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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #467 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Misery Takes a Victim" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Postal !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/27/99 !!
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There are things that confuse us all. There are things that boggle
the mind. There are things that leave us feeling down and empty. Well,
I'm going to address a common thought that enters our heads at one time.
Self-worth. Now, I know that we all think of ourselves as either
terrific people or ass heads (like the ones that appear on Jerry Springer.
Boy, do I hate that show, but that is another story). This particular
exercise, will deal with my twisted thought patterns.
So, last night, I was in the big thriving Metropolis that is
closest to me (consisting of 10,000 people roughly. Thriving, huh!?!).
I decided I'd try a cheap alternative to supper and eat at the local Taco
Bell. Sure their food is made with dogs and cats and shit, but what the
hell, so long as I don't find a hoof or something like that in my chili
cheese burrito. So anyway, I'm eating a Taco Burrito Supreme. Now, my
mind tells me that the name is severely incorrect. There is NO way that
it has the right to be called a taco burrito supreme. It is a damn
burrito. It's not a taco. Personally, it's giving false hope to me and
a hell of a lot of other people. "Hey! I'm gonna get the best of both
worlds. A taco AND a burrito!" But when you get it, all it is, is a damn
burrito. Supreme my ass!
I get ready to take a bite of this fake-as-hell product, when I
notice something. A little dabble of sour cream. Now, I don't dislike
sour cream, I certainly don't like it, whatever. I take my bite. To my
dismay, I find a mouthful of sour cream awaited me. Now what the hell is
that all about. There is two and a half gallons of fucking sour cream on
my taco... or.. um.. burrito. SPREAD THE FUCKING WEALTH. Of course,
being the cynic that I am, I think of how this is typical for me. I have
a big mouthful of sour cream. Now, if there were some one next to me,
say, a girlfriend (dare I say the word), I could have ranted on about how
I didn't want a mouthful of sour cream. But do I have anyone next to me?
HELL NO!! So in the best interest of myself and, really everyone, I
decided to come up with a theory on what brings misery. Here goes.
The main thing that I've found to bring misery and unhappiness in
life is... the fucking taco burrito supreme. Yes, I blame everything on
that shitty burrito. World hunger... taco burrito supreme. Death and
destruction... taco burrito supreme, with extra sour cream! Global
warming... that fucking taco burrito-la-cucarachita-en-me-pene-doesn't-
-deserve-to-be-called-a-damn-taco-supreme,
WITH EXTRA SOUR CREAM.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #467, WRITTEN BY: POSTAL - 1/27/99 !!