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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #653
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "The Sea Witch, aka
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 The Seventh Son of a Seventh Son"
888 888 888 888 888 " by Ashtray Heart
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/22/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Let me tell you about a customer at my brother's place of
employment. The reason Paul knows his name is because he has a nice little
name tag, which proudly proclaims him "Sea Witch, Seventh Son of a Seventh
Son". Apparently he's unrelated to the Sea Hag of Popeye cartoons.
The Sea Witch's uncle owned the car the little girl landed on in
"The Omen". Also, you know how all the double agents are being killed in
Russia? That's him doing it. You see, as the Sea Witch, the Seventh Son
of a Seventh Son, he can be in seven different dimensions at one time.
And in fact, a UFO landed in his front yard just last week. So he took
himself and President Clinton and President Reagan and put them in a
dimension with the guy with slicked-back hair and the green turned-up
collar. You know the guy with the slicked-back hair and the green
turned-up collar, don't you? Of course you do. And actually, he won the
election for the Clintons last time, because Bill and Hilary flew in on a
helicopter and asked for help. So what he did is he took a bunch of young
girls and he took 'em out to Ballard High School and he fed 'em to snakes.
He didn't like doing it, but you know, that's what you gotta do to win an
election. Also, you know the character "Bane" from "Batman and Robin",
played by Jeep Swenson? Well, he was in the book of Revelations, and he
came to destroy the world.
The Sea Witch only rents war movies, and he has this strange way of
talking. Like the neighbor on Beavis and Butthead. Tom, or something. He
didn't like the Walking Dead, because it was all about black soldiers. The
Seventh Son of a Seventh Son is a white guy. An old white guy. He looks
kind of like your grandfather, if your grandfather is skinny and not dead
yet.
That's all we know so far about the Sea Witch, the Seventh Son of a
Seventh Son. More updates as we get 'em.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #653-WRITTEN BY: ASHTRAY HEART-5/22/99 ]