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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #332 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "It's JUICE!" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/11/98 !!
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Being a girl always trying to find new forms of "mind expansion",
I tend to seek out different forms of mind altering substances a lot. I
like to try new things. Sometimes ones that aren't even harmful to the
health. Most of the time, yes, the substances I stumble upon are
illegal, but hey, who gives a shit?
One hot afternoon, I found myself in serious need of liquids. My
mouth had been terribly dry, not just from the heat, and I felt like I
was going to DIE if I didn't get something to drink, fast. I dragged
myself to the nearest convenience store and headed straight for the
drinks section. I decided I wasn't in a Coke mood, so I checked out the
fruit juices.
Looking through the glass, I began to get paranoid. Funky-labeled
bottles of drinks called "uVo" and "Fruitopia" were staring back at me.
I started wondering if the juices were related to my state of mind.
Names such as "Pink Lemonade Euphoria", "Tangerine Wavelength" and
"Random Architecture of Grape Strawberry Nubility" were all written on
the labels, describing the flavour of the drink. I grabbed a "Fruit
Punch Orgy" and headed for the cash, completely confused. I asked the
cashier if the label actually said "Fruit Punch Orgy", just to be sure I
wasn't completely out of my mind. She assured me that the label in fact
read "Fruit Punch Orgy". I downed my Fruit Punch Orgy and quenched my
undying thirst. I didn't experience any sort of group sex, but I wasn't
thirsty anymore.
The next day, in a more clear-headed state of mind, I went back to
the store to make sure I didn't hallucinate the trippy juice names.
Surely enough, the names remained the same. I bought a "Pink Lemonade
Euphoria" for kicks, and discovered that it was just Pink Lemonade. I
didn't trip out into some crazy high where everywhere I looked was a
kaleidoscope of fruits and crazy harps playing everywhere with angels
floating around singing. Sure it tasted good, but it was nothing close
to euphoric!
Over time I tried to understand better this wave of "Fruit
Awareness". I wanted to try Aunty Goethe's Peachy-Mango Love Pain, but I
didn't know who this Aunty Goethe was and what kind of pain she'd be
into. So I went with "Passion Fruit Awareness". Again, I didn't become
One with the Juice, it didn't take me to a higher state of being, and I
certainly wasn't taken into some awesome euphoria.
After trying several different Intuitions, Euphorias, Orgies and
Confusions, I realized that these were all just plain fruit drinks with
fUnKy NaMeS. They were tangy and fruity yes, but they were no different
than any other fruit drink I've had.
So. Maybe once people start becoming more Advertizing-Scam
Alert, and less Aware of the passion fruit, they'll realize that they've
all been had.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #332 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 12/11/98 !!