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>> "Cancerman vs. Clinton" <<
by -> GrayWolf
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Background:
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Cancerman:
Ex-sniper for the us army. head of elite orginization that runs the
world. Killed JFK. Smokes a lot of ciggarettes.
Clinton:
Draft dodger. President of large country. has sex with lots of
women. Smokes pot.
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If Cancerman and Clinton ever had a fight they would both have vast
resources to call upon to back them up. As the head of an elite
orginization that runs the world, Cancerman could call all his hired killers
and powerful stoolies in support of him. Clinton on the other hand is a
figurehead at the fore of united states politics and could call upon his
wife to bog Cancerman down in paperwork until the end of the next century.
In addition all the dead heads would support Clinton. Cancerman is a
trained killer with numerous deaths staining his hand. He plans, attacks,
and then departs. Clinton would throw him off guard. He is a draft dodger,
a cheater, and very very sneaky. He never plans anything and is thus able to
think on his feet. Also his wife knows karate and healthcare reform.
Clinton also has plenty of stamina as shown when he jogs several miles,
cheats on his wife with numerous women, then jogs back. Cancerman smokes,
he'd run out of breath easily. Oh, did I mention that Clinton smokes pot,
that makes his mind something even Cancerman couldn't understand or
anticipate?
In closing, this is what would transpire:
Cancerman and Clinton would approach each other. Clinton would hand
Cancerman a restraining order and in response Cancerman would pull out a gun
w/ a silencer and shoot him. At that point Clinton's wife would rush him to
a hospital where he would be put on life support. At the same time Mulder
would get angry seeing his president dead and shoot Cancerman. Cancerman's
goonies would rush him to the hospital where he would be put on life support
right beside Clinton. Clinton would then have a bad acid flashback and
flail disabling Cancerman's life support and killing him. Shortly after
Clinton would relive one of his affairs with Paula Jones and have a heart
attack dying a few short minutes after Cancerman. they would both be cloned
and while Cancerman would be able to return to the shadowy underground from
which he runs the world Clinton would have to go to the secret complex where
such people as Elvis, Tupac, and the newly cured of aids Magic Johnson to
live out the rest of his life waited on hand and foot by a group of
genetically altered females whose only purpose is to make those in their
care happy.
Even in death, Cancerman rules the world and Clinton has all the fun,
go figure, eh?
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #201 -- written by GrayWolf -- 3/06/98 *