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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #503
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Internet Dating Services"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/8/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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When dating services were first introduced quite some time ago, no
one thought that it would lead to such things as telephone dating systems,
or internet dating services. The last page of a local tabloid would
suddenly become the domain of "Jenny's Make a New Friend Club", instead of
the regular mail-order vitamins page. The establishment of such
television shows such as 'Love Connection' and 'The Dating Game' had also
helped North America accept the idea of blind dating.
However, it was a much bigger task to get onto a personals page.
One had to send a letter with their profile to the service, and wait
months to actually get their ad posted. Plus, getting on the Dating Game
was nearly impossible. But, with the convenience of the internet, all
that has changed. One can log onto the internet, go to an internet dating
site, and have a profile posted within five minutes of being logged on.
Anyone.
The Dating Game recruited contestants who were fairly decent, both
in mind and body. Although every dating gimmick has its losers, these
people were at least tolerable, to an extent. People who sent their ads
to personals in magazines and what not, were much more desperate, but were
able enough to send their letters in. Internet dating services are the
melting pot of anyone who is lacking in sex or love. Sure, their excuse
is they haven't got any time for singles bars or meeting people, but when
it comes down to it, these are the most desperate people on earth, which
leads to the point of this t-file: Internet dating services will slowly
lead to the end of the world.
Research claims that in twenty years, internet dating services will
be the number one method of meeting people, in North America, Europe and
Asia. 80% of the people using these services are looking for discreet
affairs during their lunch hour. The other 20% are looking for either
marriage, or just a new friend, which has a .7% success rate. An
estimated 45% of the people looking for discreet sex actually get it.
The rest just give up on the idea of getting any, ever.
The folks who do wind up fucking are pretty much looking for
something without strings. They aren't looking to have children with
their one-night stands. If the majority of these people now are not
looking to settle down, and decide to just keep on fucking until they die,
then the future is extremely dim. If the theory that everyone will be
using internet dating as their key to meeting people in twenty years is
true, and if 80% of them are still looking for discreet affairs, the birth
rate in North America, Europe and Asia will drop enormously. This will
result in a population falling in the age range of 50+, having one night
stands, and because of internet dating services, there will be no children
left by the time these services have completely taken over. And when
internet dating services do take over these three places, the entire world
will be connected by then, slowly ensuring the extinction of the human
race as we know it.
Amazingly enough, a good number of people managed to meet people in
real life, for say, the last millenium. Why can't they now? Laziness.
The under-developped countries will be the last ones laughing.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #503 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/8/99 ]