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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #618
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Help for Those in Need"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Twister
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/9/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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N'sync fans are swarming over the earth. Scientists predict that
by the year 2000 75% of the population will love N'sync. The other 25%
will have gone into hiding by then. HOE really needs to start a
revolution. We must help those poor little teeny-boppers. They are
ruining themselves, and poisoning our minds. For the love of all that is
holy, I live in utah! There is no escape from those crappy boy groups. I
can no longer listen to the radio safely. Please, join my crusade, invade
their chatrooms, message boards and convert them. Offer them my 12 step
program:
1. Throw away all magazines containing the afore mentioned boy
groups.
2. Redecorate your room, chances are it's plastered with their
posters.
3. Discard any clothing bearing their trademarks or pictures.
4. Withdraw your membership from their fan-clubs.
5. Record over any tapes containing their appearances, interviews,
etc.
6. Your halfway there, just don't tape anything else, or buy
anything containing the dreaded boy groups.
7. When they come on the radio or tv, turn the channel. If you
live in Utah and there is no escape, turn the radio/tv OFF.
8. If you live with a fellow fan, who does not want to be
rehabilitated, move out immediately.
9. You will experience a withdrawal, when you start to experience
shakes, chills, headaches, and panic, you are in withdrawal.
Head off to the wilderness with a bottle of Mad Dog, and payote,
so you can be cleansed spiritually of all the demons. And so
you are too intoxicated to experience anything but a hangover.
10. Listen to 12 hours of music. And no, N'sync does not qualify
to be called music. Some good choices are: Shawn Mullins,
Beth Orton, Lauren Hill, Wyclef Jean, Busta Rhymes, Garbage,
Sheryl Crowe, Fiona Apple, and Korn. Listen until you no longer
feel the need to abuse your ears with N'Sync.
11. Help others. Don't be aggressive, yet, that is step 12.
Kindly point out other sounds to listen to. Change their cd's
often with the approved of music. Change radio stations
often. Be kind, but firm. Your friends are in a delicate
condition but, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!
12. Join the crusade. Invade chatrooms, get into arguments,
debates, be aggressive. E-mail this message to everyone you
know. You are recovered, but if a relapse should happen follow
#9, and this time take the good music with you, 2 bottles of
Mad Dog, and stay for 2 weeks.
Thank you very much. This fine list was written by Kyra Walton,
who is now in professional therapy because of the inescapable N'Sync.
"I tried to block it out, but then they started playing N'Sync over the PA
system at school, and I didn't have anywhere to go." Kyra has always
despised boy groups, and is progressing in a lifelong crusade against the
evil messages they spread.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #618 - WRITTEN BY: TWISTER - 5/9/99 ]