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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #376 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Teletype's First Lay" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Squinky !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/25/98 !!
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PERSONS OF THE DIALOGUE: Teletype, Meenk.
Meenk: Welcome, teletype, Are you from your native city of Warwick?
Teletype: No, Meenk; but from Boston, where I attended the festival of
Asclepius.
Meenk: And do the Bostonians have contests of rhapsodies at the
festival?
Teletype: O yes; and all sorts of bizarre accents. They harmonize with
the R as an H, and the like.
Meenk: So I have heard. And were you one of the competitors, did you
succeed?
Teletype: I could not get off my fatass, Meenk, for I am sorely turgid
in weight.
Meenk: Poorly done, and I hope you will do more for us at the
Panathenaea.
Teletype: And I will, and it please Heaven.
Meenk: I admire the fatass, teletype, for you always have nothing to
do but get larger. Many are the days that I wish I could sit
around in front of monochrome green terminals slowly
radiating myself out of children. Then again, you are
continually obliged to be in the company of many good
fatasses, and especially of Dennis m. Ritchie and Larry Wall,
who are the best and most divine of them. And no man can be
a fatass who does not understand the meaning of fat. For the
fatass ought to interpret the collective fat of his
predecessors and through a sort of photosynthesis make a new
fat for himself, ever increasing his girth and width, but how
can he interpret fat unless he knows what he means? All of
this is to be greatly envied.
Teletype: Very true, Meenk. Interpretation has certainly been the most
laborious part of my art, for else I sit around eating
cheetos, and I believe myself to speak better about fat
storage than any man; and that neither Linus Torvadeli, nor
Larry Ellison, nor Glaucon, nor anyone else who ever was, had
as much fat as I have now, nor as great a reverence as I.
Meenk: I am glad to hear you say so, Teletype, I see that you will
not refuse to acquaint me with them.
Teletype: Certainly Meenk, and you really ought to see how exquisitely
I transform food into blubber. I think that USENET should give
me a golden crown.
Meenk: I shall take an opportunity of watching you grow larger
before mine own eyes at some other time. But just now I should
like to ask you a question: Does you art extend to liquids
and gas, or to solids only?
Teletype: To solids only,it in itself is quite enough.
Meenk: Are there times when both liquid and solid have the same fat
content?
Teletype: Yes; in my opinion there are a good many.
Meenk: And can you better process the solid, or the liquid, in the
instances in which they have the same fat content?
Teletype: I can process them equally well they are both utterly
unnutrious in nature.
Meenk: But what about the instances in which they do not agree?
-- for example, a happy meal, of which both liquid and solid
are contents --
Teletype: Very true.
Meenk: Would you or a lard ass be a better converter of the
occurances of simultaneously appearances of both of these
phases, not only when they are the same, but when they are
different?
Teletype: A lard ass.
Meenk: And if you were a lard ass, would you be able to convert them
when they are different as well as when they are the same?
Teletype: Clearly.
Meenk: But how did you come to have this ability with solids only,
and not about liquids or the other phases? Do not solids
contain the same fat that all others have? Is not pure
excess its great argument? and does it not deal with your
fat ass and of the intercourse of other fatasses, good and
bad, skilled and unskilled, and of the I.V. bag dripping pure
fatuous mana into the very veins of fatasses everywhere, and
about what happens in the Land of Lard and in the Dietary
Gymnasium, and generations of fat asses and lard asses? Is
this not what solids deal with?
Teletype: Very true, Meenk.
Meenk: And do not other phases contain the same?
Teletype: Yes, Meenk, but not in the same way as solids.
Meenk: What, in a worse way?
Teletype: Yes, in a far worse way.
Meenk: And solids in a better way?
Teletype: It is incomparably better.
Meenk: And yet surely, my dear lover Teletype, in a discussion of
starches, where many starchy foods are present, and one is
starchier than the rest, there is someone who can judge
which of them has the highest levels of starch?
Teletype: Yes.
Meenk: And he who judges of the good will be the same as he who
judges of the bad speakers?
Teletype: The same.
Meenk: And he will be a nutritionist?
Teletype: Yes.
Meenk: And do you remember the first night on which we made love, and
I took from you your maidenhead?
Teletype: Truly, I do.
Meenk: Do you hold me in contempt for doing so? Have I unjustly
sexualized you? Were you not ready to make sweet love
beneath the starry sky?
Teletype: No, Meenk, I do not believe I was capable. While I was capable
of penetrating you, and causing the utmost of sensory
pleasures, I feel that perhaps I was too young at the time. I
was still healing, at the time, from the various emotional
wounds that my father inflicted upon me as a teenager.
Meenk: You did not find the love making a soothing balm for your
pain?
Teletype: While I may have found the inner chambers of your steaming
pussy a comforting sensory pleasure, I must confess, Meenk,
that I found it more corrupting to the emotional hurt that I
suffered from at the time.
Meenk: But sometimes, Teletype, can not further wounding be a boon?
What of the leech the physican places on the wound? Does
this not eventually heal the patient, while initially causing
discomfort?
Teletype: While I must confess this to be true, I must also hasten to
add that I have yet to feel any emotional benefits from your
steamy pussy and clenching muscles.
Meenk: I see.
Teletype: In fact, I believe that you used me, to further your own
worldly goals.
Meenk: How so, teletype?
Teletype: I believe that you saw me as an opportunity to rise up the
hierarchy of the Form of Slut. You saw me as yet another
conquest to bring you that much closer to the ultimate
fulfillment of the Idea of Slut. To you, I was merely
another rung on the ladder.
Meenk: Perhaps it is so.
Teletype: It is with the greatest pleasure that I embrace sweet Revenge
and inform you of a great truth I have learned in life, since
our moments of lovemaking. Indeed, it is even sweeter
revenge to know that I came upon this truth after hours of
contemplative thought, thought I was thrust into due mainly
to your sexual advances towards me.
Meenk: Please, Teletype, tell me what it is you know!
Teletype: That ultimate fulfillment of any form is impossible. You can
never be the Perfect Slut, because the Perfect Slut is a
universal ideal, rather than a reality. Just as a chair can
never be the perfect chair, no matter how much energy and
time is placed in its construction. It will always be an
image of the idea. As will you.
Meenk: I see.
Teletype: I take great pleasure and delight in the realization that your
greatest ambition is a failure, a pipe dream that will never
be fulfilled.
Meenk: Are you quite certain?
Teletype: Yes.
Meenk: Then tell me this, Teletype, if you believe that ultimate
fulfillment of the Forms are impossible, how do you take into
account your own existence? From your own words to me, I
know that none are as great a fat ass as you. As I look at
you now, I can think of no bigger fat ass I have ever seen.
I believe you to be the ultimate fulfillment of the form of
fat ass. Do you deny that you are?
Teletype: I can not.
Meenk: So it is proven, by your own existence, that perfect
fulfillment of the idea is a possibility, and even a reality?
Teletype: I am afraid so.
Meenk: Then I view you as merely a rung on the ladder, a person I
stepped upon and squashed in my grand dream. Go back to your
hovel and hide from the sunlight as all creatures such as you
must inevitably do.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #376 - WRITTEN BY: SQUINKY - 12/25/98 !!