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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #562
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Friends"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Phairgirl
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/11/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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A friend is someone who is there for you when you have problems.
A friend is someone who listens.
A friend is someone who calms you down when you're upset.
A friend is someone you spend time and have fun with.
Blah, blah, blah. What kind of fairy tale bullshit is that?
I've had many *friends*, ever since I can remember communicating
with people. My friends ranged from Rhonda and Amy, who gave me lice a
bunch of times, to Kelly who moved away to California, to Terri who chose
her other friends over me, to Wendy who wouldn't stop BUGGING me, to
Heidi, who stole a bunch of my stuff, to Jenny, who was a messed up
psycho, to Charity, who fucked my boyfriend and almost left me homeless
and still owes me a ton of money.
Needless to say, I don't like having friends.
However, it is necessary to socialize and have fun and generally
keep a decent peace of mind, or risk complete and total insanity. This
brings me to my current set of friends, whose names I will NOT say,
because I still count them as my friends, even though some are about to
go the way of Rhonda and Amy.
Friend #1: Met over the Internet. Dated for a bit, but then decided
to be just friends. Met in person, did the sex thing. Went back to being
just friends. Now tells me all the shit his girlfriend talks about me
behind my back, then yells at me for calling her on it.
Friend #2: Lent him money for rent. Got him a job when he was
desperate, then acted like a complete fuck-up and general ass until (thank
goodness) he got fired. Tells me he'll pay me back *someday*, then asks
me if he can borrow *more* money. Now hangs out with the crowd he was
trying to get away from by hanging around with me, and acts like a
jackass.
Friend #3: Owes me money. Asks for asinine favors sometimes (and
drives me up the wall in general, although not always in a bad way). Is
turning into a major pothead and alienating his closest friends in the
process by ditching them for the wacky weed, doesn't call, doesn't e-mail.
Treading on thin ice at this point.
Friend #4: Tells a lot of stupid lies for no reason. Drives me up
the wall, but she's a total sweetheart. On the worst day I've had at work
in months, she invites me to a hot tub party. THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO.
And people wonder why I have four cats and am always online
fiendishly downloading mp3s and listening to music and watching anime and
working as many hours a week as possible.
Be my friend?
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #562 - WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 4/11/99 ]