the piranha tanks, after much warning.
Both tasha and caity were taking a shower, and jubjub was asleep on the
dining room table. I was making grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone
except the vegans, who were entitled to toast. (it was a dream)
Everything was going smoothly until suddenly, people started getting
killed. AIDS kept trying to lower my dog, Becky, into the big piranha tank,
but somehow Becky pulled some serious counter-attacks and eventually threw
AIDS into the tank. Trilobyte got electrocuted because I forgot to warn him
that the basement lightswitch is broken, and sends out a constant electric
current. tasha and caity somehow died in the shower, I don't know how.
Then the weird shit started happening. SwissPope was listening to
music with big headphones, but the headphones like, came alive, and did some
funky shit to his brain. He looked like the same ol' SwissPope, but his
eyes were darker, and unresponsive. Jamesy and PezMonkey decided that they
were going to McDonald's for supper, and took orders from everyone. The
bill came out to $251.50. TanAdept didn't notice, because he was busy
playing with my cats in the attic.
Night fell shortly after. Zombies began rising from the garden, and
killed everyone else who hadn't been killed. I don't remember any of the
zombie deaths, except for Miasma's. Instead of going directly for the
brain, this zombie only decapitated him. I found myself grabbing Miasma's
detached head, which was still alive, saying, "Oh god, please, find my body,
please." I ran around my front yard with Miasma's head in my hands,
searching for his body, to re-attach it. Suddenly, there was about fifteen
cop cars in front of my house, getting ready to shoot anything that moves.
I dropped Miasma's head and swiftly ran back into my house. No one was
left, except for SwissPope, sitting on the couch in the basement. His face
was no longer visible, because the headphones had expanded and had a strong
hold on his entire head. I felt bad for him, but at the same time, I
realized I had to get out of the house, because the cops were going to blow
it up. My brother, his girlfriend and I ditched anyone left in my house and
drove off to safety, in a Jeep Cherokee. My bro had acquired great skills
in the art of getaway driving from playing the PSX game Driver, so we made
it out of there in no time. That's pretty much it.
Conada is the gayest name.
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"Sweet Dreams"
by Miasma
As of Friday, July 30th, 1999, I had my first experience of hoes
being in my dream. Not just any hoes, but two hoes in particular, Catie and
Tashy. Of course, I have dealt much with the art of storytelling and I
refuse to let the story simply unravel into nothing so quickly. I will
build up what they call, 'suspense'.
Let me first say that I'm quite amused by my zombie head of Anon's
dream. It has to mean she wants me. I mean, c'mon... she's running around
with my head in her hands. It's all sexual. It always is. Please, sit
down, tell me your problems. Did you father sexually abuse you when you
were three? How did that make you feel? Excuse me for a moment, I need to
smoke my pipe to complete the effect.
Oh yes, My dream.
In fact, it fits in well with Anon's dream. We'll stick me in right
in between Tashy and Caity in the shower. Not literally, but, well,
literally enough.
Prior to this part of the dream, I had been examining this immaculate
mansion, strewn over from head to toe with the deepest shade of blue and the
richest shade of gold.
The time is close to 3am. The sky is the same shade of blue as parts
of the mansion, mixed with black in a cloud layer in photoshop 5.0.
After examining the residence, I was transported into a shower that
looked remarkably familiar to the one of my own home. After I step out of
the shower on to the towel which lies on top of the pink rounded tile, I
grabbed a towel from the rack and dried myself off. I wrapped the towel
around my waist, and then secured it by tucking the corner of the outside
layer in the inside layer. I stepped outside of the bathroom, exposing my
dampened skin to the cooler temperatures of the outside air. The hair on my
body stood on end like a poached salmon in an afghanistan dilido factory. I
turned left slightly and walked down the cooridor into my room. I sat down
on my bed, which was of course a decent facsimilie of my own bed and was not
surprised to see Caity sitting to the left of me and Tashy to the right of
me. Tashy was extremely quiet, with only her simple grin fixed on her face.
I guess some things stay in constant in the unconscious. Caity on the other
hand was quite loquacious. So loquacious, in fact, that I felt she liked to
use her mouth. She was slyly, yet noticeably, staring at the bulge which
had accumulated beneath the towel.
I'll take away slightly from the mood here, as to tell you that this
dream lasted about .3 seconds in realtime. In dream time, I believe it
lasted about five.
Right, my crotch.
She was staring at it, and as a result, I think I said something to
her. The words, even though they would add to the effect of drama here, are
of no importance. I could have said "My, those speckled-goose eggs sure are
the cat's pajama's." I didn't. But I could have. All would be the same.
She might have said something to me in return. Again, I don't
believe it was of any importance. It could have been, "Damn, I'd love to
make sweet love to you while tearing your body apart with a meat cleaver."
I don't think it was. But again, it could have. It would make no
difference. For all intensitive purposes, she said "I like my chickens with
nipples but no lips."
I leaned back on my bed, my back was fully against the quilted
sheets. She took her hand and untucked the towel. She removed one layer
and then the other, exposing what one might call a one-eyed snake. I do not
refer to it in this fashion. It is my penis, an extension of myself.
Caity was surprised by my manhood. At least she didn't say, "My,
you're short!" like she said when she first saw me at the con. I'm not sure
how she was surprised, but I think it was in a good way.
Unfortunately, my dream ends here. There is no sex, there is no
dancing circus bears, there is no fun. It just ends. Yes, Tashy barely
played a role, but her presence must have been there for some reason. I
think the reason behind this dream was the fact that I haven't masturbated
in about three weeks at this point. The body I believe needs to do
something with the fluid in the seminal vacules. No liquid escaped from my
seminal vacules during this dream, however. Nor did a soupy mixture of the
stuff that contains the blueprint for half a human being.
Pity.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #791-BY: ANONGIRL AND MIASMA - 8/22/99 ]