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? ? [MiLK] ? ?
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? ? Mighty Issue #14 ? ?
??????????? illicit "Wank Bunny" ???????????
??????????? Liquid By James Hetfield ???????????
??????????? Kollections ???????????
??????????? ???????????
??????????? ???????????
The Drooling Jaws of the Mammoth Wolf grip upon my neck. I am finished.
There is no escaping now. The end has come, there is no way out. Is there
any way I could have avoided this? Any way I could have changed fate? Any
way I could have been saved?
Let me explain How I got myself into this mess. I am your typical Poofy
White Bunny Rabbit; I hop around all day, wiggling my little poofy tail all
along the way. And I tend not to cause any problems with people. In fact,
people seem to like me, for the most part. Humans call me cute, and the
little humans try to catch me and shit, but then I bite them and they run
away. I'm sick of those stupid little humans trying to pick me up and crap,
what the hell is in their head? Oh well, anyways, everyone tends to like me,
except those damn Wolves and Foxes. Wolves and foxes don't like me. At all.
Or maybe it is they like me TOO much. You see, they want to eat me. Now I
don't get this eating other animal bullshit, it's all greek to me, but hey,
it's their perogitive. But they want to eat ME, you see, and that kinda erks
me a tad. So I tend to stay away from them. Not because I don't like them,
not at all... I just, well, don't understand them, and they don't understand
me. They always try to eat me! Argh... Ok, to go on, the other Rabbits like
to call me "Wank Bunny"... Don't ask me why, they just think "Wank" is this
really cool word. So I'm Wank Bunny. I'm Wank Bunny, the white bunny rabbit
that everyone (except the fuckin' foxes and wolves) get along with.
Well, as you might guess, I LOVE carrots. But I also LOVE oranges.
Don't ask me why, it's just a fetish. None of the other bunnies like them,
but I do. I love 'em. They all call me weird and wanker and shit, but I
don't mind. They're real good tasten. The only problem with Oranges is
they're a pain to peel. Oh yeah, and the only way to get them up here in
Chicago (where I live) is to sneak into the big human food places and roll
them out with me. And humans laugh at me when they see me roll away with an
orange, but I don't care. The orange is worth it. Okay, as I was saying, I
love carrots too. And this day was a special day or something because the
doors on the humans food place were locked and no one was going in or out, so
I had to get some carrots from a humans food growing place by where I live.
No big deal, I do it all the time. This day, however, one of those little
humans caught me. And I didn't get away, because I had pigged out on Oranges
the previous day, which slowed me down it seems. So this stupid little female
human was trying to talk to me and shit, she had her face in mine making all
these idiotic faces at me, like I'm gonna find HER cute or something... yuck.
Humans are disgusting bloated sacks of protoplasm, that's what they are. So
she has her face up in mine, so I bite her nose, hoping she'd drop me and
stuff. But she didn't. It just made her mad, and she brought me into her big
human place and threw me into a closed room. That kinda pissed me off,
because it was a small place with furry ground and very little room to roam
around. I hated it, as you can tell. so then big humans came into the room,
grabbed me, and threw me into this CAGE! I was their captive; their prisoner!
I had to get out; I had to escape! so when they brought me back outside in
the cage a few hours later, i bashed my body against the cage and broke the
lock. Then I ran for my dear life. Hopped, moreoever. I'm not a good
runner, not many bunnys are, but I'm a great hopper. So I hopped for dear
life. I hopped until I couldn't hop no more. Then I hopped some more. By
the time I was all hopped out I was in the forest, where a lot of my friends
lived. I decided to go find a few of them and hang out with them for the day.
That's where this wolf guy comes in. I was so tired out, when he jumped
out at me, I had no where to go. I was too winded to run away. So here I am,
about to be eaten, and I can't do a flying fuck about it. You know, life
really sucks sometimes.
--- Will Wank Bunny Survive the Wolf? ---
--- Will The Evil Humans Recapture him? ---
--- Will You Have Herpes from that One Night stand last Oct.? ---
All these, and more questions, will be answered in the Next
exciting "Wank Bunny" text file!
-MiLK- '94
????????????????????????[MiLK] Information?????????????????????????????????
[MiLK] Sights - Barney's Pleasure Palace! (708)965-3098
The Lunatic Phringe (708)232-0565
[MiLK] Member Listing - James Hetfield
Nyarlathotep
Epic
Plaid Wilderbeast
Mendeleev
[MiLK] Issue Number - 14
[MiLK] Issue Size - 5750 Bytes
[MiLK] Date of Production: 2/24/93
?????????????????Snoopy Is A Demi-God; Just Ask Him!?????????????????????????