💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › HOE › hoe-0643.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 12:36:59.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #643
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Ten Reasons Why I am Single"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Juliet
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/17/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
10) "I like being alone"
i like being alone. it's not that i hate everyone, i mean having
friends is fun. i just like my privacy. i like to go to the movies alone.
i go to the library and read, by myself. i like to take walks on the
beach.. with just myself. plus when i'm alone the eleet ratio is 1:1.
9) "I am neurotic"
i am a basket-case. i cant predict my moodswings, how the hell can
a prospective mate. one day i'm miss perky princess, three hours later i
am hysterically crying because of some stupid thing i saw on the news.
8) "I don't date guys who try to pick me up"
i can't respect a guy who tries to score my number at a
bar/bookstore/my shrink's office. he obviously only is attracted to the
physical, therefore he can go die. i would never try to pick up on someone
like that, because .. umm.. well im insecure.
7) "I don't answer my phone"
i guess this goes in the "wanting to be alone catagory". i don't
like answering the phone. whenever i do actually answer it, it is always
someone i don't want to talk to. i screen my calls, call back about 1/4 of
the people who actually leave a message. anyone who wants to talk to me
that badly can leave me email.
6) "My dog sleeps in my bed"
my dog is my baby. he sleeps cuddled up next to me. he is 1/2 pit
bull, 1/2 beagle. he is so-fucking-adorable it makes me go "awwwwww".
most guys are not willing to share sleeping space with my babydog. they
can sleep on the floor.
5) "I live in a geriatric town"
i live in ft. myers, florida. 85% of the population is retired.
the few people who are in my dating range i either already know, or i don't
want to know.
4) "No one I date likes my friends"
i am a tomboy in a dress. since i was about, oh i don't know.. an
embryo i always hung out with mostly boys. even the boys i meet as
"friends first" later on wind up feeling threatened by my friends with
penises. they insist that they just want to fuck me. it gets annoying.
3) "It is fun to whine about being single"
being single is a fun thing to complain about. especially when i'm
around my friends who are having lovelife problems. it is also something
to write textfiles about.
2) "I don't have to anyone to explain myself to anyone"
i can go out and drink myself into a stupor. i can go fuck that
cute boy across town. i can do all the drugs i want. i have no "life
partner" to explain myself to. my life is mine.
1) "Boyfriends take away from my IRC time"
irc is fun. it is a great time waster, is more fun than tv, yet it
is just as brain-numbing. when i have a boyfriend, they always wind up
upset that i'm cuddling up to my keyboard.
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #643 - WRITTEN BY: JULIET - 5/17/99 ]