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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #744
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Booth 53"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Etienne
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/22/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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So, I'd like this thing up my ass you see. It is small. Any idea
yet? OK, OK, it is hard and used to be shiny but it got very dull over the
years. Can you guess what this wonderful contraption might be?
"Is it your finger?"
No.
"Is it a dildo?"
NO!
"An Alaskan dick?"
NOOO!
I might as well reveal this superb piece of machinery. It is a
trusty musty pewter syringe. I know, when the word syringe comes up you
think pointy sharp thing poking and prodding at your body like a
cheeseburger on wheels. But think 19th century, even better..think..1880.
Imagine yourself lying around on green and lavender silk sheets with red
velour curtains drawn shut, and your extremely constipated. What are you to
do when in such dire need of medical attention? Why, turn to your French
doctor that has brought over with him the latest in technology of course!
This doctor, he brings with him three beautiful nurses. They are
wearing their cute little white aprons and all you can think about is what
color their corset might be. All is well and good besides the fact that
your feces is dry and hardened making evacuation difficult and infrequent.
In other words, your shit is stuck way the hell up our ass and you can't get
it out. While your dream of pinks and yellows the doctor whips out his
trusty musty device and shows it to you.
"This is the latest of our French technologies. BAH, Americans know
nothing of advances in medical science. I spit on them!" "Patooey!"
This device is a tubular piece of thick pewter, measuring around 12
inches long and 3 1/2 inches wide, with a screw on top to remove the wooden
plunger. At the end of this piece is a screw cap that has a good sized hole
in it. Attached to that protruding hole is a yellowed small rubber tube.
And, from that rubbery tube is an even smaller tube of pewter that is about
2 1/2 inches long and has a small void in the center. Interesting, Eh?
Well suppose they suggest they are going to fill this tube with some vile
smelling liquid, place the small pewter tube up your ass while squatting
over a large bucket. How is that for technology!
Every day I go into work I take a look at that piece of metal and
wonder what it would feel like to have that nice smooth and round metal up
my ass. Oh the Dee-Lites I would enjoy!
"John, your wanted at the front desk. We need item number:
931980709."
There goes my chance!
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #744 - WRITTEN BY: ETIENNE - 7/22/99 ]