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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #275 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Libertarians" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Nybar !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/6/98 !!
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This is a true life story. I'll tell it first person.
One summer there was this 15 year old ice skater, real fucking
little idiot, and her mother, who is the stupidest person I have ever
seen. Anyway, she was giving me a ride somewhere or other when the
conversation turned to politics.
She started singing the praise of Pat Buchachan, and I merely
innocently said "How can you like that fucking populist robber baron?",
to which she replied, "Well, if you have another one of those little
outbursts I'm turning this car around (into traffic?) and driving right
back home. By the way, I don't like that kind of language either."
Later, she said that welfare was 85 percent of the nations
budget, and I told her it was B.S. and asked her for a source. She said
"Newsweek. It's a fact." After that I calmly explained about how much
of an idiot she was to her, and she actually TURNED THE CAR AROUND (well
not into traffic), did a U-turn, and drove me home. Ohh man, what an
idiot -- that's supposed to be an *idle threat*, you tard! I don't know
how people like this even get driver's liscenses, too dumb to live.
Anyway, I had to live with this person and her idiot daughter for
a whole summer. They even took my fucking room. The way to get revenge
on people like this is a slow, systematic revenge, not one act. It
started with a few relatively innocent pranks: dildo in her purse during
buisness meeting, tacs on the bed, urine in her apple cider, when finally
I learned she had a boyfriend. This was going to be my triumphant
victory. I kicked down his door, put a pillow over his head, knocked his
head against the wall a few times to knock him out, and tied him up with
leather ropes after putting him in panties and a bra. Then, I continued
by taking a bunch of pictures. When he was finally awake, I started a
tape recorder out of his sight, started whipping him. The ensuing
conversation went as follows:
"Are you a republican?"
"Y--" <CRacK(that's the crack of the whip baby)>
"Are you a republican?"
"Y--" <CRacK>
"Are you a democrat?"
"Umm, ye--" <CRACK>
"Don't lie to me you swine, are you a democrat?"
"Yes! YES--" <CRACK>
"Fucking democrat, I hate democrats, are you sure you are?" <CRACK>
"N-" <CRACK>
"Then what are you?" <CRACK>
"A libertarian!"
"And what do you think about Pat Buchachan?"
"He's an asshole!" <CRACk>
"Ok, that was the last one, as a blow against PC thugs everywhere,
and I've let you off. Don't worry, I called the vice squad, they will be
happy to save you from yourself." <I switch the tape off.>
"HAHAHA! This will show you how it feels, fuckin Republican. Oh,
by the way, I'm sending the tape to your idiotic grrl friend. See ya."
The moral of this story?
Libertarians: We're not all wusses and vegitarians this
time around.
!!========================================================================!!
This next story was inspired by the movie "Freaky Friday", which
finally led me to speak out against idiocy. And the Beefheart song,
"White Jam".
"But wait, there's more!" (hehe, shining force 2 rocks!)
Nybar: "Look, gems."
Barbara, the stupid woman: "Hm, I think I will put one on."
Nybar: "Me too!"
Nybar's Brain: <in a gerbil voice> "Nybar! Nybar! Be careful, these gems
utilize the power of thought!"
Nybar: "Well, then I have nothing to worry about from her..."
Later, after the newest episode of Star Trek, Deep Space 9, Nybar
is thinks to himself, "Hmm, I wish there was a way that I could masturbate
nonstop for 2 hours."
*vwooo*!!@@!..
Nybar: <in barbara's body> "If I'm in her body, then... she must be in
my body!!" Next saturday...
Nybar: "Hm, I believe I prefer the kind of vibrator without wings...
EeweeweweeAHAEHEH! That one was good."
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #275 - WRITTEN BY: NYBAR - 11/6/98 !!