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????????? ??????? ????????? ??? ??????? [MiLK]
????????? ??????? ????????? ??? ?????? File #30
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Easy Ways To Shock Your Parents
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By Biff Thelmus Bonglemeister III (not responsible)
Imagine that after a hard day of school your parents tell you to mow
the lawn, now you are pissed off and tired and want to go to sleep,
smoke some pot, and go to your girlfriend's/boyfriend's house and get
laid, well the easiest way is to shock your parents to death.
(1) Easy Shock Treatment
You come home from school and proudly announce to your parents that you
are flunking every class in school. If this does not shock them, or is
not sufficient to induce cardiac arrest, continue to step (2).
(2) Easy to Moderate Shock Treatment
Now inform your parents that due to your bad grades, and the fact that
your teachers are all bitches/assholes, you have decided to drop out of
school and go to work. If this is not enough, continue to (3).
(3) Moderate Shock Treatment
Now tell your loving mum and pop that you are going to work as a paid
prostitute on Rush St. and that your pimp is your former history
teacher. If this is still not enough, continue to (4).
(4) Moderate to Sharp Shock Treatment
Your next step is to tell your parents that since male prostitutes make
no money, you are going to be a transvestite prostitute (if you are
female, skip to (5)). Continue to (5) unless they drop dead.
(5) Sharp Shock Treatment
Tell your parents that (a)(for guys) you got your English teacher
pregnant, or (b)(for girls) you yourself are pregnant, with your
English teacher's baby. The sex of the English teacher is irrelevant.
(6) Extreme Shock Treatment
Tell your parents that just yesterday, you celebrated your new baby by
having hot sex with this English teacher, on stage during a school
assembly.
(7) Sadistic Shock Treatment
Inform your catatonic parents that you still have a dildo stuck up your
ass from this experience. For some parents, you may have to first
explain just what the heck a dildo is.
(8) I-Wouldn't-Do-This-To-Rush-Limbaugh Shock Treatment
For an encore, tell your parents that you are taking the car to go get
your double operation now (double, one for the sex change, another to
get that damned dildo out).
(9) I-Wouldn't-Do-This-To-Rush-Limbaugh's-Dog Shock Treatment
Now add a part about how you totaled the car by running over a few cops
and that they will be over in the morning to arrest them, as your
parents are still responsible for your actions.
(10) More-Sadomasichistic-Than-Tori-Amos Shock Treatment
The way to end this all is to then tell your parents that you caught
AIDS from your English teacher, who was the guy who caught AIDS in the
first place by porking a monkey. If that one doesn't get them, nothing
will...
P.S. Keep in mind none of these will work if you are a bad actor...
P.P.S. If you have skeptical parents or parents unfamiliar with
concepts herein, perhaps the foul language will kill them.
? ? [MiLK] Information
? ?
? ? [MiLK] Sites:
? ?
? ? Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400]
????????????? The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400]
????????????? The Lunatic Phringe........(708)232-0565 [12 Nodes]
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????????????? File Number 30, "Easy Ways To Shock Your Parents" By Yohan Bawk
????????????? This file is Exactly 4456 bytes long