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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
M00SE ILLUMINATI
Issue 41 | Disclaimer: The Editor does hereby take responsibility | 07/06/90
---------- for the full contents of this newsletter. Accountability ----------
is now the name of the game. A pox on playing it safe. Let's get real. Bl00p.
================================================================================
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- *************************** THE ISSUE AT A GLANCE *****************************
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EDITORIALS AND LETTERS
Bill Dickson takes the helm again/Pat steps down
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
Submissions needed
Help needed reaching hard-to-reach non-bitnet m00ses
EVENTS AND NEWS
Comment
Fascism in the US part I: Operation Sundevil
Fascism in the US part II: Lies in the war on drugs
New non-network thr0ng: The Damn Whitefish Thr0ng
Fascism in the US part III: Martial Law
FICTION AND POETRY
An interesting little anonymous piece
M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE
System privileges as they would apply to real life
Donald Trump -- M00se in the making?
The Usenet Oracle answers a question about goldfish
MEET THE M00SES
None this time, I'm afraid
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- *************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ****************************
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Surprise.
I'll bet I was the last person you were expecting to see here again. Yes,
it's true, the real world has me firmly in its grasp, I've graduated with a
B.A. in English Literature, I have my own apartment, I'm paying for my own car,
I have my own kitten (Lisa Miranda), and my own little inadequate job. I also,
for the first time in some fifteen years, have my evenings free with no guilt
attached. And time on my hands.
So I wrote to Pat, who I hadn't heard from in a while, and mentioned that
my palms were itching a bit. He said he just didn't seem to get around to this
editorship business very often anymore, and I decided to take the helm, at
least for a while. So here I am, once again gracing your free blocks.
I've had some strange urges lately. No, not *that* kind of urges, you
filthy m00ses, you. No, strange editorship urgues, coupled with indignation
with the national status quo, and various other things I can't really get a
handle on. Also, I've spilled cream soda into my keyboard. But I digress.
What this all means is, I'd like to launch the M00se Illuminati into a new
direction. A -- dare I say it? -- somewhat serious direction. Not *too*
serious, mind you, but I'd like to get some organization into it, get a better
handle on who we are and what we're really about.
Part of this will be reflected in M00se Droppings, at least while I
continue to edit it. I'm thinking movie reviews, music reviews, announcements
of m00sey events around the world, announcements of nastiness going on that
m00ses may wish to write their congressthings about. That kind of stuff.
Among the other things I hope to do are:
1) Get a list of all m00ses. Not just Cyberm00ses (m00ses
with network access), but any chapters that have sprung
up around the world without direct network access.
2) Make ourselves known. This may seem like a strange thing
for an illuminati group to do, but let's face it -- as an
underground group, we haven't much influence. If many
different people start receiving mail, or reading editorials
from people stating that they are part of the M00se Illuminati,
they're going to start to notice. And if we grow, our
power and influence for covert action will increase as well.
Everybody knows the CIA exists, but it doesn't slow them
down.
3) Start a paper newsletter. Once I get such a project off
the ground, I will surrender M00se Droppings once again.
A paper newsletter will have several advantages: It will
reach those m00ses who do not have network access; it will
be fully protected by the First Amendment; it will look
impressive; seeing it passing through the mail will make
people paranoid. Any one of these reasons would be sufficient
by itself. Combined, they are irrefutable. Sadly, this
project must wait for me to get certain equipment, namely
a repaired hard disk and a better printer. But then, we'll
be in business.
Part one I would like immediate help with. Please send me the names of
any m00ses you know of who are not on the net, along with their addresses if at
all possible.
Part two, we should begin talking about immediately.
Part three is mostly my baby, but suggestions are welcome.
That's enough from me for now, though. Now, Issue 41. As Pat had already
begun this issue, please consider him co-editor, and we'll kick it off with the
editorial he had written.
Bl00p,
Bill.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Well, here we are, at the end of another year. For me, it's the end of
my third year (out of a probably SIX! ;^) ) and it's been pretty good.
If the administration permits, I will be on the system all summer, and
should have more free tyme than I did this semester. If that is the case, and
you guys keep sending me strange and wonderful things, then I'll keep doing this
piece of lunacy.
As I write this, it's 4.30 am, Monday, May 14th. And I'm not even in
Buffalo, but at home, in Oswego, NY for a few days, logging in through my Mom's
account (CHILDS@OSWEGO.OSWEGO.EDU and she loves mail, if you get my drift...).
I'm all done with classes, and I have no finals! (Nyah! Nyah! ;^) )
I'm currently reading the Shrodinger's Cat Trilogy by Robert Anton
Wilson. It's pretty good so far! This book (trilogy, actually) is the sequel to
the ILLUMINATUS! Trilogy. If you haven't read THAT yet, then may I make a
suggestion for your summer reading list?... :)
I've also picked up Wilson's "Illuminati Papers" and "Coincidence". I've
read I.P., ant it's great! "Coincidence" looks good, but I haven't gotten to it
yet.
Enough book reviews....
For those of you who are going away for the summer, and have no Net
access, have a good tyme, and hope to see you next fall! If you are (well, you
know...the "G-word") and you won't be back next year because you're going out
into the quote real-world unquote, have fun, good luck, stay m00sey, and work
yourselves into the positions that have been agreed upon and await further
instructions fnord.
(We ARE a conspiracy, after all! ;^) )
If you won't be able to receive mail this summer, drop me a note and let
me know, so I can remove you from the mailing list and save lots of net-traffic.
For those who are still here, send me some stuff, and let's keep the summer
weird!
Fnordially yours,
-Pat Salsbury
Hi. This is Pat again. It's now 9.50 pm, Fri., June 29th. It's about 6
weeks since I worked on this, and I appologize for not getting it out.
3 days after writing that bit above, (Thus., May 17th.), I had a
motorcycle accident. I hit a guard rail going about 40 mph, and wiped out my
bike. I wasn't seriously hurt (thank the Fnord), but I wasn't able to get back
onto my account for a while, and when I finally did, I just never got around to
finishing this, and sending it out. Again, I apologize.
Strange thing was...I was wearing an Illuminati T-shirt when I had the
accident, (with a BIG eye-in-the-pyramid design on the front!), and suspiciously
escaped any serious bodily harm fnord. ;)
Bill Dickson, our esteemed founder in Hartford, Conn., wishes to take
the helm of our newsletter again, so I return it to him, and wish you well. I'll
still be in touch, and will answer any mail sent to me (hint-hint!). Hopefully
he'll be more on schedule than I have been of late. :-)
Take care, all! It's been a blast!
-Pat
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- ************************* IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS *****************************
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SUBMISSIONS NEEDED!!! We must restore this organization to its ultra-powerful,
pristine condition, and the key is an exciting and interesting newsletter!
Send your submissions to me, Pickle, at DICKSON@HARTFORD.BITNET. Please label
them as submissions in the subject line, and, if possible, include a reference
to the section you think your submission falls under, if any.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I have been unable to reach the following m00ses through the gateways. If
anybody knows of a working address to reach them, please notify me immediately.
INET%"AGTOA!GREYFOX@UUNET.UU.NET"
JJZ@S.CC.PERDUE.EDU
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- ****************************** EVENTS AND NEWS ********************************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No wife, No horse, No mustache.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
OPERATION SUNDEVIL: Any of you who didn't receive the long article I
mailed out about Operation Sundevil, the government's unethical, and in some
cases unlawful intrusion into cyberspace, let me know and I'll send it. It's
scary stuff.
Not quite as scary as what happened on Wednesday night, June 27th, though.
On Relay channel 173, the Anti-Government Channel, we of the Politics
discussion list (POLITICS@UCF1VM) were just settling into our topic for the
evening -- Operation Sundevil. As the first sentence of the conversation was
transmitted, the Relay network collapsed. We were separated into groups of two
and three, in some cases chopped down to individuals. And though most of the
Net gradually reassembled itself over the course of the next hour (RELAY@YALEVM
never did come back up, of course), we couldn't help feeling as if there was a
- little* more than coincidence involved.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[I don't think this one comes from a m00se, but it's interesting nonetheless.
Even if you've never smoked the stuff, or aren't for legalization, the point
about selective coverage by the media is important to us all. Read Noam
Chomsky's _The_Washington_Connection_ and _Manufacturing_Consent_ for more
info. -WRD.]
Listen up, tokers! I got some primo dirt on the partnership for a drug-
free America. I'm sure that you have all seen the "brainwave" anti-herb
commercial (brainwaves of a "normal" 14-year-old are shown, followed by the
barely blipping, almost totally flat brainwaves of "a 14-year-old after smoking
marijuanna"). Well, as it turns out, the partnership was/is full of shit (no
big suprise to anyone, I'm sure).
This commercial was seen by Dr. Donald blum, a professor at UCLA. Dr.
Blum has done research on brainwaves, including brainwaves of people after
smoking herb. The brainwaves experienced after getting high are called alpha
waves. Alpha waves are also experienced during meditation. They represent the
creative side, the moment when one lets go and the new energy is allowed to
flow in. Alpha waves DON'T look like straight lines.
Dr. Blum took this info to ABC on Nov. 2nd, 1989.
On Nov. 17th, 1989, the partnership for a drug-free America admitted that
they had not used the brainwaves of a young pot smoker, but had in fact USED
THE BRAINWAVES OF A PERSON IN A COMA!!!!!!!!!! When questioned by ABC
reporters as to why they did it, the partnership said that they thought that
the effects of herb were so dangerous that they felt it was better to lie to
the american public to save them, as opposed to telling the truth.
I learned of this by reading an interview with Jack Herer in the April
issue of High Times. Apparently, the major media has chosen to ignore this
case of caught-red-handed public disinformation (a fact that I find very
disturbing, but not suprising).
I urge all anti-governmental-bullshit types to start spreading the news!
Tell everyone who doesn't know! Our government is lying to us about pot, who
knows what else they're lying to us about?! Since the media is obviously out
to hamper and discredit the legalization movement any way they can, it's up to
US to give people truthful, responsible information about drugs. It's up to US
to go to rallies and tell our fat-assed, facist, vote-mongering excuses for
political leaders that WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!! See you in the
street!!
Dope Smokin' Dave
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'd like to take some lines now to introduce a new thr0ng of the M00se
Illuminati -- not a cyberthr0ng, just a normal thr0ng, known as the Damn
Whitefish Thr0ng. It is a most promising thr0ng.
It seems Mike Harm, Founder and Traveller extraordinaire, was on a boat
bound for Athens one midnight in late March. He stumbled upon a group of
people passing a bottle of grappa and swapping stories, and joined them.
Soon after, he fell in with John, one of the members of that group, and
Peter, John's friend. They began to travel together, and strange and wondrous
are their tales.
Three in particular are of interest. The first is the tale from which I
derive this new thr0ng's name (the thr0ng made up of John and Peter, in case
you hadn't guessed). It is the tale of the Damn Whitefish.
At some form of high school event, a "senior night" sort of event, Peter
and John signed up to perform the theme from "The Love Boat" in front of the
entire student body, and a good deal of the faculty. Given their history at
this school, the officials should have called in the riot squad instantly; but
no, they nodded and signed up the act.
When it came time for John and Peter to perform the theme from "The Love
Boat," they walked out on stage with a kazoo (in John's hands) and a relatively
fresh, five-foot-long whitefish, acquired earlier that day as far as we know
(in Peter's hands). As John played "Yankee Doodle" on the kazoo, periodically
pausing to scream "DAMN WHITEFISH!!!" into the microphone, Peter proceeded to
swing the fish by its tail repeatedly, pounding it to pulp against the stage.
The effect was impressive. Faculty and students alike were splattered
with fish bits, and gore covered the stage. Everybody (except John and Peter)
was appalled. It was truly a sight to behold.
The second story is the story of the haunting. John and Peter instructed
Mike in the fine art of haunting important national landmarks. Essentially,
what you do is throw a sheet over your head and run around the landmark in the
middle of the night, saying "WooooOOOOOooooooo! WOOOOooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!"
in a high-pitched voice. John and Peter haunted many places, including the
Eiffel Tower (second floor). Mike joined them to haunt the Acropolis. We hope
to get together and haunt several landmarks in New York City, and perhaps some
places in Hartford as well. We think it would be good for m00ses to join us.
The final story is the brief tale of John and Peter's discovery of the
M00se Illuminati.
"But what is this organization *for*?" they asked.
"*No*," said Mike, "You don't *understand*....."
They decided it was one of the coolest things they'd heard of in a long
while.
So, let us all welcome John and Peter into the M00se Illuminati, as the
Damn Whitefish Thr0ng. When I can beat them out of Mike, I'll send their
addresses.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[This item was pulled from POLITICS@UCF1VM. It originally came from Bob
Bickford, rab@well.sf.ca.us. I can't speak for its accuracy, but it's not
the kind of thing to take chances with. -WRD]
EMERGENCY -- ACT!
by Tomas Estrada-Palma
and Larry Monaghan
A new bill, HR 4079, co-sponsored by Representative Newt Gingrich and
Senator Phil Gramm, would open the way for American concentration camps to be
built, and thereafter permit the state to round up suspected drug users so they
can be forced to work without compensation for the state.
"The Drug and Crime Emergency Act" drips with patriotism as Gingrich tries
to vaguely connect the freedom movement in eastern Europe with America falling
deeper and deeper into "the slavery of drug addiction."
The bill proposes suspending the Constitution for five years so millions
of illegal drug users can be held by the state in concentration camps. All
internees will be forced to work and if anyone is caught with drugs in the
camps they will have one year added to their sentence each time -- with no
right to appeal.
HR 4079 calls for declaration of a five year national state of emergency--
in essence, martial law. It proposes reopening the concentration camps of
WWII, using active and inactive military bases as prisons, and a new privately
owned prison system as well. To aid in accomplishing this, the 4th Amendment,
the 8th Amendment, and habeas corpus are either superseded, redefined, or
disallowed. A provision has been built in to allow the government to purchase
goods manufactured by prison slave labor. To ensure the duration of this labor
force, all previous maximum sentences would be changed to minimum sentences.
New mandatory sentences would be applied, and probation, parole, and suspension
of sentences revoked.
To provide an even greater pool to draw from, mandatory drug testing of
just about everyone above junior high school level has been included. The
resolution carefully avoids addressing the funding necessary.
Even after 30 press releases were sent out to all the national and local
news outlets by Maryland Libertarian Party members, there has been practically
no mention of the bill in the media. The state evidently is hoping to sweep
this bill into law right under our noses while we are all preoccupied with
other events taking place around the world. Surprisingly, the response from
libertarians as well as mainstream folks has been one of complacency.
Everyone needs to make phone calls and write letters. Direct your
correspondence to the media and your representatives as well as Gingrich and
Gramm. If they don't think you care about this bill becoming law -- it will!
Act now or cry behind the barbwire later.
reproduced from the July 1990 Libertarian Party NEWS
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- **************************** FICTION AND POETRY *******************************
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Pretty little birdies,
Picking in the turdies.
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- ************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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[Would that it were so. From Ice Lord (DICRESCE_PEJ@CTSTATEU.BITNET) -WRD.]
"This just can't happen to me, I've got access to SYSPRV, something must
be wrong."
Let's face it, there comes a time in every privileged user's life when he/
she finds out that privileges may have their uses, but don't you wish you could
use them in real life as well? Dream Equipment Corparation has come up with
the answer. A fully interfacable life modification system that plugs straight
between the unibus and reality, and is ready and waiting to help the privileged
user run his or her life.
$ set def life:
$ run lauthorze
LAF> Mod bike/noflat_tyre
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> ^Z
$
$ set def lief:
$ run lauthorze
%LIFE-F-FNF, file not found lief:lauthorze
Do you wish to create a new life? N
$ set def life:
$ run lauthorze
LAF> Mod fingers/nomistakes
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> Show headache
there are no defined hours of occurance
VICTIM: you SIGHT AFFECTATION: nil
DURATION: 2 hours ADDITIONS: Nausea, Cold Skin, Dry Tongue
ETA: .3 hours PAIN LIMIT: +2 (Richter)
AFTEREFFECTS: nil MAXIMUM PAIN LIMIT: infinite
PRIMARY DAYS: Sat Sun
SECONDARY DAYS: Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri
1:00 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 6:00 7:00 8:00 9:00 10:00 11:00 12:00
P Days ---- **** **** ---- ---- **** --*- --** ---- ***** ***** *****
S Days ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- **** **** **** **** ----- ----- *****
LAF> mod headache/victim="someone_else"/victim_type=prick/pain_limit=7
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> ^Z
$
$ set def life:
$ run lauthorze
LAF> mod bank_manager/thoughts="Give loans away freely"
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> Mod bank/nomortgage
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> Mod Miss_Universe/winner="Miss America"/loser="Miss Scandinavia"
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> Mod wage_scale/add=20000
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> ^Z
$
$ set def life:
$ run lauthorze
LAF> Mod TV/More_Black_Adder/no_more_Dallas
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> Mod religion/nodoubts
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> Mod personality/life_and_soul_of_the_party
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> ^Z
$
$ set def life:
$ run lauthorze
LAF> remove pope/heartattack
Cosmic Universe Updated, pope dies of heart attack
LAF> mod government/new_government=National
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> copy Fletcher_Challenge_Management Government/head_man="Muldoon"/nostrikes
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> add knowledge/access
Cosmic Universe Updated
LAF> sh me
Default Mother: Yours Default Father: Yours Birth Place: Yours
Name: Yours Age: Old enough Expiry Date: Soon!
Max Faults: Unlimited Max Lives: 9 Death place: Hospital
Max Wives: 3 Career: Computers Mode of Death: Resp Failure
Privileges:
LIFEPRV, CHANGEAGE, MODLIFE, BYPASSALL, AVOIDDEATH, ALLOWALL
LAF> mod me/passaway
--- Universe Going Down ---
--- Please adjust reality accordingly ---
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[What happens when you take too long to put out a newsletter? It gets dated,
that's what! From AGTOA!GREYFOX@UUNET.UU.NET. -WRD.]
We oughta get ahold of Donald Trump and involve him in the conspiracy! With
a few billion behind us, we'd be unstoppable! Or rather, MORE unstoppable.
With that kind of bread, we could start a M00se lobby in congress! We could
elect M00ses to high public office! Schools could be required to offer
courses in chaos engineering! What fun!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[I was never a great Oracle fan, but now and then comes an answer that must be
passed around. Every once in a while, I'll pick out a couple. -WRD.]
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> My Goldfish has recently gone off his food, and is behaving in an odd
> manner. First of all, a few days ago, he began swimming on his side and
> has a glazed look in his eyes, nothing i could do would make him change
> this. Now he is looking rather peaky and giving off a strange odour and
> i'm beginning to get worried. Is it me or is my goldfish trying to tell
> me something?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Do not be alarmed. This is perfectly normal behavior for a goldfish.
} It is just one of those phases in its life cycle. The next phase is
} called "decay." Large chunks of its flesh will break off and float to
} the surface. During this phase, the odor will get a little stronger.
} The water will become slightly murky. You may even discover a
} population of insects and minute organisms in the water. Eventually,
} the goldfish will appear to disintegrate entirely. It's at this point
} that I like to remove the water to a large dutch oven, add chopped
} onion, a little garlic, a few peppercorns, and a bay leaf and boil to
} reduce. You'll end up with a delicious fish stock that I hope you enjoy
} as much as I do.
}
} By the way, some humans prefer to bypass the "decay" phase and go
} directly to the "flush-down-the-toilet" phase.
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- ****************************** MEET THE M00SES ********************************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll be revamping this section, trying to do an interview-format (come to
think of it, like Goblinm00se and Godfrey did way back when...)
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- ************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE ***************
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A complete list of cyberm00ses will follow this newsletter. From that
point on, I will send an update in this section. When the list has changed
significantly enough (only *I* shall know, heh heh heh), I'll send a new copy
out. Au revoir, and bl00p!
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