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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "The Gods Sent us for 'Shrooms!" | |
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| | By: Abigwar | |
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The rain pounded down as though it was endless. The earth rattled with
the cracking whips of mighty thunder. A wicked blue and black line
suddenly appeared diagonally in the sky. It spread open, and 5 warriors
filed out.
The Five men sloshed through the wet brush, looking for the enemy.
Looking for a battle. Looking for the Mega-shroom-of-glory. Armed with
large steal shields, in five different shapes, with five different crests
upon them. Armed with swords so sharp they could slash through time.
They cut their way thru the dense weeds, With a seven inch wombat
leading the way. Then, after hours of walking with the wombat, and an
unimaginable amount before they hooked up with Wommie-Duh-Wombat, they
fell to their muddy knees. Exhausted. Burnt. Tired. Beat. One of them
struggled for air. Another sat with his prickly chin resting on his knees,
But his knees were quivering so bad his whole head bobbed up and down.
The rest just bummed around the small opening.
One of the group, Pulled a mushroom from his bag. He downed it quickly,
as though trying to avoid tasting the morsel. After a little while, he
started to talk to the wombat. The wombat who previously asked few
questions now asked many.
"Where, uh, When did you come from?" The little ball of fur asked.
"We come from the mighty countries of then north. We are the vikings,
from five different families, each represented by the crests on our
swords and shields." He replied.
The other four people looked at him, not in surprise that he was talking
to a wombat. But in confusion as they tried to understand what he was
saying. The wombat spoke english, however the man, before today, did not
know a word of it. And this was the first the other four, not to mention
the communicator, had ever heard anything like it.
"How did you get here?" Wommie asked.
"The gods have forged our magical swords, and with them, we can cut
through time and do their bidding. In return for our weapons, we must
pay off the debt by doing missions for them."
"So what is your mission now?" The all around nosey marsupial asked.
"We have come to find Magic Mushrooms. In Asgard, Home of the Gods, the
'shrooms grow plentiful, However, they do not grow quickly enough to
supply all the warriors with, and the twilight of the end is coming
quickly. We need more, so the gods sent us to the near (but so far)
future, where we hope to find a larger supply."
"Oh, So that's what you need me for? To guide you to Shroomdom aye?, Well
I can't do that. Their are no quality 'shrooms around here in Australia,
but i will help you. Just you wait and see. I'll help you good. I will!"
Boasted the Australian animal that is closely related to kangaroos!
"So Be It" Answered one of the others who had just downed a shroom.
And of course, another had just learned the strange, erie language, so
all confused looks turned to him! Blood showed in his face. After a long
rest they decided to continue their quest. The pushed their way up the
muddy hill that they rested at the base of. Like before cutting the weeds
above them, they made their way single file.
At the top of the hill, there was a clearing, bigger than the one below.
9 stones formed a ring in the middle of it. A big stone that resembled a
alter, had Nordic Runes carved into it. This is the place the gods told
them to find, when they were ready to transport.
The little wombat took a piece of paper out of its pouch. The paper had
some strange writing on it. Huddled together, the 5 men started reading
the note out loud, in unison. With a magical flash, and a green puff of
smoke, They found them selves in a place, that looked a lot like where they
just where, you know, with the 9 stones and all. But the things around them
had changed. They where no longer on a hill, they were now in a valley.
[Foot Note #1: Ying-Yang, Hill-Valley. Its a esoteric thing i suppose!]
Suddenly many naked women with guns had them surrounded. They spoke no
language that any of the small party knew. And they didn't want to waste
their magic shrooms just yet. The women talked rather dominantly, but
the party knew nothing of what they wanted. They led them to a small
village. The village had huge walls. Maybe 120' high. About the size of
a medium train tressel. Before entering, they disarmed the men. Not like
the men cared, because they figured they could easily get them back, these
where just little women. Also, they thought it was just them being polite.
[Footnote #2: Like taking a coat? :>]
When one of the ladies carried out shackler, the men started to realize
just how unfriendly these ladies were. The tried to rebel, Surely these
women would be no match for these giant neanderthals, However, another
girl gave a demonstration of how the guns worked, and shot one of the party
in the chest. He was a big man, and died, tied down in bed only a few days
later. But as for the others, they where chained up, and forced into a
large hut. The wombat was set free to frolic in the village.
One guard was posted outside of the door. Once a day, they where fed
left over scrapes from lunch and breakfast. Inside their hut where nine
rooms. A large one in the middle, And 8 others in a octagon formation.
Each of the eight rooms were small. 4 of the rooms were unoccupied and the
swing-down locking cage bars (tm) where not closed. The other four rooms
had one member of the party each.
Ever little while a woman would pay off the guard, and have sex with the
man or men of her choice. Including the guard, who paid another one to
guard.
After a week or so of the same routine, The wombat snuck in as the bribed
guard had opened the door and cage for one of the 'regular visitors'. As
the women unchained one of the men, wommie bit her on the leg and the man
knocked her over. The wombat pushed the gun over to the man. The man took
the keys, and opened the now re-shut bars. He let out the others, and the
wombat popped a few shrooms so he could communicate.
The shrooms the Warriors had where Fly Allegoric. Purplish in color, and
some what large, However, what the wombat had were small, and off-white.
Liberty Caps, Which are often considered more powerful.
The wombat spoke: "I have found shrooms with in this village. I can
help you complete your mission now! Your weapons are all in a trap door
in the middle of this large room."
One man pulled on a large ring, and with a "Shhhh-pop" a hole was
revealed. He climbed down the ladder, and passed up the weapons. Strangely
all the crests on the shields had been changed to shrooms. And not the
Liberty Caps either. They where the colorful Fly Allegoric which grew back
home. And to their knowledge, the women had never seen the purple-red
shrooms before. " A sign from the gods! " one warrior exclaimed.
Then, Large armor suits which were never seen before were passed up. They
bared the cross of the almighty wombats, and the picture of the glorious
shroom. The instinctively put them on, and walked out after downing a bunch
of shrooms Wommie had brought them.
The wombat, who also had a wombat shaped suit on led them through the
village, as many shots rang out. The men swung their swords, hammers and
maces in rage, but no girls would get close enough for it to have any
effect. They weren't to dumb, and they knew the would stand no chance.
They came to a large wall, maybe 100'. Shorter than the main wall. There
was a huge steel gate blocking the only entrance into the huge room. The
space between the bars was only as big as a wombat. The warriors put
their mighty weapons together and beat the shit (to put it bluntly) out
of the wall around the gate.
The wall crumbled, and the gate fell out. The men put one shield in each
corner of the 'shroom filled room, with the shroom facing up. Then, they
followed the small trail into the middle of the room, where a clearing
had been cut. A stair way led up to a stock room full of harvested
mushrooms.
The gathered together, and read from the note the wombat gave them
earlier. With a large flash, and a yellow (Not green) puff of smoke,
They became conscious again. They walked out the door, and found them
and the building in Valhalla, where they truly earned they throne, and
where they are today.
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| M0G3|_'Z Land.....2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
| h4CkEr KrAKd0\x/n.2159451907 |H )\@_@/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
| t.e.k.a.t.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| SMASHTHEDISCOS!....8003339291 |
| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
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Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications & Abigwar 042 --> 1/15/95
All rights aRe /<-h00L az S|-|33T!