💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › HOE › hoe-0632.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 12:36:37.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #632
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Just a Prediction.."
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Anjee
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/11/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
-=[ The Scene: Mogel and Styx are standing in the hotel lobby
patiently awaiting the arrival of their fellow HOE members. Mogel is
holding up a sign on which "ALL HOES HERE!" is written in big black
letters, while Styx is dressed in a sexy red velvet dress and playing his
guitar. A small group of lazer-tag fanatics are hanging not too far
away. ]=-
Styx: Oh no, lazer-tag bitches. LAZER TAG SUCKS!! THEY MUST BE DESTROYED
BEFORE THEY BREED.
Mogel: You should ask them to write for HOE.
-=[ Within an hour, all HOEs have arrived and begin heading to
their respective rooms. Elevator doors open to seaya just standing there
and smiling. ]=-
Seaya: To exit the elevator, you must say the secret password!
TanAdept: luv luv luv, luv luv.
<Leah moves and lets g0ff (and Anna) out. The others close the
elevator doors and get off on the next floor, taking the stairs back down
a level.>
Tasha: <running around the hall singing>. WAITING FOR THE CHILDREN OF THE
COLD WAR TO DIIIEEEE
-=[ Everybody is separated in two different rooms. Smoking and non-
-smoking. Darwin is alone in the non smoking room writing a text on hotel
stationary entitled "100 reasons why Anjee sucks". In the other room,
Meenk is laying on the bed showing Caitlin her various piercings and
subtlely seducing her, meanwhile all the others sit on the floor and
talk. ]=-
Neko: I read this really boring page on the internet before I left, I
will now completely recite it for all of you.
TanAdept: 251!
seaya: 5049! hehehe, luv!!@#!
-=[ TanAdept and Seaya move to the other side of the room and begin
playing "Guess what number I am thinking of, luv" for a few hours, TanAdept
guesses 251 and 5049. As for Seaya, she guesses "1 l1k3 g1rl5!@#!"
AnonGirl starts convulsing due to this unknown and disliked feeling of
sobriety that has come upon her. SwissPope is sitting behind her, mumbling
about the Czech Republic. ]=-
SwissPope: ....the Czech Republic has always .. <words soon fade into slow
blah blah, anyone listening is hypnotized.>
AnonGirl: <stares blankly at Swisspope> Hey kreid, let's go drink some
vodka and smoke weed all night, I haven't smoked in 14 hours!
Kreid: OKAY, LETS GO! I LOVE DRUGS
Mogel: Get the drugs to write for hoe! And while you do that, I will try
to convince a hot chick to give me a blowjob.
-=[ AnonGirl and Kreid gather their drugs and booze, heading over to
Darwin's room. ]=-
Tasha: As the young one's begin their wandering through crack houses,
leverage buyouts, tv news, legal claims and taxes la la la
Styx: Dan Bern rules, tasha!!!
Caitlin: <screaming from the other room> Yeah! What he said!
Anjee: <giggles and flips her hair>
isaac: Tashaaaaaa... oh Taaaaaaaaaaaaaasssshhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa.. tasha!
hi! hello tasha! tasha! hi!)#&$(%
AltRocks: Shut up Isaac. You're making my life worse than it already is.
Because of you I may end up getting a 4th psychiatrist and be
put on much more pills. Then I'll have to write a HOE file
about my terrible, shitty, pathetic life and dedicate it to you!
<Altrocks hides in the bathtub and cries.>
AIDS: That would be a terrible, shitty, pathetic thing to do,
AltRocks! Resist the temptation and spare us the agony. And
you, Isaac, don't provoke him.
Jamesy: Shut up, AIDS!
AIDS: HAHAHA!
Jamesy: Just shut up, AIDS!
phairgirl: I'm so glad I don't have to work at Wendy's for a few days!
And it brings me great joy to know I am out of Dubuque.
PezMonkey: At least you aren't stuck with an extremely annoying roomate
like the one I have right now.
Hardkore: Do you think she would sleep with me? <draws a squiggly winking
smiley face -> ;} on a piece of paper and holds it up for all
to see.>
Mogel: Back off, man, I want to get laid first. I'm cute and I'm
silly, that is what girls go for! OH! And I also happen to
have an ENORMOUS COCK!
Anilos: That behavior annoys me, Mogel. I think I will add that to
"Things That Annoy Me, Episode 3".txt when I get back home!
Daisy: You're in the middle of writing a t-file too, Anilos? I'm
writing about how no one cares about me except my boyfriend--
because he's the greatest boy in the universe that is!
RottenZ: I'm writing "My ninth HOE file by RottenZ".
Mogel: You all are the best for writing for hoe. Get your friends to
write for HOE!
Gweeds: I wrote down a whole bunch of URLs on a piece of paper and
XeroXed it for each and every one of you!
TanAdept: How many are there? 251???
-=[ Caitlin and Meenk exit the room, both with satisfied looks on
their faces. ]=-
Gweeds: hmm..
Soybean: HELLO. I AM HERE. ACKNOWLEDGE ME.
Styx: You just sounded like some chick from some horrible movie I saw
a while back, Soybean. I hate movies.
Caitlin: So do I.
Styx: I _love_ Dan Bern, though!
Caitlin: So do I.
tasha: <breaks out in a Dan Bern song>
isaac: OH TASHA!! You're there!! hi tasha!@)$*!
Reflecks: doo wah ditty poo poo yum. woodah nee oh ray ray!
Anjee: You are awesome, reflecks! Have you heard the story about when I
poo'd a smartie? <giggles and flips hair>
I refuse to continue this.
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #632 - WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 5/11/99 ]