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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #661
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "An Open Letter to HOE"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by AIDS
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/31/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Jarett Kobek
211 Thompson Street, Apt #GLE
New York, NY
10012
May 20th, 1999
To Whom It May Concern:
It is with a shameful sadness that I write this letter to you.
Members of the HOE Community, I have openly wronged you. Yea, even as I
was doing it, I knew that I was committing a horrible error, but still I
went through with it, hoping that perhaps it would be as bad as everyone
told me. Still, I did it, and now I must deal with the consequences of my
actions.
The purpose of this letter is to apologize to everyone else, who
must also deal with the consequences of my actions. It is an unfair
imposition on both your emotional and intellectual cognitive functions,
and for that I am sorry. I never really meant to hurt any of you.
Perhaps you wonder of which I speak.
Of course, I can only be referring to the induction of Unrelated
into HOE. He is a full fledged member because of me. I personally
demanded that Mogel make him a member. It is my fault that we shall
forever be deluged with his witty commentaries on the American youth scene,
particularly centered on East Chitlun Switch, Iowa. It is my fault that we
shall forever suffer under the hideous yoke of files that discuss Trends,
Hipness, What It Means to Be Truly Cool (With Apologies to Henry Winkler),
Marilyn Manson, Why Rap Sucks, Why Black People Need to Learn English,
Why I'm Not Racist Even Though Black People Need to Learn English, Why
Christianity is Stupid (With Apologies to Negativland), Why It's Fucked Up
That People Keep Stealing My Backpack and Using It for a Toilet, Society is
Pretty Stupid, People Are Stupid, People Are Jerks, Isn't it Fucked How
People at The Mall Suck?, Trends, Hipness, What It Means to Be Truly Cool
(With Apologies to Henry James), Twiggy Ramierez, Why Rap Blows, Why Black
People Need to Get Jobs, Why I'm Not Racist Even Though I Oppose a Decadent
and Wasteful Welfare System, Why EYEHATEGOD.TXT, Why It's Fucked Up That
People Keep Mistaking My Face for a Toilet, People REALLY are Stupid,
People REALLY are Jerks, and, of course, the perennial favorite, Isn't It
Fucked How the Mall BLOWS?
I feel a lot like Hindenburg when he heard that Hitler really won
the elections. The SA are at our door, the VisiGOTH hordes are outside of
Rome, and Unrelated is running unchecked, and there's nothing we can do to
stop him.
At the very least, dear fellows, take this as a minor consolation
prize. I am humbled before you, humbled before my own idiocy, and humbled
before God, (who, by the way, I hear sucks pretty bad.) I am,
Sincerely Yours,
Jarett Kobek
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #661 - WRITTEN BY: AIDS - 5/31/99 ]