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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #526
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8 
    888     888 888      888 888                  "Auto Disconnect"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8                
    888     888 888      888 888    "               by PezMonkey
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o              3/21/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        Okay, so i was reading neko's file (HOE #517) this week, and like,
 i thought, "hey, he's relaying his day,"  so then i got the idea to do
 that, too.  because i've been meaning to write some stuff for hoe, but i
 haven't gotten around to it.  and then i thought, "you know, i shhould
 really do this like AS I"M DOING IT," so that way it won't be a lie when
 i say "i do this, i do that" in present tense.  man, the puncutation in
 that last sentence was pretty fucked up.  so anyway, then i went looking
 for a pen and a piece of paper to like, carry around with me while i wrote
 down my day, you know?  but i'm not at my apartment, and i'm now using
 notepad on the computer to write it, and i've already sort of failed,
 because i started this whole thing out in past tsense, but now i'm in the
 present, so maybe it's okay.  right.  so this kind of sucks now, because
 if i want to keep doing this, er writing it as i'm doing it, i have to
 stay at the computer and can't go anywhere.  okay, yeah.  so now i'm
 reading neko's file.  or i'm about to finish reading it, but i can't type
 this and read it at the same time because i can only have one thing at the
 front at a time on the computer.  okay, neko's file.

        well, that was a lie.  first i looked back on mirc to see what was
 going on.  i couldn't really figure out what anyone was talking about
 anymore, though, becauzse it'd been a while since i'd last looked, and i
 didn't want to bother scrolling up or anytyhing.  so right, neko.

        okay, so i went to pee, and i was thinking of all kinds of things i
 could say for this little hoe thing, and then i started thinking how that
 wouldn't be fair because i'd just said that would write as things were
 happening.  but then on my way back, my friend pat's mom (i'm staying at
 pat's house for spring break), out of nowwhere is like, LINDSEY!#$%  and
 i'm like, "whoa, what???"  i thought i was in trouble, which is totally
 not cool with other people's parents, but it just turned out that she
 wanted to give me 3 dollars back because i had given her 3 dollars to pay
 for my sub from subway earlier tonight, but she was li,e, "we boought them
 with coupons, you didn't need to give me any money," so that was cool.
 free dinner.  and then i came back hree, and i looke dat irc, and matt/styx
 was talking about something i wanted to tell here, but now i can't remember
 it, so nevermind.  so now i'm listening to this r&b music, and i kind of
 dig it, which is cool because usually i'm not into r&b.  but my fingers
 are starting to hurt, right at the knuckle whre the fingers connect to the
 hand, because i have my wrists wresting on the table, which is like, a bad
 habit, and the keyboard it tilted up.  i hate it when people do that.
 tilted up keyboards are so stupid.  so my friend pat is upstairs asleep,
 and i'm supposed to wake her up to write a history paper soohn. . .
 actually, i don't awnt to tell this part.  oh, neko's thing!  okay, afk,
 reading that.  i hear it talks about him giving cunni, which is totally
 not an image i want, but like, i want to read it for humor value.  or just
 like, personal shock value.  okay, afk, er, not really afk, but like, away
 from THIS PART of the screen.  you know what i mean.  i'm goin got go read
 neko's thing.

        okay, thers' this girl called "metchick" that's always beihng
 talked about in the channel, and i really don't understand who she is.  i
 got her conf8used with "metal chick" for a while, but they're so not the
 same person, because everyone hates this metchick girl, and they're always
 dissing on her.  hold on, let me look at the channel some more.  Oh haha,
 this is so awesome!  i was looking at neko's thing again, and i noticed
 that pat's mouse has this little like, button thing in the middle, only
 it's a wheel, and it allows me to scroll without using the arrows on the
 side.  that's awesome.  or at least, i like, _i_ think it's cool.
 whatever.  okay.

        okay, so i'm pretty far into neko's thing, and it's like, the whole
 thing is this total pretense.  no one talks that way, and i don't even
 know if it's funny.  i mean, i don't think it's funny right now, but maybe
 that's just becaiuse i'm not in the mood to figure out if something's
 funny or not, but the whole thing is kind of like, i don't know.  it's
 just so put on, like this act.  but i've been thinking that about a lot of
 things tonight.  i tried to explain this in the channel eralier, but it
 came off pretty stupidly, so i was just like, "okay, i was JUST thinking
 that!  nevermind!  hehe!"  to like, "nevermind" it.  right.  but i still
 think it.  so yeah, back to this article.  er, neko's.  afk.  you know
 what i mean.

        ACXK!#%)(#!*%!@#$)*%(%%$  Neko is not allowed to write this!!:

 >.        Dryla and I often shared laughter over the book.  She'd come
 over for a meal of fried hot dogs and we would read proper etiquette on
 how I should seat her, feed her, and treat her.  Then we'd blow off all
 the silly rules and fuck.<<

        I was like, NOT EXPECTING THAT~!!@#  i was just readint the first
 part of the paragraph, and i'm like, "oh, how formal this sounds.  i
 wonder why he's writing all formally all of a sudden.  it sounds kind of
 silly."  and then he got DIRTY@#$%#!  i was shocked~@  okay, back to the
 article.

        OH GOD.  MORE..

 >>I dropped my rod in the bottom of the canoe and realized
   that I had been in love with Dryla.  The way she smiled.  The way she
   laughed.  The way she sucked cock. <<

        i don't even like, think i want to continue readin g this, but it's
 like, a car wreck, where like you k eep looking even though it's all
 gruesome.  actually, it's nothing like that.  nevermind.  okay, yeah, i
 actua,lly really don't want to go back to it.

 back to the channel:

 <SwissPope> <METchiCK> i am ahead on my birthcontrol
 <SwissPope> <METchiCK> ??
 <SwissPope> <METchiCK> i dunno get it
 <anjeela> heehee

        and that's kind of it, you know?  that's what every conversation
 comes down to in the end.  that's not some like, made up article, some
 pretense.  that's real.  the end.

        whoa, wait, this album, the roots, i think they just said, "i do
 the hamster dance, werd, my nigger"  that's CRAZY      ~#!  hamster dance.

        right, so i'm done. i'm not going to edit or revise.  i'm sending it
 to mogel!  right now!  or, well, i'm not actruallly, because if i were, i
 couldn't be typing this.  okay, well, you know what i mean.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #526 - WRITTEN BY: PEZMONKEY - 3/21/99 ]