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moo. ** **** oink.
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/** /** / **** //****** hogs of entropy
// // //// ////// issue #111
>> "the rise of the mogels, part two" <<
by -> nybar
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>>-+ JURRASIC MOGEL 2: the lost mogels!!! +-<<
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Mogel Island, 8:00
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a wealthy british family picnics on a small island they got to
from their yacht. their daughter is being a bitch.
their daughter: "WHAWHAWHA! I'M A BITCH!"
The father: "FUCK!~@$# I"M A FUCKIN' ALCOHOLIC!@$ BEAT MY WIFE!
YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH@!#$@!#$!@$"
The mother: "Honey... take this big carrot RUN LIKE HELL!!"
their daughter takes the carrot and starts skipping merrily off.
the father CRACKS a whiskey bottle over his wifes head, and.. mad at her
for wasting whiskey, kicks her in the <snicker> pelvic reigon <chortle>
Daughter: *skipping* "Tra-lalalalalala, tra-lalalalalala."
the daughter looks down, and, about the size of a mid sized rock,
see's a full grown mogel.
Daughter: "Hey there cutey... how are you doin'?"
Mogel sniffs at the air, when he catches the carrots scent he
drools and, fearful of taking on such a big 8 year old girl by himself,
growls for his companions!
Mogel: "Growl!@"
lots of little mogels jump out of nowhere!
Daughter "MOMMEY DADDY, COME SEE THIS!! AIIiiIEEEEEEEE!#$_}#+#_%&"
the mogels are swarming over her big carrot, devouring it to
shreds!!
Daughter: "Get off all of you little jewish bastards! GET OFF
OF MY CARROT!$@!!"
the mother and father arrive.. and seem pretty indifferent to
their daughters carrot... then the father hits the wife and she SCREAMS
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The mainland, somewhere in DE.
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nybar walks along the street, and see's paranoid gay guy who wets
himself and needs to get a job.
Cerkit: "Dewd! I saw you on TV! Yer that Jurrasic mogel guy!"
Nybar: "Wheet."
Cerkit: "NO! I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON! BWAHHH!!!"
a lightning bolt hits cerkit, and he catches fire and scapers
around madly, then falls down an open manhole and dies. they throw his
corpse out cause it's a *MAN* hole.
nybar walks inside a building that says "Jurrasic mogel insitute,
goes upstairs and see's jubjub, who has a white haired wig on, and is in a
sick bed with an IV next to him.
Nybar: "Umm... what's with the hair and the IV?"
Jubjub: "Trying to be true to the original movie, I'll lose em."
Nybar: "Elite, can I have em? I can sell em for like 500 times
the retail to poor dewds."
Jubjub: "I get 10 per."
Nybar: "Deal!"
*they shake hands*
Jubjub: "Oh.. umm... go to mogel island."
Nybar (his voice filled with emotion): "I...... nearly... lost..
a nice....salad... there.. BEFORRREEEEEE@!!$!@$!@$!@%&@!4"
a single tear rolls down nybar's cheek.
Jubjub: "Umm.. your stupid black kid is going to sneak there with
you and I sent your cat already."
Nybar: "Ummm.. black kid?"
Jubjub: "Just trying to be true to the plot"
Nybar: "Whatever"
*THWIP*
Nybar: "ohhh.."
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Some crazy cuban dudes boat.. umm... like.. 12:00
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Nybar: "Where the fuck am I?!! I thought I was talking to
jubjub!@$#@!$ I was going to reject his stupid offer and
send froboy to get my cat.."
Jubjub: "I anticipated that, so I drugged you and crated you to
this boat."
Nybar: "Now we're all going to this island full of 3 ft tall
vegetarian predators... WHOOOO!!!"
Jubjub: "OH NO! I thought we would want to eat healthy so I
only packed SALAD!!!"
Nybar: "This is exactly what happened the last time... we're
DOOMED!"
Cuban dude: "Diablo!! Diablo! el es un oso!"
Nybar: "What'd he say?"
froboy jumps onscreen and says: "I dunno... but I wouldn't
wanna live there!!"
Jubjub: "I believe he said this is the island of death where he
and his cuban friend have lost several salad lunches to
surly 4 ft tall vegetarin predators."
Nybar: "Um.. I think he said "Devil, Devil, it is a bear."
Jubjub: "Well.. I was close."
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on the island.... umm.... today.
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Nybar: "I wonder where my cat is!"
nybar's Cat jumps onscreen and says: "So do I, but don't call
me often!!!"
Nybar: "Um.. hi. So whats the purpose of this expedetion?"
Jubjub: "To Observe. It is imperative we preserve the natural
balance! If even ONE MOGEL is killed it could be
DISATEROUS!"
nybar jubjub and froboy looks out at exactly 100 4 ft tall
mogels. nybar throws a carrot among the ranks and they all start fighting
over it, until only one is left.
Jubjub THINKS: "I can't take him anywhere."
Nybar: "well.. look over there! Cloning lab! lets just clone that
one who's left and 100 times and we'll have 101!"
Jubjub: "Good idea! While your doing that, we'll set up a salad
lunch."
Nybar: "OK!"
nybar walks into the lab with the mogel. he clones it 100 times.
Nybar: "Hmm... he would be happier if there were MORE mogels."
he clones it 5000 times... and then, despite his best efforts..
they run outside.
-----
froboy takes a bite of his salad.
Froboy: "What's that pitter patter?"
nybar runs out of the lab and yells: "RUNNNN WITHHH THE
SALLLLLLAAAADDDDSSSS!!!"
Jubjub: "YAHHHHHHHHH!@$!@)*@#%)*!@*!#@$"
Jubjub and froboy pick up their salads and start running like hell.
nybar quickly gets his and catches up to them.*
Jubjub: "To the van!!"
Nybar: "Umm.."
they jump in the van and jubjub proceeds to drive it halfway off a
cliff.
<dramatic music plays and jubjub froboy and nybar act like
superhero's and state the obvious...>
Nybar: "The van is halfway off the cliff!"
Froboy: "It could fall any second!!!"
Jubjub: "And the mogel's are coming!!!!"
TO... BE.... CONTINUED!!
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #111 -- written by -> nybar -- 6/11/97 *