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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
| | | |
| | " Proof On the Questions! " | |
| | | |
| | By: Abigwar | |
| | | |
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| | "Table of Contents! Read this NOW!!!!" | |
| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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-(Part:)--:------(Info:)------:-----(By:)-----:--(Thanks-to:)-----------------
Part Ao.. : Table of Contents : ....Abigwar.. : ...Ascii Artist Abigwar (Ha)..
Part 0o.. : Introductions.... : ....Abigwar.. : ...Wombat Warriors from hell..
Part 1o.. : 1-800-Mattres(s)? : ....Abigwar.. : ...Mogel (or Zorro, I forget).
Part 2o.. : 1-800-ABC-DEFG?.. : ....Abigwar.. : ...Zorro......................
Part 3o.. : 1-700-555-4141?.. : ....Abigwar.. : ...Ascii Express..............
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| | "Introduction... READ THIS NOW! HAHA!" | |
| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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I have decided to take it upon my self to research the possibilitys
of 3 important phone numbers. So THERE!
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| | "1-800-M-A-T-T-R-E-S(-S) Savings? Hmm!" | |
| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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My frist mission was the 1-800-Mattres(s) question. If you leave off the
last S, Will you have to pay more for the mattress? After days of research,
I gave in, and called to ask them. The first time the lady who was working
the switch board when I called said:
|-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!-------------------=-=-
| |
| Me> "Excuse me, I was wondering if when I call your phone number, and do |
| not leave the last 'S' off, will I end up paying more?" |
| |
| Them> "No sir, you do not need to, Infact, you don't even have to pay for |
| the phone call." |
| |
| Me> "Ok, Thanks!" |
| |
| <CLiCK> |
| |
| Me> "HahahahahA!" |
| |
| Ascii Express> "Hahahahaha!" (Three way calling you know!) |
| |
=-=-=================================[End]================================-=-=
Either this lady had a sence of humor, or we are on to something. In hopes
of getting another opinion, from another operator, I have decided to call
again. Please hold... Okay, this was a male operator:
-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
| |
| Me> "Hello, Yes I am doing an article and I was wondering if you could tell|
| me, if I call 1-800-mat-tres(s) and do not leave of the last 'S' will |
| I have to pay more because I forgot to not leave off the savings?" |
| |
| Him> "<Snicker> Yes, it cost extra." |
| |
| Me> "Does it by any chance go by a certian percentage, or is it just an |
| random amount?" |
| |
| Him> "It's 5% more." |
| |
| Me> "Ok, well, I was wondering if I could have your first name so I can |
| quote you?" |
| |
| Him> "Well, What's your name?" |
| |
| Me> "Me, I don't have a name." |
| |
| Him> "Well, That is my name too. <Click>" |
| |
=-=-=================================[End]================================-=-=
The data is inconclusive. The theroy is that you do pay more, and the man
I talked to was actually higher up on the corprate ladder, and knew, while
the woman was nothing more than a switchboard operator. Remember folks, you
heard it hear first. If you want to buy a mattress. Leave off the last 'S'
or you will pay 5% more!
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| | "1-800-A-B-C-D-E-F-G? I can't even read" | |
| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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My second mission was to try and infiltrate the depths of Hooked On
phonics, and find out, how a person is to dial, if they can't read.
My first test came back completly negitive, and really back fired. But
thats okay, That is what redial is for.
-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
| |
| Me> "I was wondering if you ever had problems with people not being able |
| to call because they can not read the A-B-C-D-E-F-G's." |
| [An obvious self set-up to make this more funnier] |
| |
| |
| Her> "Well, your asking if we would know, if they had problems, when |
| really they wouldn't be able to dial and tell us in the first place |
| right?" [It worked] |
| |
| |
| Me> "Ummm..." [She talked too damn fast] |
| |
| |
| Her> "Well, most people would at least know some one who could dial there |
| ABC's. Ok? Thanks, Bye-Bye." [She still talked to damn fast] |
| <click> |
| |
=-=-================================[End]=================================-=-=
Hmm, This data is pretty inconclusive. Maybe we should try again. This is
the data to my second call. Unlike above, I am writing this before I
called, so I don't know if its gonna work out. Hopefully I will get a
diffrent operator.
Damn it, Here it is...
-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
| Me> "How do you expect people to dial ABCDEFG if they can't read?" |
| |
| Her> "Have your parents call. Thank you, bye-bye, <click>" |
| [Whats with this 'Thank you, Bye-Bye, happy horse shit?] |
| |
=-=-================================[End]=================================-=-=
Ok, well, the Magic 8-bigwar says (Eight ball thing you shake!), "Duh
ABCDEFG theroy is that they wan't you to really on some one else to do
your work."
Hmm, Sounds like people have been imcriminated because they can't read.
Just beacause they are handicaped doesn't mean that they need to mooch off
of other people. Their plot must be to turn the world into a bunch of
goons who can't read (Beacuse they can't call for help) or a bunch of
mooches who rely on others to do all their work. Fucking bastards! All
would call them back to preform another test, but I believe after #2 it
is considered harrasment, and they record and trace all their calls, so
I think they could press charges. Next!
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| | "1-700-555-4141 The Repeating Culprit!" | |
| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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Ok, my final mission of the day, was to discover why when you dial
1-700-555-4141, it gives you a message that says something like "Thank
you for calling the AT&T long distance service. This message will *NOT*
repeat" Then it continues repeating the message for infinity, or till you
disconect...Which ever comes first.
I would call right now and get a transcript of what it says for you...
But I am to lazy to do it myself. I am going to rely on you to do it for
me. It seems when I was testing the Hooked on Phonix, (Wait, does that
mean it is addictive! Hahaha Bonus file tonight!) it succsessfuly changed
me into what we had feared.
I have come upon the theroy, that it says it is not repeating because it
is tricking you to stay on the line longer, by waiting for it to not
repeat. While you are waiting, it subliminly programs you. I have not
dared to stay on long enough to find out what it will make me into. Oh
well. Have phun with it. Amaze your friends. Dazzle your enemys... before
you knock them senseless. Peace out yo! (Hahah maybe my little skinheaded
ears did listen to it to long!)
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| | "Duh /<-/~aD Bonus file: Hooked on Phonix, Rehab. provided?" | |
| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
Now that I think of it, I have one final theory to come up with
tonight. Arn't you lucky. You have an added bonus! haha. Hold as
I dial.
-=-=------------------Offical-HoE-Research-Data-Start!--------------------=-=-
| Me> "Hello, Yes, I was wondering, After I have done Hooked on Phonix, if I |
| can't afford it anymore, Will you offer rehabilitation?" |
| |
| Him> <Click> |
=-=-================================[End]=================================-=-=
I have to theroys on this one. 1) He was too stoked on Phonix to answer
me. Or 2) People at HoP have no sence of humor, and should take lessons
from Dial-A-Mattress [DaM].
Thanks, and good night!
-Abigwar
|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
| M0G3|_'Z Land.....2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
| h4CkEr KrAKd0\x/n.2159451907 |H )\@_@/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
| t.e.k.a.t.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| HoP SuX, DaM RulZ!.800MATTRES |
| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
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Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications & Abigwar 032 --> 12/08/94
All rights aRe /<-h00L!