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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #280 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Should You Date The Devil?" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Anjee !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/9/98 !!
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since i have been fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to be able to
date the devil himself [however, he prefers to be known as "satan in
pants"], i thought i should inform all of you girls (or guys) the pro's
and con's in engaging into a relationship with the devil, and also how
you can detect them before getting into the whole mess.
i will begin with the little tips and tricks on how to spot the
devil or his accomplices before devoting a vast amount of your life to
evil. first off, these devils-in-disguise normally sport a shaved head
and wear sunglasses throughout the year (the reason they do this is
because the sun and the reflection of its brightness on snow is hard on
their eyes -- being used to dark places and fires). although, if you do
choose to get to know this potential evil being, make sure you know
their birthdate. if it's october 31st or december 25th -- because dec.
25th people hog all the presents :/, beware. that and any 666 on that
person's body are sure signs. don't let their "kindness" fool you, as
they will quickly change into bomb-crazy maniacs.
the pro's of dating the devil are slim, yet manage to lure
innocent girls into such evil doings. one would surely be getting
spoiled! of course getting spoiled is fun and makes you feel somewhat
special, money and anything considered to be "materialistic" is the root
of all evil (i sure repeat "evil" a lot, don't i? ah well). their kind
and sensitive acts are just what i said: acts. i should also note
having an irc/irl relationship with satan has its good sides. such as
being able to get anyone's connection dropped and modem burnt (seeing
that evil on-line dudes are normally leet).
but as we all know, there's a negative side to everything. if
you were stupid enough to fall into this person's trap and later realize
that your better-half (not litterally) is in fact the devil, you get to
be subject of rumours weeks after you break up in a huff. in addition,
for several months, you will have the excitement of being threatened
with bombs, and possibly even attacks to your computer (now who would
want that?!?!). these threats are usually said as follows:
Ex-Boyfriend: i have a new years resolution...
one word: revenge.
*or*
Ex-Boyfriend: i bought a gift for you, it detenates in 10
seconds, have a nice day.
with all this information on why you should or shouldn't date the
devil, i hope that you will be able to save yourself before your life
and emotions are so rudely flushed down the toilet.
P.S. --> mogel's input:
<mogel> um, the devil is pure evil so he can make his penis into
a german shepard and have it eat up a woman's insides
<mogel> and then she'll be in a lot of pain
<mogel> and she might die
*NOTE: this is considered a PRO in mogel's twisted and evil mind.*
Lord have mercy on your souls.
AMEN. (or something.)
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #280 - WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 11/9/98 !!